As promised! Level 2 pics

Okay, so this is almost 48 hours late... but, hey.. at least I'm getting it done. I even got some "booty" shorts so you guys can see all the gory details of my currently-overweight body! Also: stay tuned for an actual update probably later today.

End of Level 1/Start of Level 2 pics:

191.2 lbs, 1/21/13

Alcohol is a depressant – WHO KNEW?! Also: 30DS Level 2 stats

I missed two workouts last week – Tuesday and Friday. I had full intentions of catching up Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was a go – I got out of bed, got motivated, got it done. BOOM. Then I went out for drinks for a friend’s birthday… lots of drinks. Sunday I was in a funk and pretty depressed the whole day.

Did you guys know alcohol is a depressant?!

Obviously that was sarcasm… but I guess I never really made the connection for myself, the way my body reacts, as lots of drinks equaling mini depression the following day. But this time I definitely felt it/saw it.

There was no rallying for Shredding on Sunday. I had a brief moment of motivation around 6pm, which fleeted rather quickly. Andrea was going to come Shred with me that night around 8:30pm – I really didn’t want to do it, but when you have someone specifically coming over to workout with you it’s a little rude to just be like, “oh, hey, thanks for coming – I don’t wanna anymore”. I was dreading it but at the same time knew it would really make me feel better. I would feel a million times better. So I resolved myself to get it done at 8:30pm. Well, around 7:45pm I got a text asking if we should just “shred now” and then we could get busy just hanging out later in the evening – yes! Yes, let’s do that! I went upstairs to put on my gym clothes. Let’s just get it done, I thought to myself. Well… that was the moment my 7 year old decided to start arguing with me over bedtime. This argument spiraled into a full-blown meltdown. That lasted for an hour.

Bye-bye chance for exercising. Bye-bye motivation to do anything but have a glass of wine and feel sorry for myself. Bye-bye chance for mommy time and taking care of my own health and happiness.

Siiiiiiiigggghhhhhhhh.

It may seem like I’m being a big whiner, but I feel like this is a big part of why I haven’t been able to reach my goals yet. A) I have mommy guilt and therefore focus my “free” time on doing stuff for my children and/or family and/or around the house instead of taking care of my body, or B) I get in this “What’s the point when someone is just going to need me as soon as I start a workout anyway?”, which is SO TRUE. Out of the 9 workouts I’ve done for 30 Day Shred, 6 of those have been in the midst of being asked a billion little kid questions, yelling at James to quit standing in front of the TV, and/or almost stepping on him/smashing him in the face with a dumbbell.

I should have spent this weekend transforming my basement into my Home Gym area. We have a TV down there. We have a DVD player down there. Unfortunately both of those things are completely buried beneath millions of toys that never get played with and stuff that is supposed to be living in our storage area – NOT in the middle of the basement floor. Unfortunately my husband regularly mistakes middle-of-the-basement-floor with storage-room.

…then there’s the issue of being a tall person and having a low basement ceiling. But I need to get over that. It’s not SO low. It’s still, like, I dunno – 7 ft. Just not the 9ft ceilings we have in our living room on the main level. #firstworldproblems

Okay, so even though I have not officially finished Level 1 (which I WILL do tonight and maybe even FOLLOW it with Level 2!! AHH! LUNACY!), I’m going to go ahead and provide Level 2 starting measurements – updates in blue:

Weight: 189.6 lbs / 191.2 lbs

Estimated Body Fat: 32.5% / 34.6% (I TOTALLY measured myself wrong the first time. This time around I also used the 3-point caliper measurement instead of just using my belly measurement. Had I used just my belly measurement for this, my estimate was closer to 36%. So: 34.6% NEW starting measurement.)

Chest (across bust w/sports bra on): 39” / 38” (same sports bra worn for accuracy)

Waist: 34.5” / 33”

Waist at naval: 39” / 37”

Hips: 45” / no change

Bicep (flexing): 12.5" / 12"

Thigh: 26” / no change

As you can see, there is quite a difference at my waist/waist at naval measurements! Hips haven’t changed at all, but I don’t expect this measurement to change until I lose another 10-15lbs. I am a pear. Most of my weight is in my hips/thighs. Plus my butt is definitely, erm, perkier? Maybe I should put it this way: I actually have the beginnings of having a butt now instead of being cursed with perpetual “white girl butt”, ie: WIDE AND FLAT.  A lost half an inch off my arms – super excited about that! However, gaining almost 2lbs = major disappointment. But looking at my measurements I know I should get the hell off the scale and just focus on measurements and body fat.  …I’m just not ready yet.

I will be posting end-of-level-1/beginning-of-level-2 pictures later tonight!

Finding The New Old Me

Yesterday, straight from work, I went out to dinner with my mother-in-law (who is also the owner of the company where I work). We had a really wonderful dinner and a great time talking about not only work and our office culture, but just visiting and getting to know one another a little better. Also: Outback Steakhouse is delicious. I ordered the "petit filet and shrimp on the barbie" combo. It comes with a little loaded baked potato as well. I was more than pleasantly surprised to look up the calories when I got home and see that it came in UNDER 600 calories. Amazing. AND delicious.

However, when I came home I had a momentary moment of "I don't wanna" and didn't get my workout in. (Did you like that? "a momentary moment" - I am a brilliant writer!)

It's amazing the difference I felt at certain points during the day and tonight. I think I didn't notice over the weekend when I was "resting" because I was too busy staying up too late with my mom, my husband, etc. and figured the fatigue was just from being stupid and getting only 4 hours of sleep at night... but this morning, it was a little harder to get out of bed, and this evening when I got home from work it was a LOT harder to motivate to get the workout done. I also started feeling oddly bummed and borderline depressed kind of out of nowhere. I said to Mike, "I don't want to do my exercises... I just want to lounge on the couch while I eat junk food, drink beer and watch tv with you." And thank goodness for my husband, because he said to me, "Well, you can do all of those things AFTER you get your workout done. It'll make you feel better. You always feel better after exercising."

He was super right.

I went and put my workout clothes on and got to it as soon as the baby went to bed. I felt so much better. That weird depression funk - gone. Those junk food cravings - gone. I may still indulge in a beer and some tv with the hubby - but I think those two things are perfectly okay. :)

Another awesome thing? I think I'm already noticing a difference in my body - as in, the way it looks. That's CRAZY! It's only been a week! But I feel like my thighs are already shedding their cellulite and toning up like-whoa, there's a difference in my arms, and my posture is definitely improving. I wish I was seeing more changes in my belly area... but... that will come. It's always the last thing to go. Plus... I previewed level 2 tonight and.. it's all sneaky ab work. The strength is sneaky ab work, the cardio is sneaky ab work, and the ab work.. well... that's ab work, without the sneak...

But as I was getting ready to do my workout, well - remember the other day when I posted about how I've been keeping my room clean and my bed made and all that goodness? I noticed that today... and JUST today... I noticed that I was sort of just throwing crap all over my room/bed again and it looked really messy. I was in that weird depression funk and so the negative inner-monologue started up immediately - "See, I knew you couldn't keep up with it. You're not really changing. You're not really trying to be a new you." (I am so shitty to myself, right?! What a jerk. I would never stay friends with someone who spoke to me that way, yet I am constantly telling myself those kinds of things. Sigh) and so on and so on and so forth... well, I stopped myself. And I immediately cleaned off my bed. Just because my room was messy for one day, didn't mean I would never keep it in order again. Just like just because I didn't workout yesterday, didn't mean I was going to just give up and quit altogether. And I realized: right now, I am working to become the new old me.

I'll explain: Way back in the day, before stupid bad boyfriends and out-of-wedlock children, before moving to the desert and back, before growing older and growing up - I was a shockingly well-adjusted teenager who really liked having a clean room. A clean bathroom, not so much... but mostly just because I hate cleaning bathrooms (which is why that is now Mike's job). That surprisingly well-adjusted teenager also was skinny and fairly active in her everyday life, which is probably how she stayed so skinny. Also eating meals at home (cooked by my wonderful mother) 90% of the time.

So here I am struggling to become myself again. To become a new old me. The first part of that started by working to shed the excess weight, and now I'm working on keeping my environment tidy which seems to really help keep my emotional health "tidy" as well. Now that's morphing into just being happy with myself. Being okay with who I am and working on being a better wife, mother, friend, sister, and daughter. I have a long way to go. The last time I can really remember knowing who I was and feeling confident in myself was when I was 17. It was just shortly after that when some poor decisions were made on my part (after just coming out of a phase of making really really just plain bad decisions), and I completely lost myself. I am really excited to feel like I might actually be able to succeed in being who I really want to be.

So I'm just going to give myself a big pat on the back for fighting that negative inner-monologue, getting back on track with my exercise even though I was really wrapped up in my mini depression, and tidying up my space even though it seemed totally overwhelming (even though it was just a little bit of stuff). Go me!


P.S.
Hooray for my husband cleaning the bathrooms tonight and also vacuuming the whole main floor of the house when he got home from work!

30 Day Shred - Week2/Day6

So far so good, Dear Readers!

I have completed 5 days of 30DS and I'm feeling so great about this workout! It's easy for me to motivate to do it because I know it's only going to take me 20-25 minutes to get through the whole thing. That's awesome. I was even able to fit in a workout on my lunch break the other day so I could go meet up with some girlfriends for happy hour after work. It was definitely cutting it close since the workout makes me so damn sweaty that I had to be sure to get a shower in too, but it is definitely nice to know that if I need to I can make it work. There is something to be said for something that makes me feel like I HAVE time for it, versus something I must MAKE time for.

The only disappointment I have: my scale tells me I gained weight.

Official weight @ 1/11/2013: 191.8 lbs

That’s 2.2 lbs. That seems a little ridiculous, but I know I am probably retaining water hardcore from jumping into an everyday workout routine that includes strength training. We’ll see what the scale reveals next Friday after I adapt into things a little better. I’m feeling like I shouldn’t let the stupid scale get me down, but I won’t lie: there is part of me that is a little discouraged. Fortunately, there’s a larger part of me that is like “WHATEVER SCALE! You don’t know ANYTHING! I’m going to do this, and look AWESOME!” – so yay for that inner-monologue haha! I will also be taking “end of level 1” measurements next Friday (or possibly Saturday morning). 

And now to just randomly jump into food related things! A couple weeks ago I cut my daily calorie intake back to 1800 since I was doing little-to-no exercise and had hit a plateau at 191 for a month. It worked! I lost a few pounds. But now I’m working out again – 5 days a week, and I’m regularly only netting about 1200-1400 calories after my workout burn and then my “Fitbit adjustment”. I’m starting to worry I may not be eating enough. See, my FitBit has been telling me that just being me and doing what I normally do (without on-purpose exercise, just walking around, going up and down stairs, etc.), I average a daily burn at about 2600 calories/day. Mon-Fri are generally a bit lower since I have a desk job, but I am now exercising Mon-Fri. I’m thinking about upping my calorie intake, but I’m trying to do a little more research on net calories first.

This is very quickly making me wish I just didn’t track calories at all, but I know I’m nowhere near active enough to just blow off tracking for any amount of time at all other than maybe a day or two. I also feel like I’m wanting to splurge a lot more lately. I’m hungrier. That probably has something to do with adding regular exercise into my life… metabolism boost and all of that. I’m trying to sate that hunger with healthy foods instead of high-cal restaurant options… but sometimes Mexican food just calls my name. And by calls, I mean screams its demands that I eat it until I just can’t take it anymore and finish a whole bowl of salsa and basket of chips along with those enchiladas covered in sour cream sauce.

Ohmygoodness, I just made myself super hungry typing that out. *dies*

I’ve been working on going to bed at decent times for the last week, which I’m getting much better at with the exception of this weekend when both Friday and Saturday I decided staying up until nearly 3am was an excellent idea.

I’ll give you some advice: it’s not. EVER.

It is NEVER a good idea to stay up that late, but especially not a good idea when you have young children that get up between 6 and 7am every day. Without fail. So aside from Saturday and Sunday morning, I have been waking up feeling refreshed and well-rested even when it is 6:30am. Now I just need to take this newfound bright-eyed feeling and apply it to doing, y’know, some kind of yoga or even busting out the Shred in the morning instead of spending it lounging on my couch while I take in some Arthur and Curious George on PBS.

…those shows are so good, though. Especially Arthur. Love me some Arthur.

Another thing I’ve been doing every day that has made me feel especially good: making my bed and putting away any clothes in the floor – whether those go to the hamper or get folded and put back in the dresser/closet. It’s amazing! My room feels so uncluttered (even though it’s not really), and I think it’s part of what helps me sleep better and wake up refreshed in the mornings. 

I'm really impressed with myself and the positive changes I'm making. My only criticism of myself this last week is that I've fallen out of habit of cooking dinner. That will be one of my main focuses this week, get back on track with the cooking!

Before I close out this post, I want to say how super proud I am of my girl Andrea for doing the 30 Day Shred with me! We both struggled hard once winter hit to stay motivated to workout and we both stalled in our weight loss - so go you, Andrea! Thanks for doing this with me and staying motivated!! :)

30 Day Shred – Day 1 Pics and Measurements

Please find below my official Day 1 measurements and “before” pictures!

Weight: 189.6 lbs

Estimated Body Fat: 32.5%

Chest (across bust w/sports bra on): 39”

Waist: 34.5”

Waist at naval: 39”

Hips: 45”

Bicep (flexing): 12.5”

Thigh: 26”

A real update will be coming soon!!!

Pleasant Surprises & 30 Day Shred Start

I stepped on the scale Friday morning (after almost forgetting to weigh-in before layering up and running out the door to work), and was pleasantly surprised:

Official weight at 1/4/2013 (first weigh-in of the New Year!): 189.6 lbs

Woo! Finally got through that 191 plateau and am .3 lbs lighter than I was when I first dipped under the 190 mark.

I think cutting my calories back to the 1800 mark definitely has helped. I thought it would be so hard to cut back down after being at 2,000 for those few months (even though it’s only a 200 calorie difference) – but it’s been surprisingly easy. I’m regularly staying under the 1800 mark, which I attribute to eating at home more and trying to eat more “clean” in general.

Today (1/7/12), I begin Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred with my friend Andrea! I’m actually really excited about it and I am hoping I’ll get the results I’m hoping for… I’m also hoping not to be totally devastated and disappointed if I don’t get the results I’m hoping for. I feel like I have a little bit of a high standard for this thing since soooo many folks on MyFitnessPal rave about it and have posted some amazing before/after pictures. I need to try to be realistic about it, though. The program is meant to be done 6-7 days a week, and I’ll be doing it 5. And if I want to be honest, there will probably be times where I will only be able to get 4 workouts in during the week. I have 2 young children. Shit happens. But I am excited and motivated nonetheless! If for nothing more than to get into some kind of regular exercise routine, whether this actually works like I want it to or not.

I feel terrible that I’ve completely abandoned my weight-lifting books. It’s something I definitely want to get back into and focus on. Maybe that will be one of my February goals – “LIFT WEIGHTS!”.

So speaking on motivation, I actually started getting my home together this weekend. I rearranged my living to be more functional and cozy. I hung artwork. I got new lamps for my bedroom and cleaned up the 3 foot pile of not-clean/not-dirty clothes living next to my side of the bed. I mopped my kitchen floor. I ran laundry, I did dishes. I even MADE MY BED this morning. I haven’t made my bed since I was 16 years old. That is a real and true fact. A sad, real and true fact.

It all felt SO AMAZING!! I hope I can keep up with it. I attribute this all to the sun actually being out this weekend, and the fact that it is now still light outside when I leave work for the day. Two very important things for the life of Jessica. The only thing I totally failed on was getting out of bed this morning. I wanted to sleep forever. That may have something to do with not going to bed until 12:30am. …going to bed earlier = something I need to work on…

I’m taking a bunch of official measurements tonight for 30 Day Shred, so I will post those probably tomorrow.

Anyone else experiencing a little boost in energy as the daylight hours grow more plentiful?

2012 In (short) Review

Well, 2012 has ended and 2013 officially begun. It has now been a year since I jumped back into the "lose weight" game. Now for some stat comparison!

January 2012:

• weight: 216 lbs
• chest: 43" (across bust)
• waist: 37"
• hips 48.5"
• thighs: 28"
• biceps flexing: 13"

January 2013:

• weight: 191 lbs
• chest: 39" (across bust)
• waist: 34"
• hips: 44.5"
• thighs: 26"
• biceps flexing: 12.5"
• estimated body fat: 32.5%

Overall loss: 25 lbs/13.5 inches

Not too shabby. Last year when I restarted my weight-loss journey after having my second baby I stated that I wanted to focus on waist-not-weight. Well, a year of trying to convince myself that’s better hasn’t gotten me anywhere. My waist has been the same size for almost 6 months, but my weight continues to ever-so-slowly creep lower. I know that 191 lbs is not where I should be - even if I had a bunch of muscle mass I’d be at 180, maybe. But I’m thinking if I were at 22% body fat, I’d be closer to about 170 lbs.

My goal weight is 160 lbs. My goal body fat is 22%. I fully expect to meet these goals by 12/31/2013. However, I will say that meeting the body fat % goal is much more important to me. If I get to 22% BF and weigh 175 lbs, that is soooo okay.

I will continue to weigh-in weekly. I will continue to take measurements (both tape and caliper) as I remember/find the time.

Other goals I wish to accomplish in 2013 (or resolutions, if you will):

• Cut waaaaaay back on smoking, if not completely quit altogether (already doing pretty well on this – I’m not even smoking every day anymore.)
• Eat more “clean” foods, switch to mostly organic where I can afford it (already started on this by switching to organic milk and juice, as well as buying most of the “dirty dozen” produce items organic – apples, pears, etc. It’s the meat I can’t seem to bring myself to spend the extra money on…)
• Continue to cook dinners on the regular

There are lots of other things I want to work on this year in my never-ending road to becoming a Real Live Adult, and most of those are emotional/social and, to be honest, I don’t feel like diving into right now, but I’m sure I’ll get there soon.

What are your goals and/or resolutions for 2013? Which of these is your number 1 priority?