Today marks one year since I started this blog. After reading over some of my early posts, I realize I've come a long way and back again. Not sure how I feel about the "back again" part, but some of those things I was hoping for my body are now out of my control.. what with being pregnant and all. The baby kind of decides what happens from here lol.
I'm quite a bit heavier today than I was a year ago. I guess that's kind of stating the obvious. I'm sure almost all of my measurements are larger than they were then. I've packed on quite a bit of weight aside form just the "baby" weight. I have not been good about keeping my blog updated at all, either. Some days I feel pretty awful about that and other days I feel like it doesn't really matter since I can't really obsess over body image right now. I'm trying to make healthy decisions, pregnant or not, but I definitely have my moments where all I want is a fricken brownie - and therefore brownies (and ice cream, and milkshakes, and cheese fries, and pizza...) happen and happen often.
I'm already devising my plan for attaining that illusive "skinny" (or even "slender" at this point) after I am not longer host to my perfect little parasite.
I started reading Dr. Oz's YOU: On A Diet. I'm about a quarter of the way through it and then got distracted by life... I also was starting to feel pretty depressed about not being able to put my plan into action yet. I'm excited to get back to it. One of the small steps I'm trying to take right now is cooking every night. I'm nowhere close to it yet, but I'm going to try to start planning menus in advance like I used to do way back in the day. I feel like even this is a huge task to take on since my third trimester exhaustion is kicking in full force.
Another thing I want to focus on in the next year is "teaching" my family how to eat better. My skinny skinny little kiddo has started packing on the chub. I'm hoping/thinking this may be storage for a giant growth spurt that's about to happen... but there's no reason I should be feeding him processed crap for dinner every night of the week. He's old enough now that when I do cook he's pretty good about trying new things and has even realized he likes some of the "healthier" things. We do pretty well for breakfast and lunch... it's just the dinner issue. Things like mac'n'cheese, fishsticks, chicken nuggets, hot dogs... terrible terrible.
I'm kind of all over the place with this post. I have a hard time focusing on things lately - another reason why I don't post very often.
My baby is due around Thanksgiving... so sometime around the New Year you should expect to start seeing more regular updates!
9/21/11
7/15/11
A grand return! (Hopefully...)
Wow. Talk about slacking on my blog updating. I'm so awesome.
Okay, so since my last post almost a MONTH AGO... I've had a couple of doctor's appointments.. one where I was told I've already gained too much weight (16lbs by week 19, they wanted be to gain 15lbs or less for the entire 40 weeks -- I'm currently at 215lbs) and I was then told to look into the South Beach Diet in order to maintain my weight through the remainder of my pregnancy (I'll elaborate more on this in a moment).. the second we got a comprehensive "anatomy" ultrasound and found out: WE'RE HAVING A BOY! :)
No name picked out yet. It's been a bit of a struggle.
So let's get back to the first doc appointment - the one where I was told I'm super overweight and that I'm basically guaranteeing myself a difficult 3rd trimester if I keep at the pace I'm currently going. The bout of depression sparked from this was a little intense. I'm not entirely sure I'm out of it yet. It's made me want to eat lots of junk food, which of course just would make me feel even MORE depressed. The last 2 weeks has definitely been a struggle and I'm trying really hard not to completely obsess over food and food intake to an unhealthy degree. I think there are days where I definitely have NOT succeeded in keeping my mental health regarding food and my weight.
I can't even accurately put into words my shock at being told to follow the South Beach Diet for the remainder of my pregnancy - thinking that the South Beach Diet was just another Atkins or Zone diet and why the hell would I want to cut out all fruits and veggies from my diet in favor for massive amounts of meat and cheese? I thought South Beach was your run of the mill no-carb/low-carb diet. But after a couple days of beating myself up for being a fatty, I decided to look into it... turns out South Beach is much closer to the "whole food" diets currently being preached such fitness/health celebrities as Jackie Warner and Dr. Oz. I picked up a paperback copy of the book at my local Borders for $7 and have really enjoyed reading it. The man who developed the diet, Dr. Agatston, is a cardiologist and developed the plan to help his patients who were struggling with controlling not only their weight, but their pre-diabetic and diabetic symptoms on the American Heart Associations high-carb low-fat diet. I haven't finished reading the book yet, but so far I'm quite impressed with all the medical background and information provided on how what you eat effects your body -- most specifically your blood chemistry which is responsible for keeping your entire body running smoothly and efficiently. I think this might be something I can actually do and stick with, and might enjoy in the process.
The only negative thing I have to say about it so far is the encouragement to use artificial sweeteners, which I'm SUPER against unless you're going for something derived from natural sources such as stevia. Once I finish the book, and if I decide to give this lifestyle a try, I'll be tweaking things a bit to get rid of any saccharin/aspartame/sucralose use suggested. I think I'd like to read Dr. Roizen and Dr. Oz's YOU: On a Diet before committing to South Beach, though.
Some of the other things going on with me: I keep thinking I should really get back into my gym routine. I've been doing a lot of reading about fitness during pregnancy, and it sounds like it would be perfectly fine for me to do my usual weight training as long as I make sure to not push myself to extremes, and also lighten up my weight just a little bit. I feel like I at least need to commit to 20 mins of cardio every day weather it's at the gym or just walking around my neighborhood.
Now for the fun stuff - Mike and I are VERY EXCITED that we are having another boy! :) This weekend we are going to work toward getting the guest room cleaned out to turn it into the nursery. I think that will really make me feel better about everything going on with me right now - getting things cleaned and organized, and next weekend hopefully getting some painting done will make me feel like I'm accomplishing things and being productive.
So there is a brief overview of what's been going on with me! I'm going to really work on being better about updating - try and hold me to it!
Okay, so since my last post almost a MONTH AGO... I've had a couple of doctor's appointments.. one where I was told I've already gained too much weight (16lbs by week 19, they wanted be to gain 15lbs or less for the entire 40 weeks -- I'm currently at 215lbs) and I was then told to look into the South Beach Diet in order to maintain my weight through the remainder of my pregnancy (I'll elaborate more on this in a moment).. the second we got a comprehensive "anatomy" ultrasound and found out: WE'RE HAVING A BOY! :)
No name picked out yet. It's been a bit of a struggle.
So let's get back to the first doc appointment - the one where I was told I'm super overweight and that I'm basically guaranteeing myself a difficult 3rd trimester if I keep at the pace I'm currently going. The bout of depression sparked from this was a little intense. I'm not entirely sure I'm out of it yet. It's made me want to eat lots of junk food, which of course just would make me feel even MORE depressed. The last 2 weeks has definitely been a struggle and I'm trying really hard not to completely obsess over food and food intake to an unhealthy degree. I think there are days where I definitely have NOT succeeded in keeping my mental health regarding food and my weight.
I can't even accurately put into words my shock at being told to follow the South Beach Diet for the remainder of my pregnancy - thinking that the South Beach Diet was just another Atkins or Zone diet and why the hell would I want to cut out all fruits and veggies from my diet in favor for massive amounts of meat and cheese? I thought South Beach was your run of the mill no-carb/low-carb diet. But after a couple days of beating myself up for being a fatty, I decided to look into it... turns out South Beach is much closer to the "whole food" diets currently being preached such fitness/health celebrities as Jackie Warner and Dr. Oz. I picked up a paperback copy of the book at my local Borders for $7 and have really enjoyed reading it. The man who developed the diet, Dr. Agatston, is a cardiologist and developed the plan to help his patients who were struggling with controlling not only their weight, but their pre-diabetic and diabetic symptoms on the American Heart Associations high-carb low-fat diet. I haven't finished reading the book yet, but so far I'm quite impressed with all the medical background and information provided on how what you eat effects your body -- most specifically your blood chemistry which is responsible for keeping your entire body running smoothly and efficiently. I think this might be something I can actually do and stick with, and might enjoy in the process.
The only negative thing I have to say about it so far is the encouragement to use artificial sweeteners, which I'm SUPER against unless you're going for something derived from natural sources such as stevia. Once I finish the book, and if I decide to give this lifestyle a try, I'll be tweaking things a bit to get rid of any saccharin/aspartame/sucralose use suggested. I think I'd like to read Dr. Roizen and Dr. Oz's YOU: On a Diet before committing to South Beach, though.
Some of the other things going on with me: I keep thinking I should really get back into my gym routine. I've been doing a lot of reading about fitness during pregnancy, and it sounds like it would be perfectly fine for me to do my usual weight training as long as I make sure to not push myself to extremes, and also lighten up my weight just a little bit. I feel like I at least need to commit to 20 mins of cardio every day weather it's at the gym or just walking around my neighborhood.
Now for the fun stuff - Mike and I are VERY EXCITED that we are having another boy! :) This weekend we are going to work toward getting the guest room cleaned out to turn it into the nursery. I think that will really make me feel better about everything going on with me right now - getting things cleaned and organized, and next weekend hopefully getting some painting done will make me feel like I'm accomplishing things and being productive.
So there is a brief overview of what's been going on with me! I'm going to really work on being better about updating - try and hold me to it!
6/27/11
This Weekend
Well, I already told you guys I didn't count calories on Friday.. and then had this brilliant idea so go and ahead and calculate them "just to see"... yes, well, I stopped when I got to 3'000 by lunch... eesh. I'm just going to try to forget about that. MOVING ON!
Saturday I did awesome, even with dinner out. And yesterday was a win until I decided to eat half a pint of Ben & Jerry's while watching the True Blood premiere (AHHH!! LOVE IT!).. but now that ice cream is gone and I don't have to worry about that anymore lol. On to the stats..
Sat. 6/25:
Saturday I did awesome, even with dinner out. And yesterday was a win until I decided to eat half a pint of Ben & Jerry's while watching the True Blood premiere (AHHH!! LOVE IT!).. but now that ice cream is gone and I don't have to worry about that anymore lol. On to the stats..
Sat. 6/25:
- net calories: 2,072
- breakfast: quaker Oh's with milk
- am/pm snacks: nectarine, Jell-O strawberry cheesecake pudding thing, a normal serving of ice cream
- lunch: deli chicken sandwich w/ chips
- dinner: steak fajitas w/o tortillas, some chips and salsa/queso
- no exercise - BOOOOO
- 1am bedtime - also BOOOOO
Sun. 6/26:
- net calories: 2,625 - ugh, that hurts to look at a little bit...
- breakfast: Wegman's version of cinnamon toast crunch w/ milk
- am/pm snacks: nectarine, bowl of "Fall Harvest" cereal (lots of dried fruit and whole grain), WAY TOO MUCH ICE CREAM
- lunch: same as Saturday
- dinner: a tiny portion of velveeta shells and cheese
- no exercise - I was so lazy yesterday..
- 11pm bedtime
I just can NOT get back on this whole exercise bandwagon. Morning sickness killed my fitness routine and I am having a super hard time motivating because honestly my inner-monologue goes something like this, "I should exercise. But I'm tired. And my feet kind of hurt. And even if I do exercise it's not going to help anything because I'm still fat and I'm just going to get fatter.. so maybe I should just do my lunch walks when it's not too hot and I feel like it and call it a day. *looks in the mirror* My arms are SO FLABBY... gross. SO MUCH FLAB. Super gross. I should do my preggo ab stuff.. but I'm tired. And I'm still gonna be flabby and fat because I can't REALLY workout to the intensity I would like to be anyway.. I'm just going to get fatter. I'll just focus on my calories and leave the exercise for after the baby comes." and so on and so on and so forth... more self-loathing, more excuse, more everything. I really really do just feel like it's hopeless to really focus on any kind of regular exercise right now because I'm going to see NO results... and it's not even the usual, "Oh, I can't really expect to see any results for 4-6 weeks." it's "YOU WILL NEVER SEE RESULTS UNTIL NEXT FEBRUARY WHEN YOU CAN START DOING CARDIO AND LIFTING WEIGHTS AGAIN." and that makes me sooooooo depressed.. and then I get all depressed about having not worked harder BEFORE I got pregnant and then I hate on myself on that for a day or two.. and then I'll have one day where I feel really motivated and I'll go walk for like 2 miles and then it just starts all over again. It's poop. I really worry I'm going to get hit hard with postpartum depression over my body image and it's going to make me totally crazy for like 6 months.
6/25/11
Three day update!
I was swamped at work all day thursday and then was completely exhausted by the time I got home... I've gotten into a bad habit of staying up way later than I probably should just because my body is no longer FORCING me to go to bed at like 9:30pm every night. I wanted to go to bed early thursday night... but the trash tv sucked me in until about midnight. Last night I went out for a bit for ladies night with some of my friends and actually did manage to get home about 11:30 and go straight to bed. Definitely slept in this morning and I think I'm probably seeing a nap in my future too.
I've done pretty well with my eating the last until yesterday, when I didn't count calories and ate tons of garbage, so here are some stats for you!
Weds. 6/22:
Well, like I said I didn't really count calories yesterday, but I had CiCi's pizza for lunch with soda and a happy meal for dinner, and then some crab dip at ladies night which was made with cream cheese and served with BUTTERED GARLIC BREAD... that was probably my whole day of calories on it's own lol. Also with all that sodium intake and being out in the heat, my feet and ankles were HELLA swollen when I got home. They seem to have gone back down to normal now.. but that was a little scary to see your toes little miniature compared to the size of your foot body and ankles. Yuck. Ah, the joys of pregnancy.
I've done pretty well with my eating the last until yesterday, when I didn't count calories and ate tons of garbage, so here are some stats for you!
Weds. 6/22:
- net calories: 1,566 - this was probably waaaay too few. I had some time management problems and it effected what I had time to eat BIG TIME so I kind of just.. didn't really eat. What I DID eat was healthy stuff though, so that's good!
- breakfast: oatmeal
- am/pm snacks: nectarine, blueberries, a couple mini tootsie rolls, some whole grain crackers, apples w/ peanut butter, yoplait frozen smoothie
- lunch: rotisserie chicken sandwich with some chips, a cookie, and a cup of juice
- dinner: a small salad with homemade balsalmic vinagrette, a bowl of cereal
- 35 minute walk on hilly terrain at a brisk pace - yay!
- 12am bedtime
- net calories: 2,144 - I definitely let the chocolate sitting around the office break my temptation
- breakfast: oatmeal
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, 3 or 4 hershey's dark chocolate nuggets, iced venti chai, fiber one bar
- lunch: 5 Guys little cheeseburger w/ a handful of fries
- dinner: GIANT balsalmic salad w/ a black bean quesadilla (SO GOOD)
- no exercise
- another late bedtime, I can't remember what time though
Well, like I said I didn't really count calories yesterday, but I had CiCi's pizza for lunch with soda and a happy meal for dinner, and then some crab dip at ladies night which was made with cream cheese and served with BUTTERED GARLIC BREAD... that was probably my whole day of calories on it's own lol. Also with all that sodium intake and being out in the heat, my feet and ankles were HELLA swollen when I got home. They seem to have gone back down to normal now.. but that was a little scary to see your toes little miniature compared to the size of your foot body and ankles. Yuck. Ah, the joys of pregnancy.
6/22/11
Dang Quesadillas
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| That was the AMAZING vegetarian quesadilla I made myself for dinner last night!!! |
So I was craving some mexican pretty hard core last night... I realized I had tortillas, beans and cheese.. so I came up with a vegetarian quesadilla for myself -and here is the recipe for all of you:
Dang Vegetarian Quesadilla
- 1 eight inch whole wheat/whole grain tortilla (I used a brand called Wrap-Itz)
- 1/2 or 1 cup of black beans
- 1 or 2 sliced mini sweet peppers
- 1/4 or less of an onion, sliced
- 1/4 cup of shredded cheese (I used a mexican blend)
- 1 tbsp vegan butter (super high in omega-3s, which is why I use it for a lot of my cooking in place of regular butter)
- 2 tbsp of sour cream
- Dash of cumin
- Dash of cheyenne pepper
Heat black beans in a small pot with a dash of cumin and cheyenne. In a small skillet melt 1/2 tbsp of vegan butter and saute onion/pepper with a dash of cumin and cheyenne - saute about 2 minutes on medium to medium-high heat. Spread the other 1/2 tbsp of vegan butter on one side of the tortilla. Remove cooked onion/pepper to a plate. Place your tortilla buttered side down in your skillet on medium heat. Sprinkle half of your cheese on the tortilla, add your warmed black beans (I used a slatted spoon to avoid making my tortilla soggy), top the beans with your cooked onion/pepper and top all ingredients with the remaining cheese. Fold your tortilla in half and cook evenly on both sides until outside appears "crunchy". Slice with a pizza cutter and serve with sour cream! SUPER YUMMY!!
Nutritional Info (w/o sour cream):
Calories: 372
Fat: 12g
Sodium: 911mg (if you use reduced sodium beans this will prob be cut in half)
Carbs: 47g
Fiber: 11g
Protein: 18g
Pretty darn healthy if you ask me.. just don't do what I did and eat two... lol
Stats for 6/21:
- net calories: 2,113 - I'm totally okay with this because I ate ALL whole foods yesterday with the exception of a serving of kettle chips with lunch and a fiber one granola bar.
- breakfast: oatmeal
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, fiber one bar, nectarine, blueberries, raw almonds
- lunch: turkey sandwich w/ kettle chips and some juice
- dinner: small salad w/ homemade balsalmic vinagrette, 2 veggie quesadillas w/ sour cream
- no exercise (boo)
- 10:30pm lights out (thank goodness!)
Tonight I'm going walking with my friend Andrea, I'm pretty excited about that! However I'm NOT excited about having no workout pants that fit... I even went and bought some XXLs from Target yesterday... too tight... uggggghhh.. that made me feel AWESOME. I have to return that stuff this afternoon... along with the bras that have no hope of fitting... so depressing. I'm ready to be done already, thank you! lol
Bonus picture of my baby bump!
Bonus picture of my baby bump!
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| 17 weeks - almost halfway there! |
6/21/11
FML
"Epic Fail" is not even close to what yesterday was for me.. it was like the day that destroyed my life when it comes to eating. I definitely hit a point during the afternoon where I mentally said "fuck it" and just indulged knowing full well it wouldn't help me and wouldn't make me happy.
Let's just start with stats and I'll elaborate from there...
Mon. 6/20:
- net calories: 2'500
- breakfast: oatmeal, 3 dunkin donuts munchkins
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, nectarine, blueberries, raw almonds, bagel w/ cream cheese, sugar cookie
- lunch: 7-layer burrito and crunchy taco from Taco Bell... I didn't even order the taco, they just ended up giving it to me.. I could have given it to Mike or just not eaten it... it was NOT good. The 7-layer burrito was delicious... and just that would have been okay, but that extra yucky taco was the beginning of me screwing myself.
- dinner: 2 slices of leftover ham pizza.. should have eaten a salad after my lunch splurge, but this was the mental "fuck it" I was talking about.
- 25 minute walk - thank GOD I at least got SOME exercise in
- bedtime.. way later than I wanted it to be. SOMEONE decided they needed to watch tv in the bedroom until 12am.. (NOT ME)
I just look at my food log and think "So much for watching my carb intake.." but the scale this morning says I haven't gained anything. I hope it stays that way, and that the days of being really GOOD about my calorie intake will pay off. As well as my efforts to get some regular exercise in. I also did some ab exercises last night (certified preggo safe ab exercises!) because by the end of the day yesterday my stomach muscles felt so strained it was all I could do to sit up. That's definitely not good. It was really uncomfortable and I don't want to feel that way every day with it just getting worse the bigger my belly gets.
Speaking of exercise... I really need to get to Target and get some bigger workout pants, and some just regular maternity t-shirts.. none of my workout pants fit anymore. It's no bueno.
6/20/11
Blog Slacker..
That should be my new official title as a human being! Because I'm a total blog slacker!! Yay!!
I did not count calories at all Saturday or Sunday, and that probably means I epic failed... especially after the 4 slices of pizza I ate last night.. and the movie theatre popcorn.. and the buncha crunch.. and having "dinner" at the baseball game Saturday night... you get the picture.
So let's catch up on Weds-Fri!
Weds. 6/15:
I did not count calories at all Saturday or Sunday, and that probably means I epic failed... especially after the 4 slices of pizza I ate last night.. and the movie theatre popcorn.. and the buncha crunch.. and having "dinner" at the baseball game Saturday night... you get the picture.
So let's catch up on Weds-Fri!
Weds. 6/15:
- net calories: 2'072
- breakfast: Life cereal w/ milk and raw almonds
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, fiber one bar, grande decaf mocha frapp (my calories would have been like 1600 if not for this EVIL BEVERAGE)
- lunch: cottage cheese w/ fresh berries, romaine salad w/ yogurt ceasar dressing
- dinner: homemade bison burgers with baked beans
- 30 minute walk (yay!)
- 11pm lights out
Thurs. 6/16:
- net calories: 2'084 - it was the morning donut and all the sweets at my sister's play during intermission that killed this one. Otherwise I would have been golden.
- breakfast: Life cereal w/ milk... and a chocolate glazed donut -.-
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, trail mix bar, sweets at the play
- lunch: half a chipotle vegetarian burrito bol
- dinner: some cheese fries from Silver Diner - okay, granted, this was not the HEALTHIEST choice, but the calorie intake from this was actually right around 400 calories, which is totally not bad. Plus Silver Diner's entire menu is organic, so that helps. Sort of.
- 30 minute walk - I got a pedometer for my iphone so now I know exactly how far I'm walking and how many calories I'm burning, yay! 1.5 miles/188 calories - this is netted into my calories listed at the top.
- 12am lights out - eesh!
Fri. 6/17:
- net calories: 2'300 - the lack of exercise and consumption of shirley temples after dinner is what got me this time. Without the sodas I would have stayed at about 1900.
- breakfast: oatmeal - FINALLY SOME HEALTHY BREAKFAST! lol
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, shirley temples
- lunch: baked turkey rueben w/ fries - really delicious, not greasy at all.. without the fries this would have been a perfectly healthy lunch
- dinner: JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE, BITCHES!! delicious steak and shrimp and tons of veggies, plus I took home leftovers so overall not too bad. As I said, it was the 500 calories worth of soda and grenadine that killed me.
- no exercise
- 1am bedtime - hey, at least I'm finally able to stay up past 9:30 on weekends again!
So, as I said, I didn't count any calories over the weekend... but I'm back on track today. Reading my Dr. Oz baby book makes me feel really guilty about putting junk into my body.. I got all depressed over it last night, but I'm doing the best I can. Tomorrow morning I'm hoping to be able to get out of bed on time so I can hop on the scale and make sure I haven't already gained another 5lbs in the last 2 weeks. This whole warning of "watch the carb intake" has kind of gone out the window.. I live on carbs. It's true. I try to keep those HEALTHY carbs though! like fruits, whole grains, etc... anyways. Kind of scared to see how that's gonna go. However, in the last 2 weeks I have noticed my belly starting to "pop" and I feel like I've shed some back fat.. Attractive. I know. I guess we'll just see tomorrow!
6/15/11
Taking advantage of the weather
The title of this post is something that I've been TRYING to do but have kind of been unsuccessful at thus far. Today is going to be the last nice day before the rain moves in and the heat and humidity return. I did NOT get my walk in yesterday and I'm a little upset with myself for that. Today I'm definitely getting it done because it is supposed to be 75, sunny and NO HUMIDITY!! Perfect day for a walk.
Mike told me this morning that I was looking thinner - I'm hoping that keeping my calories under control and trying to get those daily walks in are paying off. If I didn't have so much extra padding on my tummy I'm pretty sure I'd be actually "showing" by now. Instead I still feel like I just look fat.
Yesterday was a bit of a calorie fail thanks to my poor choice of sandwich at Subway. Normally I go with the turkey breast... and either 6" or footlong is a pretty good choice, the 6" especially.. well, yesterday I gave in to my baby cravings and went with the Spicy Italian. Footlong. Knocking me back about 1'000 for lunch. Not including my little bag of baked lays. The original idea was to save the second half for later... obviously that didn't happen. Had I squeezed my walk in, I could have brought my net calories down to my 2'000 max mark. Another reason I'm pretty disappointed in myself.
Stats for 6/14/11:
Mike told me this morning that I was looking thinner - I'm hoping that keeping my calories under control and trying to get those daily walks in are paying off. If I didn't have so much extra padding on my tummy I'm pretty sure I'd be actually "showing" by now. Instead I still feel like I just look fat.
Yesterday was a bit of a calorie fail thanks to my poor choice of sandwich at Subway. Normally I go with the turkey breast... and either 6" or footlong is a pretty good choice, the 6" especially.. well, yesterday I gave in to my baby cravings and went with the Spicy Italian. Footlong. Knocking me back about 1'000 for lunch. Not including my little bag of baked lays. The original idea was to save the second half for later... obviously that didn't happen. Had I squeezed my walk in, I could have brought my net calories down to my 2'000 max mark. Another reason I'm pretty disappointed in myself.
Stats for 6/14/11:
- net calories: 2'200
- breakfast: oatmeal w/ splash of milk
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, 100 calorie bag of Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn, wheat thins
- lunch: footlong spicy italian sub w/ baked lays and unsweetened tea
- dinner: 3oz. of steak w/ red potatoes tossed in olive oil and rosemary, and two small slices of bagette
- no exercise
- 11pm lights out
6/14/11
Weekend Wrap-up
This weekend was kind of a bust on food choices. I stayed under my 2'000 calorie mark - but those were definitely NOT nutrient dense calories. Instead they were filled with pizza, chinese food, movie theatre soft pretzels and soda. And I definitely felt like crap yesterday because of it. And then decided to add some Taco Bell on top of that... definitely not the most brilliant idea ever since Taco Bell has consistently made my stomach freak out since I got pregnant. I even PACKED MY LUNCH yesterday so that I could still go out to lunch with my co-workers, but avoid eating that toxic junk.. but I caved right before we left the office because a bean burrito sounded SO GOOD. It was not. It didn't taste as good as I wanted it to at all. It was actually really close to just being gross. I may have to challenge myself to 30 days of no fast food... and as soon as I typed that I started thinking how delicious Arby's would be. Which probably means I should DEFINITELY challenge myself to 30 days fast-food-free. I'll think on that today.. but I will really need Mike's support in that because he is a total fast food junkie.
I'm not going to do stats for the weekend since I stayed under my calorie mark even though it was a bunch of junk food - but I will say I did lots of walking! I'm going to research some pedometer apps this afternoon for my phone, and maybe splurge the $0.99 for a good one, since I always have my phone in my pocket.
Stats for 6/13/11:
I'm not going to do stats for the weekend since I stayed under my calorie mark even though it was a bunch of junk food - but I will say I did lots of walking! I'm going to research some pedometer apps this afternoon for my phone, and maybe splurge the $0.99 for a good one, since I always have my phone in my pocket.
Stats for 6/13/11:
- net calories: 1'727
- breakfast: oatmeal w/ a splash of milk, kiwifruit
- am/pm snacks: fiber one bar, apples w/ peanut butter, cottage cheese w/ fresh blueberries and strawberries
- lunch: soft taco and a bean burrito, 12oz of Mountain Dew (which I probably have no business drinking to begin with)
- dinner: leftover kung pao shrimp w/ brown rice, 2 crab rangoons
- exercise: 30 minute walk after lunch
- 11pm lights out
So, when I got back to the office after lunch/walking.. I had this really bizarre "attack" of sorts. I got incredibly fatigued all of a sudden, so fatigued that even just typing felt like the hardest thing I'd ever had to do... and then I broke out into this cold sweat all over my body, but I felt too hot all at the same time.. and then I started feeling like I was having a panic attack but when I checked my pulse I could hardly feel it, which made me think my blood pressure was actually DROPPING not rising like it would normally do during a panic attack. The drop in blood pressure would also explain my out-of-nowhere exhaustion. And all of this happened after I had eaten 3 sour patch kids.. which makes me think I somehow eff'd up my blood sugar. I'm a little terrified of gestational diabetes, especially since I'm SO overweight right now. But I had a glucose test run last month and that came up normal as far as I'm aware.. so I'm wondering if maybe this was just some kind of weird mental thing. I DID however manage to totally dehydrate myself Friday night, and THAT was a little scary... we went to a minor league baseball game with some friends and it was SO HOT outside, and I definitely did not drink enough water.. and when we got home I felt like I might puke and die. After drinking two giant glasses of water I felt much better though.
I guess I'm not really used to my body being so incredibly sensitive to things.. I never got this way when I was pregnant with James, but I think a lot of that was because I was SO young and in pretty good shape and your body can take a lot more abuse if it's healthier. All of this is just really inspiring me to work that much harder throughout the rest of my pregnancy and after the baby is born to get fit and stay fit. I'm really hoping any postpartum depression won't completely derail that. I had a little bit after James was born, and there were a couple months were it was pretty extreme and I packed on about 20 pounds. Where I am right now I can't afford that.. not emotionally, not physically, and not financially.
6/10/11
I've screwed myself
by taking 2 months off from working out... I understand that I've had a pretty legit excuse this whole time, but I am SO OUT AND OF SHAPE right now. I did an hour of prenatal yoga Wednesday night and it kicked my butt. That is really sad because it was about 25% of the intensity of a "normal" yoga workout for me. But the point is: I DID IT. There was definitely a big part of me that just wanted to give up half-way through because I was so mad at myself for huffing and puffing my way through it... that part of me wanted to never do that workout again.. but I sternly reminded myself that if I don't keep it up then I just continue to feel as out of shape as I do now. I just hate that feeling of starting completely over... which ties in to that anger with myself for ever stopping good habits to begin with - I'm talking from back in high school and stuff. I think to myself, "I used to do 100 crunches, 50 squats and 30 wall push-ups every morning before I got dressed. Why did I stop doing that?" Obviously life is a little different now... I honestly don't think there's even room in my current bedroom to lie down and do crunches...plus that was before I worked full time, and before I was married with kids, etc, etc.
Exercise woes aside, I've done a really excellent job with my eating the last few days! Tons of fruits and veggies, very few extra calories. I'm pretty proud of myself.
Stats for 6/8/11:
Exercise woes aside, I've done a really excellent job with my eating the last few days! Tons of fruits and veggies, very few extra calories. I'm pretty proud of myself.
Stats for 6/8/11:
- net calories: 1'900
- breakfast: oatmeal, apples w/ peanut butter
- am/pm snacks: nectarine, 1 oz. sharp cheddar, fiber one bar, Smartfood white cheddar popcorn, handful of sour patch kids, apple/raspberry juice, strawberries, green grapes
- lunch: turkey sandwich on whole wheat w/ cheddar and mustard and kettle chips at home
- dinner: tortilla soup at mom's
- late night: cereal - I was STARVING before bed
- exercise: 1 hour of yoga
- 11pm lights out
6/9/11:
- net calories: 1'712
- breakfast: oatmeal, kiwi
- am/pm snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, green grapes, granola bar, 1oz. sharp cheddar, tropical juice
- lunch: turkey sandwich on flax & fiber bread w/ cheese and mustard, baked lays, cottage cheese w/ fresh blueberries and strawberries
- dinner: homemade grilled chicken cesar wraps on whole wheat tortillas (SO GOOD)
- exercise: 45 minutes at the pool, 20 of which was spent doing some actual laps
- midnight lights out (a liiiittle tired today, not gonna lie)
I'm thinking about downloading a pedometer app to my iphone to see how much I'm walking just regularly during the day. I've starting making it a point to park across the parking lot at work and toward the back of the lot whenever I go to Target, the grocery store, etc... this way I figure even if I can't get an actual walk-for-exercise walk in, I've gotten a decent amount of actual steps during the day to boost that metabolism.
Tonight I'm going out to either a baseball game or bowling for a friend's birthday so I will prob end up eating like crap, but it's okay to have some splurges here and there. I'm going to try to get at least a 15 minute walk in before we leave for that, if it's not too hot... the weather has been sweltering here the last couple weeks and that makes this pregnant lady feel like she's gonna die if I get my heart rate up too high while outside in the heat! Gotta be careful of that.. hopefully a couple months of regular exercise and I won't feel that way.
6/8/11
Headed in the right direction - I think
Sorry it's been quite a while since my last update. I think I'm finally getting back on track... it certainly helped on Monday at my doctor's appointment when I weighed in at 209... that would be 5 lbs more than where I was at my PREVIOUS doctor's appointment only 4 weeks earlier. So far I've gained 8 of the maximum of 15lbs my doctor wants me to gain throughout my entire pregnancy... so I was (politely) warned to start counting calories and to watch my carb intake. YAY FOR BEING FAT!!
So I'm going to start posting my tracking here again, sans the smoking and alcoholic beverages counters.. obv.
My second trimester daily calorie goal is: 2'000 - from what I can figure this should be about right... I should be eating about 200-300 calories a day more than I normally would. Since my previous caloric goals have ranged.. well... kind of all over the place... I'm gonna go with what I would IDEALLY be consuming on a daily basis, which would be right around 1'750.
My daily exercise goal is: 30 mins. - whether that be walking, yoga, general calisthenics, vigorous household chores, etc. I need to be getting 30 mins a day in at the least. This will also help with my weight control. Obviously.
Everything else kind of comes together on its own - such as bedtimes. There are rarely times that I can force myself to stay awake past 11pm these days. That's okay by me.
Yesterday I did very well:
So I'm going to start posting my tracking here again, sans the smoking and alcoholic beverages counters.. obv.
My second trimester daily calorie goal is: 2'000 - from what I can figure this should be about right... I should be eating about 200-300 calories a day more than I normally would. Since my previous caloric goals have ranged.. well... kind of all over the place... I'm gonna go with what I would IDEALLY be consuming on a daily basis, which would be right around 1'750.
My daily exercise goal is: 30 mins. - whether that be walking, yoga, general calisthenics, vigorous household chores, etc. I need to be getting 30 mins a day in at the least. This will also help with my weight control. Obviously.
Everything else kind of comes together on its own - such as bedtimes. There are rarely times that I can force myself to stay awake past 11pm these days. That's okay by me.
Yesterday I did very well:
- total calories: 1'778
- breakfast: high fiber cinnamon oatmeal w/ 1/4 cup of milk
- am/pm snacks: pistachios, green grapes, wheat thins, Fiber One granola bar, 1oz. cheddar cheese, Wegmans brand cinnamon toast crunch
- lunch: turkey sandwich on whole wheat with kettle chips, granola bar
- dinner: Asiago cheese tortellini Lean Cuinsine
- no traditional exercise, parked in the back of the lot at Wegmans and power-walked through my hour of grocery shopping. I feel okay about that.
- 11pm lights out
I will post today's stats later tonight.
6/3/11
Best Abs Ever?
When I'm not preggo anymore... I'm trying this one. Definitely worth a shot.
5/30/11
I don't want to speak too soon... but
I think my cravings and tolerance for healthy snacks/meals is coming back. I have cooked every night this week! I am so proud of that accomplishment. Plus I have almost completed all the organizing and room-cleaning-out that I wanted to get done... and I may just be rewarding myself with that iPhone I've been wanting. I think that's fair. Accomplish more than I've managed to accomplish since moving into my house = deserving of an iPhone. Plus the whole planning meals and cooking dinner every night thing. That is so awesome of me. Plus it makes me feel so much better about myself as a wife and mother, that I can provide my family more than processing junk food for a meal in the evenings. I even cooked bacon and eggs for LUNCH the other day. That's right. I'm a regular June Cleaver over here.
Yesterday at the book store I picked up Dr. Oz's book, YOU: Having A Baby. It is seriously the most amazing book. I don't think I'll ever go back to "What to Expect" after this. I think after the baby comes I may get his YOU: On a Diet book as well. It certainly can't hurt anything. I love Dr. Oz. I really do. I think he's amazing and I love his holistic approach to almost all things medical. It's fantastic!
I wanted to talk a little bit about feeling the pain over not being able to drink alcohol and socialize with my friends in the same way I used to. It really hit me last Saturday night at a friend's housewarming party. Going to parties while pregnant kind of sucks big fat donkey toe.. but I think the main reason is because I feel like other people are judging me, not so much that I'm judging myself. Plus there's that whole "who am I if I don't have a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other?" thing. I came to a bit of an epiphany the other night while wallowing in some pretty serious depression... I don't think I ever really figured out who I was after James was born. I just knew I was not who I was BEFORE him anymore... but I never really took the time to figure out what that meant or how I should proceed through life from that point. There are a lot of little things that have changed, a lot of emotional growth that has happened (as well as body growth - I mean, HELLO - what is this blog mostly about?)... a lot of my views on relationships and what it means to be an adult have changed... but that is not the whole of what makes a person who they are. This is something that I imagine will probably take a while for me to figure out. I also find myself feeling like, for the first time in my life, I'm doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing - got married, bought a house, having a baby, working toward an actual career, learning how to effectively parent the child I already have - and sometimes I feel like this does not make me happy, and I'm not really sure where it says that doing the things you're supposed to do will make you happy but I feel like that's a pretty general societal consensus. Sometimes I struggle with wondering if I actually WANT these things or if I just have convinced myself I want them because I'm SUPPOSED to want them. It's all very tricky. I've been considering starting some counseling to help me work through these things because I definitely know I'm tired of hating myself all the time, and I definitely am starting to unbiasedly see how it's effecting my marriage and my relationship with my son. That self-hate has a lot to do with not taking the time to figure out who I was/wanted to be after becoming a mother and being forced into this kind of false sense of adulthood at such a young age. I think realizing and acknowledging those things is a pretty positive first step.
Please know, dear readers, that I'm not consistently wallowing really - I manage to keep myself feeling pretty "normal" most of the time, but there are some nights when I just break down and the emotional overflow gets pretty out of control - and if there's any kind of argument, small or otherwise, it sets off this whole "everyone hates me and the way I act" feeling which them just makes me realize that no one hates me, I just don't like myself very much and that shades the way I perceive anything anyone might say to me during high-emotion discussions or arguments - ie: anything Mike says to me during said discussions or arguments.
Edit: I started writing this post 5 days ago and since that time I have ordered my iPhone and I'm VERY EXCITED about that. It should be here Wednesday. For now I'm going to enjoy the rest of the my Holiday with a nap on the couch and plenty of historical programming on History channel and History Channel International.
Yesterday at the book store I picked up Dr. Oz's book, YOU: Having A Baby. It is seriously the most amazing book. I don't think I'll ever go back to "What to Expect" after this. I think after the baby comes I may get his YOU: On a Diet book as well. It certainly can't hurt anything. I love Dr. Oz. I really do. I think he's amazing and I love his holistic approach to almost all things medical. It's fantastic!
I wanted to talk a little bit about feeling the pain over not being able to drink alcohol and socialize with my friends in the same way I used to. It really hit me last Saturday night at a friend's housewarming party. Going to parties while pregnant kind of sucks big fat donkey toe.. but I think the main reason is because I feel like other people are judging me, not so much that I'm judging myself. Plus there's that whole "who am I if I don't have a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other?" thing. I came to a bit of an epiphany the other night while wallowing in some pretty serious depression... I don't think I ever really figured out who I was after James was born. I just knew I was not who I was BEFORE him anymore... but I never really took the time to figure out what that meant or how I should proceed through life from that point. There are a lot of little things that have changed, a lot of emotional growth that has happened (as well as body growth - I mean, HELLO - what is this blog mostly about?)... a lot of my views on relationships and what it means to be an adult have changed... but that is not the whole of what makes a person who they are. This is something that I imagine will probably take a while for me to figure out. I also find myself feeling like, for the first time in my life, I'm doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing - got married, bought a house, having a baby, working toward an actual career, learning how to effectively parent the child I already have - and sometimes I feel like this does not make me happy, and I'm not really sure where it says that doing the things you're supposed to do will make you happy but I feel like that's a pretty general societal consensus. Sometimes I struggle with wondering if I actually WANT these things or if I just have convinced myself I want them because I'm SUPPOSED to want them. It's all very tricky. I've been considering starting some counseling to help me work through these things because I definitely know I'm tired of hating myself all the time, and I definitely am starting to unbiasedly see how it's effecting my marriage and my relationship with my son. That self-hate has a lot to do with not taking the time to figure out who I was/wanted to be after becoming a mother and being forced into this kind of false sense of adulthood at such a young age. I think realizing and acknowledging those things is a pretty positive first step.
Please know, dear readers, that I'm not consistently wallowing really - I manage to keep myself feeling pretty "normal" most of the time, but there are some nights when I just break down and the emotional overflow gets pretty out of control - and if there's any kind of argument, small or otherwise, it sets off this whole "everyone hates me and the way I act" feeling which them just makes me realize that no one hates me, I just don't like myself very much and that shades the way I perceive anything anyone might say to me during high-emotion discussions or arguments - ie: anything Mike says to me during said discussions or arguments.
Edit: I started writing this post 5 days ago and since that time I have ordered my iPhone and I'm VERY EXCITED about that. It should be here Wednesday. For now I'm going to enjoy the rest of the my Holiday with a nap on the couch and plenty of historical programming on History channel and History Channel International.
5/24/11
A beautiful thing. Right.
I understand that pregnancy is a true life miracle.. it IS a beautiful thing. But I feel less-than-beautiful these days. I feel fat and out of shape and am still struggling with the energy thing.
I finally went grocery shopping for the first time in about a month last Wednesday and have made a much bigger effort to cook every night. I'm trying really hard to make better lunch choices. The healthier eating makes for less queasiness. This is kind of a "duh" moment, I'm aware. I'm still really wary of salad, though. And that makes me super sad because I LOVE salad. Puking up the last salad I ate to the point of feeling like I wanted/was going to die has kind of turned me off.. just a tad. I think I will try to make some pasta salad sometime this week or this weekend. I think that will be a doable alternative - I'll get my raw veggie fix but with enough carb to keep it down.
Those of you who are friends with me on the Book of Faces are probably realizing my growing obsession with purchasing an iPhone. I've somehow managed to convince myself that with an iPhone my goal of getting healthy and getting back down to healthier weight will somehow magically become easier with all the fancy apps that will become available to me. No one can unconvince me of this. I'm feeling kind of desperate right now. I'm incredibly disappointed in myself. I feel like maybe I spoke a little bit about this in my last post, but I'm revisiting so.. get over it.
I went off my birth control pill at the very end of last July. I started (or re-started, I should say, since I've been wanting it since about 2006) the "Jessica Hotness Plan" in early September. At this point I would say I was probably close to 220lbs. I liked to pretend I was only at about 212, but I had a shitty scale that I'm sure was LYING TO ME. Okay, so.. basically.. I KNEW I'd be getting pregnant since I had quit my BC - I mean, that was the point right? But I knew I really needed to lose some poundage before that happened... managed to drop down to about 196... I wanted to get under 185. Apparently I didn't want it bad enough. I'm going to be totally honest: I'm a lazy fuck. I at no point pushed myself as hard as I should have or held myself accountable to the extent I needed to. I fucked with my calorie count every couple weeks to try to allow myself as much cheating room as possible, I made a million excuses every day as to why I didn't or "couldn't" exercise.. and once I did get on an awesome routine at the gym, go figure, that's when I found out I was preggo and within a couple weeks started feeling like I was going to puke my guts up all the time. That puts a huge damper on any kind of exercise ethic you might have, just FYI. Plus that weight-lifting routine that was doing my body some DAMN AWESOME good... well, that's out the window since you can't lift anything over 15lbs while you're preggo.
Basically it all kind of boils down to: my body image is shit right now. I don't want to hear all the "you're pregnant, you're supposed to be fat" comments... I'm not supposed to be fat. I'm supposed to be pregnant. There's a difference. It doesn't help much that I'm in that terrible stage of not quite looking pregnant yet.. but just looking like I've totally lost my waist. And because of my total lack of motivation my arms have become completely flabby just in time for tank-top season. And in time to wear a strapless dress for a wedding in July. YAY!
More than anything right now, though, I'd like to complete some much needed housework. I'm hoping to start that project this afternoon after work. Hopefully my child will allow me to accomplish this without WWIII breaking out. That would be lovely. But may be asking too much. Things I'd like to accomplish:
I finally went grocery shopping for the first time in about a month last Wednesday and have made a much bigger effort to cook every night. I'm trying really hard to make better lunch choices. The healthier eating makes for less queasiness. This is kind of a "duh" moment, I'm aware. I'm still really wary of salad, though. And that makes me super sad because I LOVE salad. Puking up the last salad I ate to the point of feeling like I wanted/was going to die has kind of turned me off.. just a tad. I think I will try to make some pasta salad sometime this week or this weekend. I think that will be a doable alternative - I'll get my raw veggie fix but with enough carb to keep it down.
Those of you who are friends with me on the Book of Faces are probably realizing my growing obsession with purchasing an iPhone. I've somehow managed to convince myself that with an iPhone my goal of getting healthy and getting back down to healthier weight will somehow magically become easier with all the fancy apps that will become available to me. No one can unconvince me of this. I'm feeling kind of desperate right now. I'm incredibly disappointed in myself. I feel like maybe I spoke a little bit about this in my last post, but I'm revisiting so.. get over it.
I went off my birth control pill at the very end of last July. I started (or re-started, I should say, since I've been wanting it since about 2006) the "Jessica Hotness Plan" in early September. At this point I would say I was probably close to 220lbs. I liked to pretend I was only at about 212, but I had a shitty scale that I'm sure was LYING TO ME. Okay, so.. basically.. I KNEW I'd be getting pregnant since I had quit my BC - I mean, that was the point right? But I knew I really needed to lose some poundage before that happened... managed to drop down to about 196... I wanted to get under 185. Apparently I didn't want it bad enough. I'm going to be totally honest: I'm a lazy fuck. I at no point pushed myself as hard as I should have or held myself accountable to the extent I needed to. I fucked with my calorie count every couple weeks to try to allow myself as much cheating room as possible, I made a million excuses every day as to why I didn't or "couldn't" exercise.. and once I did get on an awesome routine at the gym, go figure, that's when I found out I was preggo and within a couple weeks started feeling like I was going to puke my guts up all the time. That puts a huge damper on any kind of exercise ethic you might have, just FYI. Plus that weight-lifting routine that was doing my body some DAMN AWESOME good... well, that's out the window since you can't lift anything over 15lbs while you're preggo.
Basically it all kind of boils down to: my body image is shit right now. I don't want to hear all the "you're pregnant, you're supposed to be fat" comments... I'm not supposed to be fat. I'm supposed to be pregnant. There's a difference. It doesn't help much that I'm in that terrible stage of not quite looking pregnant yet.. but just looking like I've totally lost my waist. And because of my total lack of motivation my arms have become completely flabby just in time for tank-top season. And in time to wear a strapless dress for a wedding in July. YAY!
More than anything right now, though, I'd like to complete some much needed housework. I'm hoping to start that project this afternoon after work. Hopefully my child will allow me to accomplish this without WWIII breaking out. That would be lovely. But may be asking too much. Things I'd like to accomplish:
- cleaning out my closet and dresser drawers
- getting all the laundry (clean and dirty) out of the floor by my side of the bed
- rearrange the furniture to accommodate either my chest of drawers or bookshelf both currently living in what will need to be the baby's room
- clean out said chest of drawers and closet in soon-to-be nursery
- find place for the giant hamper and if not possible get smaller hamper
- clean out 4th bedroom and actually utilize for office space - possible place for the giant hamper
- VACUUM UPSTAIRS HALLWAYS AND ROOMS (I'm completely serious when I say it's easily been 6 months since this was done thoroughly... or at all even)
- pack up James' winter clothes and put his summer stuff in his drawers
- clean out the top of James' closet - pack away clothes that are too small currently living there
That's a good starting point. We need to seriously consider having the carpet replaced in the living room and basement... as well as tearing up the crapitastic tiling job done in our foyer and kitchen by the previous owners and laying down some nice laminate.
5/17/11
An attempted return
Well, I don't know that I can honestly call myself a "blogger" anymore. I've been seriously slacking. There have been many things that I've wanted to post about but by the time I have a chance to do it I either can't remember or don't have the energy to do it.
I had my first doctor's appointment a few weeks ago and weighed in at 204lbs after having eaten breakfast and a morning snack and with all my clothes on and all my usual crap in my pockets. Not bad. I'm figuring first-thing-in-the-morning-butt-naked weight is probably around 200 or 201. I can live with that. The Doc said they really don't want me to gain more than 15lbs during the pregnancy because I'm a good deal overweight to start with. I had my 2nd appointment a week ago and hadn't gained anything so I'm hoping keeping at or under that 15lbs mark will be easier than it seems like it should be.
What I wanted to post about is: I was home sick last week and watched Food Inc. on Netflix instant... and it was amazing. I also found out that there is a farm just 2 hours from here that raises grass-fed beef, free-range chickens, and free-range pork and they come to the Farmer's market in Occoquan. I'm VERY excited about this. I really would love to just go totally organic for a month or so and see if our budget can handle it and see how differently I'll feel.
My "morning" sickness finally seems to be subsiding a little bit and my appetite is almost back to normal. There are still moments of "ohmygod I'm a gonna puke" but they are fewer and far between... my main gripe right now is that I feel like I'm dying of thirst all the time and I'm exhausted. Also: I feel fat all the time. lol. I hope that by the end of this month I'll be feeling well enough and have enough energy to get my 30mins/day of exercise in. I got a prenatal yoga dvd but I've been working a LOT and James is struggling with some sort of brat phase and it's just about all I can do to feed myself and get into bed once I get home from work. It sucks. I hate feeling like this.
On a really great note, though: Mike has been exercising 6 days a week and has started watching what he's eating a little bit more and that's awesome. Honestly, I think maybe I'm kind of just waiting for that miracle breast-feeding weight-loss to happen this winter... maybe that's a bad plan to have. It probably is. I'm kind of regularly feeling pretty down on myself for not working a little harder and doing a little better to get this extra weight off before getting pregnant. Obviously there's nothing that can be done about that now, and obviously a person can't really diet while pregnant... but I could be doing more than I am doing. So part of me is like "instead of beating yourself up about not working harder BEFORE, how about you just focus on working hard now and being as healthy as you can be" - which is totally true and right. But then that other part is thinking I'll just lose a million pounds if I breastfeed... but I feel like that's lazy because honestly there is no guarantee that will work out. Plus I'm only home for 8 weeks after the baby comes and just depending on how things go I may have to go ahead and wean when I go back to work.
Isn't this all awesome reading for you menfolk that follow out there? lol
All in all I'm just pretty ecstatic I don't feel like throwing up all over myself all the time anymore, and I'm glad I haven't already gained like 20lbs and right now I need to just count my blessings for that.
I'm planning on updating more often now, but it will mostly be baby stuff and less "this is what I'm eating and this is the exercise I'm doing" stuff.
I had my first doctor's appointment a few weeks ago and weighed in at 204lbs after having eaten breakfast and a morning snack and with all my clothes on and all my usual crap in my pockets. Not bad. I'm figuring first-thing-in-the-morning-butt-naked weight is probably around 200 or 201. I can live with that. The Doc said they really don't want me to gain more than 15lbs during the pregnancy because I'm a good deal overweight to start with. I had my 2nd appointment a week ago and hadn't gained anything so I'm hoping keeping at or under that 15lbs mark will be easier than it seems like it should be.
What I wanted to post about is: I was home sick last week and watched Food Inc. on Netflix instant... and it was amazing. I also found out that there is a farm just 2 hours from here that raises grass-fed beef, free-range chickens, and free-range pork and they come to the Farmer's market in Occoquan. I'm VERY excited about this. I really would love to just go totally organic for a month or so and see if our budget can handle it and see how differently I'll feel.
My "morning" sickness finally seems to be subsiding a little bit and my appetite is almost back to normal. There are still moments of "ohmygod I'm a gonna puke" but they are fewer and far between... my main gripe right now is that I feel like I'm dying of thirst all the time and I'm exhausted. Also: I feel fat all the time. lol. I hope that by the end of this month I'll be feeling well enough and have enough energy to get my 30mins/day of exercise in. I got a prenatal yoga dvd but I've been working a LOT and James is struggling with some sort of brat phase and it's just about all I can do to feed myself and get into bed once I get home from work. It sucks. I hate feeling like this.
On a really great note, though: Mike has been exercising 6 days a week and has started watching what he's eating a little bit more and that's awesome. Honestly, I think maybe I'm kind of just waiting for that miracle breast-feeding weight-loss to happen this winter... maybe that's a bad plan to have. It probably is. I'm kind of regularly feeling pretty down on myself for not working a little harder and doing a little better to get this extra weight off before getting pregnant. Obviously there's nothing that can be done about that now, and obviously a person can't really diet while pregnant... but I could be doing more than I am doing. So part of me is like "instead of beating yourself up about not working harder BEFORE, how about you just focus on working hard now and being as healthy as you can be" - which is totally true and right. But then that other part is thinking I'll just lose a million pounds if I breastfeed... but I feel like that's lazy because honestly there is no guarantee that will work out. Plus I'm only home for 8 weeks after the baby comes and just depending on how things go I may have to go ahead and wean when I go back to work.
Isn't this all awesome reading for you menfolk that follow out there? lol
All in all I'm just pretty ecstatic I don't feel like throwing up all over myself all the time anymore, and I'm glad I haven't already gained like 20lbs and right now I need to just count my blessings for that.
I'm planning on updating more often now, but it will mostly be baby stuff and less "this is what I'm eating and this is the exercise I'm doing" stuff.
4/21/11
I did great until the ice cream
Yesterday I had a pretty awesome day - I didn't really feel sick hardly at all and was able to consume massive amounts of fruit as well as having some homemade tacos for dinner (full of protein). I did have a reuben sandwich for lunch, but from what I could find the calories on that weren't so terrible - especially since I only ate about half of it. So I'm going about my business, logging my food for the day - I get everything entered, I'm right on track coming in at just under 2'000 calories for the day... and then I remember... I took James for ice cream after daycare... I had a double scoop of baskin robbins mint chocolate chip. FAIL. Although that did give me my calcium intake for the DAY. Always look on the bright side right?
On the calcium thing, this actually is really good - I've been avoiding milk like the plague because the thought of drinking it makes me really ill, and I think yesterday is probably the first day I actually reached my calcium goal in almost 3 weeks. Thank goodness for supplements.
Stats for 4/20:
On the calcium thing, this actually is really good - I've been avoiding milk like the plague because the thought of drinking it makes me really ill, and I think yesterday is probably the first day I actually reached my calcium goal in almost 3 weeks. Thank goodness for supplements.
Stats for 4/20:
- total calories: 2'500. Again.
- no workout, but I did take James to the playground. I thought about going to the gym since I was feeling somewhat normal, but it was so nice outside and I've been feeling so crappy and James has gotten to do little other than zone out in front of the television after school these days... I decided to opt for being a good parent instead of physical fitness.
- $12 between lunch and ice cream
- 11pm bedtime
4/20/11
Soda is the devil
just a little bit. I would have stayed on track with my calories yesterday if it weren't for the coke that I drank with dinner last night... and since it was fountain soda (my FAVORITE) and I was at a restaurant where they just kept refilling... I drank about 4 cans worth. At least. Probably not good for my caffeine intake as well as calories, but I rarely drink caffeine so I'm not going to stress over it.
So I probably finally came close to meeting my nutritional needs yesterday for the first time in about 3 weeks even though I was SO SICK. I actually threw up yesterday morning. Isn't that awesome? Aren't you so glad I shared that with you? I ate tons of fruit though, and even managed to have a turkey sandwich (well half) for lunch before feeling like I was going to wretch all over again. Only 4 more weeks of this.. I hope.
Btw, I'm sure you all probably already figured, but I've been smoke free since March 25th. The idea is to keep this up forever, even after I don't "have" to.
Stats 4/19:
So I probably finally came close to meeting my nutritional needs yesterday for the first time in about 3 weeks even though I was SO SICK. I actually threw up yesterday morning. Isn't that awesome? Aren't you so glad I shared that with you? I ate tons of fruit though, and even managed to have a turkey sandwich (well half) for lunch before feeling like I was going to wretch all over again. Only 4 more weeks of this.. I hope.
Btw, I'm sure you all probably already figured, but I've been smoke free since March 25th. The idea is to keep this up forever, even after I don't "have" to.
Stats 4/19:
- total calories: 2500 - that's about 500 over where I want to be. I'm not trying to gain 60 pounds over the next 7 months.
- no exercise (this is bad, I need to start feeling better so I can at least start walking regularly)
- $15 spent on dinner out
- no idea what time I went to bed - Mike's decided to become an insomniac and so that means he wants to keep me up talking every night. Monday night I did go to bed at like 9:30, though. Because I'm awesome.
I'm trying really hard to not get depressed over the fact that just a couple short weeks ago I was going to the gym 3 days a week burning all kinds of crazy calories and eating awesome healthy food for nearly every meal and all my clothes were continuing to get baggier and baggier to the point where lots I simply could not really wear anymore... and now I'm eating as much bad-for-me high-in-fat uber junk food my little pudgy hands can wrap themselves around... my belly fat has increased immensely and I know some of that is probably from water retention from the large amount of junk food I've been consuming and the other part is because I'm performing the miracle of growing a person inside of me... but I just really wanted this to be like it was the first time round where I still could wear my regular clothes for like 4months, and even then when my belly got big the rest of me shrank... I have to wear a strapless dress for a wedding in July. A short, strapless dress. I want my arms to look awesome and my calves to look awesome. I want to be beautiful and glowing. Not fat and miserable and way-too-hot in the July sun. I want to be back in the gym Mon, Weds, Fri. Especially since my social life has completely tanked thanks to my inability to currently consume large amounts of alcohol... so really what else am I doing on Friday evening other than stuffing my face with chinese food and watching King of Queens reruns? Oh, and also - I'm really sick of hearing "You look tired." because all of us ladies know that "You look tired" really means "You look like shit".
There are moments of the day when I'm not feeling like I'm going to just vomit until my intestines come out my throat (lovely, eh?!) and I think to myself, "I'm going to do it - I'm going to go to the gym today. I'm just going to push through and DO IT." and then 4:30pm rolls around and the only thing I can imagine myself doing is putting my pajama pants on and taking a nap on my couch... and that's usually what I end up doing. And my poor kid is like, "Why do you have your jamas on already?" and I can just say, "Because I don't feel good." EVER. ANYMORE.
I know this part doesn't last forever, but I want it to not last at all. I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready to get back to my healthy habits because I'm afraid if this goes on much longer all those habits I worked so hard to create are going to be destroyed.
So that's kind of where I am mentally right now.
4/18/11
Laziness?
No, just pregnancy. That's right, folks, I've got a baby in my belly! And I'm in the throws of morning sickness every moment of every day... why do they call it MORNING sickness? It should be called 24-hours-a-day Sickness. Hence the whole... not blogging about food and exercise currently. I'm actually pretty disappointed in myself that I haven't kept up with my exercise, but it's kind of hard to do when all you want to do is throw up and pass out, wake, repeat.
The last few days I've felt a bit better - learning some tricks that keep me feeling somewhat close to "normal" throughout the day. I might try to hit the gym a couple times this week and see how it goes - my biggest deterrent however is the fact that drinking flat water in any kind of large amount makes me totally ill. And the gym is a big no-no without proper hydration. Especially now. The weather at least is supposed to be decent this week, so even if I don't make it to the gym maybe I can squeeze in a couple walks. We'll see how it goes.
My eating habits have completely tanked the last couple weeks. I feel sick just about all the time, and when I'm not sick I crave the junkiest food imaginable. It's almost always restaurant or fast food. So, not only am I destroying my healthy eating but I'm destroying my budget as well. Vegetables are a complete turn off for me right now - which is incredibly sad since salad is normally one of my staple food items. Certain fruits I can still tolerate... but even that is iffy at times. I'm eating a lot of burgers and fries these days. It's terrible. I'm hoping by the end of May I'll be out of this phase and able to get back on track with my eating again -- and be able to count calories without feeling like I need to vomit every time I log food.
Today I've actually done really well with food - so far I've had a banana, a fiber one muffin, two kiwis, an orange, and some cheese with triscuits. This has been an excellent food day both nausea-wise and healthy-eating-wise. I'm not gonna lie - I'm probably going to have some Five Guys for lunch because I've been craving it all weekend... but at least I'll get my iron in that way (hamburger)! I've also been craving things I can't eat... like sushi. But vegetarian rolls are an excellent alternative and I've decided I'd like to learn how to make then at home - it can't be THAT hard, can it? It doesn't really matter if they fall apart... has anyone made sushi rolls at home before?
The last few days I've felt a bit better - learning some tricks that keep me feeling somewhat close to "normal" throughout the day. I might try to hit the gym a couple times this week and see how it goes - my biggest deterrent however is the fact that drinking flat water in any kind of large amount makes me totally ill. And the gym is a big no-no without proper hydration. Especially now. The weather at least is supposed to be decent this week, so even if I don't make it to the gym maybe I can squeeze in a couple walks. We'll see how it goes.
My eating habits have completely tanked the last couple weeks. I feel sick just about all the time, and when I'm not sick I crave the junkiest food imaginable. It's almost always restaurant or fast food. So, not only am I destroying my healthy eating but I'm destroying my budget as well. Vegetables are a complete turn off for me right now - which is incredibly sad since salad is normally one of my staple food items. Certain fruits I can still tolerate... but even that is iffy at times. I'm eating a lot of burgers and fries these days. It's terrible. I'm hoping by the end of May I'll be out of this phase and able to get back on track with my eating again -- and be able to count calories without feeling like I need to vomit every time I log food.
Today I've actually done really well with food - so far I've had a banana, a fiber one muffin, two kiwis, an orange, and some cheese with triscuits. This has been an excellent food day both nausea-wise and healthy-eating-wise. I'm not gonna lie - I'm probably going to have some Five Guys for lunch because I've been craving it all weekend... but at least I'll get my iron in that way (hamburger)! I've also been craving things I can't eat... like sushi. But vegetarian rolls are an excellent alternative and I've decided I'd like to learn how to make then at home - it can't be THAT hard, can it? It doesn't really matter if they fall apart... has anyone made sushi rolls at home before?
4/8/11
Back on the bandwagon...
I'm going to start counting calories again for a little while. I feel like the last 2 weeks especially I've gotten way off track and I just need to steer myself back onto the right path - calorie counting for a couple weeks I think will definitely do that.
I'm setting my limit for 1900 - that's 300 calories more than what an ideal deficit would be. If I can keep up with my regular workouts this will be just where I need to be for all my current nutritional requirements.
My stomach has been all kinds of crazy this week and I feel like I'm dying of thirst all the time because drinking ginger ale is about the only thing that makes me feel normal... and soda is not incredibly hydrating. Especially when you're accustomed to drinking between 140 - 180 oz. of water a day. It's been pretty terrible, you guys. I drink a couple glasses of water and pretty much want to puke it all back up all over myself. This is also making it incredibly difficult to eat the whole foods, fruits, and vegetables I normally consume on a daily basis. The only things that have appealed to me are restaurant foods... or nothing at all except for crackers and/or cheerios.
I'm going to try to start posting again on a somewhat regular basis, but don't hold your breath or anything lol
I'm setting my limit for 1900 - that's 300 calories more than what an ideal deficit would be. If I can keep up with my regular workouts this will be just where I need to be for all my current nutritional requirements.
My stomach has been all kinds of crazy this week and I feel like I'm dying of thirst all the time because drinking ginger ale is about the only thing that makes me feel normal... and soda is not incredibly hydrating. Especially when you're accustomed to drinking between 140 - 180 oz. of water a day. It's been pretty terrible, you guys. I drink a couple glasses of water and pretty much want to puke it all back up all over myself. This is also making it incredibly difficult to eat the whole foods, fruits, and vegetables I normally consume on a daily basis. The only things that have appealed to me are restaurant foods... or nothing at all except for crackers and/or cheerios.
I'm going to try to start posting again on a somewhat regular basis, but don't hold your breath or anything lol
4/5/11
Hiatus
Hello loyal readers,
I just wanted to take a moment to say: a) I ate like total crap this weekend and it's no wonder I gained 1.6lbs in a week, and b) I may be taking a hiatus for this week, possibly next week too.
I want everyone to know that I packed my gym bag this morning with the best of intentions, but nausea is getting the better of me and the chances of my actually making it to the gym are slim to none. I will be very proud of myself if I do though.
I may pop in with a random update here or there, but I'm really not feeling up to posting anything about food... lol
Stay tuned!
I just wanted to take a moment to say: a) I ate like total crap this weekend and it's no wonder I gained 1.6lbs in a week, and b) I may be taking a hiatus for this week, possibly next week too.
I want everyone to know that I packed my gym bag this morning with the best of intentions, but nausea is getting the better of me and the chances of my actually making it to the gym are slim to none. I will be very proud of myself if I do though.
I may pop in with a random update here or there, but I'm really not feeling up to posting anything about food... lol
Stay tuned!
4/2/11
Avoiding the scale at all costs
This week and last week I have felt super awesome about my body and the awesome changes I'm seeing in my muscle tone and how it's completely changing the shape of my body for the better. My clothes have fit better - aside from most of my pants being way too big, my fitted shirts look awesome. I've felt pretty great about myself and have finally stopped obsessing over food and am focusing on making smart choices and eating only when I'm actually hungry, and not beating myself up over splurge food choices but just taking them for what they are: splurges. I'm back in the gym full force and loving my routine (even though I should probably throw a little more cardio in there). So all of these are wonderful, positive things and great feelings to enjoy and focus on right? Right. Until...
I stepped on the scale this morning and have gained a pound and a half. I know a lot of it could be water retention from the weight lifting I'm doing, plus the building of muscle tone under the fat I still have... but to get on the scale this morning and to see 198.6lbs - well that was really heart-breaking. I don't want to break that 200 pound mark again before my birthday since my birthday was supposed to be my deadline on this no-calorie-counting thing. I feel like I should have at least been able to maintain my 195lbs this whole time. Not gain 3 and a half pounds back.
I guess for now I'm just going to try really hard not to focus on that number and just focus on how I feel. I've also quit smoking (I'm a week in now and I'm confident!) and I've quit drinking (I think this will help tremendously if I can manage not to replace alcohol with soda). Let's just see how the next couple weeks progress.
I stepped on the scale this morning and have gained a pound and a half. I know a lot of it could be water retention from the weight lifting I'm doing, plus the building of muscle tone under the fat I still have... but to get on the scale this morning and to see 198.6lbs - well that was really heart-breaking. I don't want to break that 200 pound mark again before my birthday since my birthday was supposed to be my deadline on this no-calorie-counting thing. I feel like I should have at least been able to maintain my 195lbs this whole time. Not gain 3 and a half pounds back.
I guess for now I'm just going to try really hard not to focus on that number and just focus on how I feel. I've also quit smoking (I'm a week in now and I'm confident!) and I've quit drinking (I think this will help tremendously if I can manage not to replace alcohol with soda). Let's just see how the next couple weeks progress.
4/1/11
All kinds of proud
Not only have I stuck to my nutrition guidelines all week, but I made it to the gym THREE TIMES! Burning between 450-500 each go, I am pretty proud of myself.
Honestly, I cannot remember what I ate yesterday to save my life and I don't feel like going to search for my little piece of paper I logged my food on... also I'm tired and want to go to bed so this will be quick.
4/1:
Overall I'm super proud of myself and continue to see amazing changes in the shape of my body from the weight lifting I've been doing!
Sorry for the short post - weighing in tomorrow. Have a great Friday night!
Honestly, I cannot remember what I ate yesterday to save my life and I don't feel like going to search for my little piece of paper I logged my food on... also I'm tired and want to go to bed so this will be quick.
4/1:
- breakfast: english muffin w/ the usual spreads
- am snack: apples w/ peanut butter and a vanilla milk
- lunch: half a baja salad and a jr. hamburger from Wendy's - also a jr. frosty.
- pm snack: peanut butter/chocolate protein shake from the gym (post-workout)
- dinner: spaghetti w/ a slice of garlic bread
- one hour workout at the gym
- 0 cigarettes - one week smoke free
- $12 spent on lunch (bought Mike's lunch today too)
- shooting for 12:30am bedtime
Overall I'm super proud of myself and continue to see amazing changes in the shape of my body from the weight lifting I've been doing!
Sorry for the short post - weighing in tomorrow. Have a great Friday night!
3/30/11
...is it Weds already?
I sat down to post about 5 different times yesterday but kept getting sidelined but other things. Silly life getting in the way of my blogging...
Mon. 3/28:
Mon. 3/28:
- breakfast: whole wheat english muffin w/ earth balance and strawberry jam and 8oz of organic chocolate milk
- am snack: apples w/ peanut butter, wheat thins
- lunch: taco and bean burrito from Taco Bell w/ a small soda
- pm snack: fruit smoothie w/ whey protein (post workout)
- dinner: big salad w/ bell pepper, onion, mozz cheese, parmesan ranch dressing and a packet of Lean Cuisines garlic chicken spring rolls - delicious!!
- 1 hour workout
- 0 cigarettes
- $5 spent on lunch
- 12:30am bedtime - ugh
Tues. 3/29:
- breakfast: oatmeal w/ stevia, cinnamon, earth balance, and a splash of 2% milk
- am snacks: pears, raw almonds, wheat thins and an 8oz organic chocolate milk (Horizon sells their organic flavored milks in this little juicebox boxes - so convenient for work! I love them!)
- lunch: butter chicken (not sure why they call it that, it doesn't really taste like butter at all lol), basmati rice, curried potatoes, some kind of delicious pea/mushroom mix in this amazing sauce, naan bread from this little Indian place near work
- dinner: a big salad w/ the usual, a small serving of mom's frito chili pie - my belly was still a little full from lunch and my salad.
- pm snack: dark chocolate almond milk
- no workout
- 0 cigarettes
- $9 spent on lunch
- 12:30am bedtime.. again
I've had a little bit of insomnia going on the last few nights. I get really tired about 9, but I stay up until about 11 anyway and then by the time I do go to bed it's like I've caught a second wind or something and it takes me forever to settle down. Mike seems to be experiencing the same thing because once I finally do think I might fall asleep he starts talking to me about how he's not tired and blah blah blah... it's a vicious cycle!
I'm so tired today but I did pack my gym bag this morning and absolutely plan on hitting the gym after work today. I think it will make me feel better and hopefully will help me sleep better tonight. I've got to start getting up when my alarm goes off instead of hitting snooze for 30mins... this gloomy winter-like weather has definitely not been helping my morning efforts. It's almost April for chrissake!!!
I think we may go home for lunch today and I'm actually pretty excited about it because I'm really hungry for a pita pizza... for which I will post a little recipe for you here now:
Mini Pita Pizza
- 1 Kontos Pizza Parlor Crust (they're about the size of a regular sized pita, but made with olive oil so they have good fats! Plus 4g of fiber)
- 1-2 tbsp's of spaghetti sauce (I usually use Wegman's brand smooth marinara or Prego classic tomato basil)
- 1/4 - 1/2 cup of shredded part-skim mozzarella - use as much or as little as you like
- Toppings as you like them! I usually use bell pepper, onion, and about 4 turkey pepperonis
- Pre-heat oven to 400F, bake for 10-12 minutes - enjoy!
With the toppings and amount of cheese I use for my tastes this quick and yummy lunch or dinner comes to about 350 calories - not bad, and way better than a Lean Cuisine pizza or the like!!
3/28/11
Weekend slacker
Well, I didn't make it to the gym Saturday or Sunday - I was so tired. It's not even funny. I also ate a bunch of crap... but I'm okay with it. lol I packed my gym bag this morning and will definitely be hitting the gym after work today.
My weigh-in did not go as awesome as planned - first of all I forgot to do it on Saturday morning, so I did it Sunday morning... after consuming massive amounts of sodium all day/night Saturday. So yeah. I was at 197 exactly. So I'm pretty much maintaining my weight right now which I guess isn't the end of the world since I definitely can see the changes in my body since getting back in to weight-lifting. Maybe here in the next month I'll see at least a couple more pounds come off.
Food breakdown for the weekend, go!
Sat. 3/26:
My weigh-in did not go as awesome as planned - first of all I forgot to do it on Saturday morning, so I did it Sunday morning... after consuming massive amounts of sodium all day/night Saturday. So yeah. I was at 197 exactly. So I'm pretty much maintaining my weight right now which I guess isn't the end of the world since I definitely can see the changes in my body since getting back in to weight-lifting. Maybe here in the next month I'll see at least a couple more pounds come off.
Food breakdown for the weekend, go!
Sat. 3/26:
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk
- lunch: crunchwrap and regular taco from Taco Bell... I know, I know... it gets worse...
- dinner: kung pao vegetarian "chicken" and some crab rangoon... lots of white rice. The place we ordered from doesn't do brown rice, and I didn't think to make any myself.
- 0 cigarettes
- $14 spent on foods
- 1am bedtime
Sun. 3/27:
- breakfast: donut (so healthy)
- lunch: leftover tofu chinese goodness
- dinner: thin crust supreme pizza over at mom and dad's
- 0 cigarettes
- $0 spent
- 12:30am bedtime - getting up for work this morning was hard! But that's what you get when you sleep super late on a Sunday morning... you're not tired when you're supposed to be!!
Part of the reason I was up so late last night was because I watched the first 2 parts of the new Mildred Pierce on HBO - I definitely recommend it!! Kate Winslet is so amazing.
Goals for this week:
- start watching nutrition intake: 3 proteins, 4 dairy, 7 fruits/veggies, 6 grains/legumes, 4 good fats
- get to the gym 3 TIMES - I've been twice a week the last couple weeks, plus doing some cardio-type-stuff at home, but I'd really like to get that third weight workout in every week.
- spend at least 3 hours reading, I need to finish Game of Thrones before April 17th!!! Plus I picked up a new fitness book I want to do more than just skim through.
- get better about bedtimes - I feel like I've been pushing till midnight too often during the week and that needs to stop
3/26/11
Woo!
Quick foods update.. then off to bed!
Had a pretty decent food day yesterday:
3/24:
Stats for tonight...
3/25:
Hope everyone is having a great friday!!
Had a pretty decent food day yesterday:
3/24:
- breakfast: oatmeal w/ stevia, cinnamon and a splash of 2% milk
- am snack: apples w/ peanut butter
- lunch: lean cuisine chicken, spinach, parmesan spring rolls w/ a big salad with onion and light parmesan ranch dressing
- pm snack: fruit shake w/ whey protein (post-workout)
- dinner: half a ruben sandwich from our local dive bar and some fries, a couple beers
- 50 min workout at the gym - estimated 500 calories burned. Pushed myself pretty hard!
- lots of cigarettes... I gotta get this back under control, for serious
- $4 spent - my friend ended up buying my dinner and all but one of my beers!! She's awesome! (I heart you Jess Brown)
- 11pm bedtime - that's right. I ended up going out much earlier than usual and got home at an amazingly reasonable time.
Stats for tonight...
3/25:
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk and a fruit shake w/ whey protein
- am snacks: wheat thins w/ organic chocolate milk box 8oz.
- lunch: gyro from local pizzaria
- dinner: leftover half of ruben sandwich from last night, a few glasses of wine w/ my girl Holly
- 4 cigarettes
- it's currently almost 12:30am - I'll probably go to bed in about half an hour
- $4 spent on cigs - ugh.
Hope everyone is having a great friday!!
3/24/11
Like being low
I don't know what my deal was yesterday - I packed my gym bag to hit 20-30mins of cardio after work, but by the time 4:30pm rolled around I just didn't have it in me to do anything but go home and sit on the couch. And that's what I did. I sat on the couch and read for about 3 hours, then Mike and I put in a movie and went to bed. Getting out of bed this morning was next to impossible. I'm really ready for this weekend - I think. I don't know. Maybe it's good that I've been so busy between work and home - it's been able to keep me distracted somewhat from some things that have really been bothering me. I've also been incredibly productive!
Yesterday was a good day food-wise:
3/23:
Yesterday was a good day food-wise:
3/23:
- breakfast: oatmeal w/ stevia and cinnamon and a splash of 2% milk.
- am snack: raw almonds
- lunch: baja salad from Wendy's - asked for chili on the side (btw, full salad w/ dressing but only half the chili is only 440 calories), wheat thins
- pm snack: goldfish
- dinner: one slice leftover thin-crust supreme pizza, had half a reese's whipps bar for desert.
- no workout - we went over this earlier
- 1 cigarette
- $6 spent on lunch
- 11:30pm bedtime
I did actually count calories yesterday, just because at the end of the day I felt like I had eaten TOO much - so I added it all up real quick. I was at 1440 for the day. GO ME! I think I've regularly been hitting between 1900-2000 a day, probably one day a week quite a bit more than that, and a couple days a week a bit less. So far the no-calorie-counting is working out pretty well. I feel less stressed about food, and I'm going to the gym because I WANT to go to the gym - not because I feel like I need burn off a certain amount of calories to balance out my daily intake. Mentally I feel like this is a much healthier option for me. At some point I really need to sugar detox again because my cravings for sweets are getting a little out of control lately even though I'm able to exert some willpower and not binge on candy and the like... so far.
I'm definitely planning to hit the gym today - it's weight lifting day! And I need it... so bad... hopefully we will have time to go home for lunch today and I can put together a new playlist with the BILLIONS of new songs/albums I downloaded the other night to make my gym trip even more therapeutic.
Also: I will be weighing myself this Saturday to see if I've dropped any pounds at all in the last month since I stopped doing regular weigh-ins and stopped calorie counting. I need to see if I'm in any way on track for my birthday deadline of... not being the same weight I was last time I weighed myself which was February 26th and I was at 195.8. So by Saturday it will have been exactly a month since I've stepped on a scale... I think? Let's hope it goes well!!!
3/22/11
Getting back into the groove (I hope)
I don't think I mentioned this in any of my posts last week - but I went to the gym twice and took a couple walks on my lunchbreaks!!! Very excited about that. I'll be back in the gym this afternoon after work and since this weekend will not be anywhere near as busy as last week I'm shooting to workout at least 3 times - Tues, Thurs, and Sat.
I had a total smoker breakdown over the weekend as you could probably tell from my last recap... I don't really know what it is other than I'm just not ready to give up that disgusting habit that defines me. I'm having a lot of subconscious stress right now and I'm 100% sure that's what continues to trigger me into just letting myself lapse. What's even more stupid about it? I don't "nic fit". I don't crave that cigarette fix... it is totally a social thing for me. That's why this whole day-counting for me is just a bunch of bullshit... gee, Jess, sure that's great you've gone 5 days without a cigarette - don't you ALWAYS go 5 days without a cigarette until Friday night rolls around and you hang out with your friends? Yes. Yes, I do. And so going 5 days without smoking it really not a milestone for me... it's a weekly occurrence. Even when I considered myself a "heavy smoker".
Dumb. I'm dumb.
Daily Recap 3/21:
edit: I absolutely went to the gym today and burned about 450 calories at that! I'm regularly hitting that mark. I found out recently that my calories are always about half of what my heart monitor says they are so my HM said I burned 922 - I take that to mean about 450. Just fyi.
Oddly enough even though I spend about 50 minutes doing actual exercise today I felt like I didn't push myself hard enough. I was pretty depressed about some things today... which I imagine I may be pretty depressed about for a while until I can get myself together and maybe meditate a little bit on some things... anyway, my point is that all day I looked forward to getting to the gym and being able to just listen to my iPod and focus on exercise - I did just that. I really wish I could lift weights everyday. I absolutely would. But I know that with the semi-heavy lifting I'm doing currently that would hurt me more than help me toward my fat burning goals. Cardio doesn't provide the same focus for me as lifting does - so the idea of going and just being on the elliptical for 20 minutes doesn't quite have the same appeal but I'm going to shoot to do that anyway. I'll go ahead and post what I've eaten so far today since I pretty much know what the rest of my evening is going to look like.
Today, 3/22:
I had a total smoker breakdown over the weekend as you could probably tell from my last recap... I don't really know what it is other than I'm just not ready to give up that disgusting habit that defines me. I'm having a lot of subconscious stress right now and I'm 100% sure that's what continues to trigger me into just letting myself lapse. What's even more stupid about it? I don't "nic fit". I don't crave that cigarette fix... it is totally a social thing for me. That's why this whole day-counting for me is just a bunch of bullshit... gee, Jess, sure that's great you've gone 5 days without a cigarette - don't you ALWAYS go 5 days without a cigarette until Friday night rolls around and you hang out with your friends? Yes. Yes, I do. And so going 5 days without smoking it really not a milestone for me... it's a weekly occurrence. Even when I considered myself a "heavy smoker".
Dumb. I'm dumb.
Daily Recap 3/21:
- breakfast: whole wheat english muffin w/ half tbsp of Earth Balance (vegan butter spread - lots of omega 3's) and half tbsp of strawberry jam
- am snack: apples w/ peanut butter
- lunch: bean burrito and regular taco from Taco Bell w/ about 8oz. if Mountain Dew
- dinner: 2 slices of thin-crust supreme pizza leftover from Sunday night
- 3 cigarettes
- $3 spent on lunch
- 11:30pm bedtime
edit: I absolutely went to the gym today and burned about 450 calories at that! I'm regularly hitting that mark. I found out recently that my calories are always about half of what my heart monitor says they are so my HM said I burned 922 - I take that to mean about 450. Just fyi.
Oddly enough even though I spend about 50 minutes doing actual exercise today I felt like I didn't push myself hard enough. I was pretty depressed about some things today... which I imagine I may be pretty depressed about for a while until I can get myself together and maybe meditate a little bit on some things... anyway, my point is that all day I looked forward to getting to the gym and being able to just listen to my iPod and focus on exercise - I did just that. I really wish I could lift weights everyday. I absolutely would. But I know that with the semi-heavy lifting I'm doing currently that would hurt me more than help me toward my fat burning goals. Cardio doesn't provide the same focus for me as lifting does - so the idea of going and just being on the elliptical for 20 minutes doesn't quite have the same appeal but I'm going to shoot to do that anyway. I'll go ahead and post what I've eaten so far today since I pretty much know what the rest of my evening is going to look like.
Today, 3/22:
- breakfast: whole wheat english muffin w/ half tbsp earth balance and half tbsp strawberry jam
- am snacks: apples w/ peanut butter
- lunch: footlong turkey on wheat w/ provolone, lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, onion, pickles, pepper relish, and mustard and white chocolate macadamia cookies
- dinner: 3oz. of sirloin steak
- post-dinner: grande skim chai latte
- 50 minute workout
- $10 spent on lunch and starbucks
- no cigarettes so far
- shooting for 11pm bedtime
3/20/11
Quick weekend update
Fri. 3/18:
- breakfast: fruit shake and whole wheat english muffin
- am snack: chocolate donut
- lunch: gyro
- dinner: lean cuisine thai spring rolls w/ giant salad
- ridiculous amount of smoking...
- ...I'm not even sure how much money I spent, but I still have cash left! lol
- 2am bedtime
- breakfast: Nature Valley chewy almond bar
- lunch: lots of little Tastefully Simple snacks consisting of mostly chips and dips
- dinner: steak and shrimp fajitas (without tortillas) and some chips w/ queso and salsa
- a little amount of smoking... SO MUCH FAIL
- hubby treated me for dinner
- 1:30am bedtime - but mostly because I had to stay up and watch the episode of One Born Every Minute that was on.
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk
- snacks: wheat thins
- lunch/dinner: thin-crust pizza hut supreme pizza - I probably will not really eat anything else because I am SUPER FULL of pizza. If I have anything else it will be either some fruit or a salad.
- no smoking
- no monies spent
- shooting for 11pm bedtime
3/17/11
Worst. Blogger. Ever.
I have been so so terrible about updating the last couple weeks. I think about it as I'm falling asleep at night "oh, I should have updated my blog instead of... playing Dragon Age 2... reading my book... watching pointless television..." etc, etc, etc. Dragon Age 2 is getting the best of me right now. If it's not that I've got my nose buried in Game of Thrones... I'm about 2/3rd's of the way through that and I need to finish it before the series premieres on HBO April 17th! (Especially for my birthday present, is how I like to think of it.)
OH! SO!! I GOT A NEW CAR!
Here's a picture:
It's a 2008 Honda Accord EX-L V6 - and it's ALL MINE!! okay... maybe a little bit Mike's too... I love it!! It's basically just a grown-up version of my Civic... lol
okay, so, let's see... eating for this week... oh man.. it's been a little out of control. My fast food addiction is back in full swing. I'm making the smartest choices I possible can... but... it's still really bad. All week I've had oatmeal for breakfast, apples w/ natural peanut butter and wheat thins for snacks, but lunches have been... Taco Bell... Wendy's... and then Taco Bell again... one of those nights I didn't even really eat dinner.. the other I had boneless wings and beer at Buffalo Wild Wings. So, yeah. I'm kind of screwing myself just a little. I DID go to the gym for an hour Tuesday evening. So thank god for that!!
We'll just pick up on yesterday's stats.
Weds 3/16:
I'm really proud of myself for jumping right back in at the gym this week after being totally sick all week last week. I went today, too, for another hour! And I've been remembering to bring my heart monitor - my average calorie burn is about 400-450. I think that's pretty excellent!
I'm thinking about re-reading Jackie Warner's book to motivate me to get back on track with healthier eating. I'm pretty sure I've finally found an exercise routine that I'm enjoying and look forward to - and that involved a lot of weight-lifting. The last few weeks I've finally started noticing the changes in my body and the way I look/carry myself, etc. and I believe I owe all of that to the strength training I've been focusing on the last almost-month now. Even though I've only made it to the gym about half as much as I'd have liked to - when I am getting there, and what I'm focusing on while I'm there, seems to really be making a difference. That's pretty encouraging.
Now for some TMI stuff... I think I'm really going to consider "going organic" if it will at all factor into my grocery budget. I went off my birth control pills back in July - Mike and I are officially "trying" - most of you probably already know this... well, lately my body is completely out of control menstrual cycle-wise. I think this may be a direct result of what I'm eating/drinking and the possible hormones and chemicals I'm consuming. Every month I just seem to get more and more out of whack. This month, apparently, I'm having two periods... and that pretty much makes me want to kill myself... and also makes me think maybe I'm not ovulating the way I should be. Then there's this whole other part of me that feels like that's just a bunch of bullshit and that I just haven't really settled into a normal cycle because all the women I work with and coming into contact with almost EVERY DAY are menopausal and that's throwing me off hard core. I saw my gyno just a couple weeks ago for my annual and she said it didn't really sound abnormal to be having these "fake" periods a week before my real period, that I was probably just spotting after ovulation... fine... except that now this month it's not just 2 or 3 days the week before I have my REAL period... it's been 5... 5 days of having to, y'know, wear something... because it's just enough that I HAVE to wear something or it'll ruin all my undies, but not enough to be anything REAL... and I'm supposed to start my regular period Sunday or Monday... so by the time that is over I will have been bleeding for... oh... 2 FUCKING WEEKS. I've had just about enough. I have never been this irregular, ever. It's starting to really effect me - I don't like being so out of tune with my body, I'm not used to it. <end rant>
Well, I hope you enjoyed that lovely insight to my reproductive organs. I know I sure enjoyed getting it all off my chest. *angelic smile*
So that's what's been going on in my world this week. I will probably post later this evening or in the morning with food log and other stuffs for today.
OH! SO!! I GOT A NEW CAR!
Here's a picture:
It's a 2008 Honda Accord EX-L V6 - and it's ALL MINE!! okay... maybe a little bit Mike's too... I love it!! It's basically just a grown-up version of my Civic... lol
okay, so, let's see... eating for this week... oh man.. it's been a little out of control. My fast food addiction is back in full swing. I'm making the smartest choices I possible can... but... it's still really bad. All week I've had oatmeal for breakfast, apples w/ natural peanut butter and wheat thins for snacks, but lunches have been... Taco Bell... Wendy's... and then Taco Bell again... one of those nights I didn't even really eat dinner.. the other I had boneless wings and beer at Buffalo Wild Wings. So, yeah. I'm kind of screwing myself just a little. I DID go to the gym for an hour Tuesday evening. So thank god for that!!
We'll just pick up on yesterday's stats.
Weds 3/16:
- breakfast: half my usual pack of oatmeal w/ a splash of chocolate milk (since we were all out of regular... ugh)
- snacks: apples w/ peanut butter, wheat thins, Natural Valley chewy almond bar
- lunch: chips and cheese and bean burrito from Taco Bell
- dinner: 1 cup of my mom's chicken tortilla soup
- 0 cigarettes, but I don't think that really counts for much considering I smoked HALF A PACK Tuesday night... ugh.
- 11:30pm bedtime... Dragon Age is going to be the end of my reasonable weeknight bedtimes...
- $3 spent on lunch
I'm really proud of myself for jumping right back in at the gym this week after being totally sick all week last week. I went today, too, for another hour! And I've been remembering to bring my heart monitor - my average calorie burn is about 400-450. I think that's pretty excellent!
I'm thinking about re-reading Jackie Warner's book to motivate me to get back on track with healthier eating. I'm pretty sure I've finally found an exercise routine that I'm enjoying and look forward to - and that involved a lot of weight-lifting. The last few weeks I've finally started noticing the changes in my body and the way I look/carry myself, etc. and I believe I owe all of that to the strength training I've been focusing on the last almost-month now. Even though I've only made it to the gym about half as much as I'd have liked to - when I am getting there, and what I'm focusing on while I'm there, seems to really be making a difference. That's pretty encouraging.
Now for some TMI stuff... I think I'm really going to consider "going organic" if it will at all factor into my grocery budget. I went off my birth control pills back in July - Mike and I are officially "trying" - most of you probably already know this... well, lately my body is completely out of control menstrual cycle-wise. I think this may be a direct result of what I'm eating/drinking and the possible hormones and chemicals I'm consuming. Every month I just seem to get more and more out of whack. This month, apparently, I'm having two periods... and that pretty much makes me want to kill myself... and also makes me think maybe I'm not ovulating the way I should be. Then there's this whole other part of me that feels like that's just a bunch of bullshit and that I just haven't really settled into a normal cycle because all the women I work with and coming into contact with almost EVERY DAY are menopausal and that's throwing me off hard core. I saw my gyno just a couple weeks ago for my annual and she said it didn't really sound abnormal to be having these "fake" periods a week before my real period, that I was probably just spotting after ovulation... fine... except that now this month it's not just 2 or 3 days the week before I have my REAL period... it's been 5... 5 days of having to, y'know, wear something... because it's just enough that I HAVE to wear something or it'll ruin all my undies, but not enough to be anything REAL... and I'm supposed to start my regular period Sunday or Monday... so by the time that is over I will have been bleeding for... oh... 2 FUCKING WEEKS. I've had just about enough. I have never been this irregular, ever. It's starting to really effect me - I don't like being so out of tune with my body, I'm not used to it. <end rant>
Well, I hope you enjoyed that lovely insight to my reproductive organs. I know I sure enjoyed getting it all off my chest. *angelic smile*
So that's what's been going on in my world this week. I will probably post later this evening or in the morning with food log and other stuffs for today.
3/14/11
*groan*
Well, I did NOT have internet access at the hotel in Roanoke because they wanted to CHARGE me an extra $20 for the weekend. No thank you. Honestly I don't think I would have had much time or energy to update anyhow. We were pretty much only in the room long enough to sleep, shower and leave again.
It was a wonderful weekend overall - I love being in Southwest Virginia, and the weather was beautiful! The lectures were really interesting and really inspired me to revisit the sites and battlefields near home that I haven't been to since I was 9 or 10.
I did not have the opportunity to workout at the hotel but Mike and I had the opportunity to walk around downtown Roanoke for almost an hour Saturday afternoon, which was really nice.
Now I will try to remember what all I ate (too much, I'll tell you right now)...
Fri. 3/11:
It was a wonderful weekend overall - I love being in Southwest Virginia, and the weather was beautiful! The lectures were really interesting and really inspired me to revisit the sites and battlefields near home that I haven't been to since I was 9 or 10.
I did not have the opportunity to workout at the hotel but Mike and I had the opportunity to walk around downtown Roanoke for almost an hour Saturday afternoon, which was really nice.
Now I will try to remember what all I ate (too much, I'll tell you right now)...
Fri. 3/11:
- breakfast: Nature Valley chewy almond bar
- am snack: handful of potato chips
- lunch: Chik-Fil-A original sandwich with fries and a lemonade
- dinner: salad w/ ranch, roll, mashed sweet potatoes, vegetable medley, very small portion or pasta primavera, and a small slice of pork tenderloin.... and, wait for it... chocolate bourbon pecan pie for desert
- 1 cigarette (Mike is so making me fail on this it's not even funny)
- 11pm bedtime
- $5 spent on lunch
Sat 3/12:
- breakfast: eggs, 2 slices of bacon, one teeny tiny piece of french toast (no syrup), a chocolate milk (they were all out of juice and the regular milk seemed warm... gross)
- am snack: mini sausage biscuit, mini danish
- lunch: was gross... really gross.. I had salad and a little bit of pasta. That was about it.
- pm snack: these AMAZING almond cookies... omg I want one right now lol.. and some coffee w/ a rice krispie treat
- dinner: lots and lots of salad (started craving greens hardcore after having so much sugar all day), a little bit of pasta, about 6oz of this DELICIOUS citrus chicken... major improvement over lunch. Plus a little sliver of cheesecake for desert.
- hour long walk
- 1 cigarette
- 9:30pm bedtime
- $0 spent - all meals and snacks and stuff were provided by the conference which is why I had access to so much junk the whole time.
Sun 3/13:
- breakfast: 2 eggs, 2 strips of bacon, 2 pancakes and an orange juice at iHop. It was perfect.
- lunch: turkey sub w/ mustard from Jimmy John's
- dinner: gyro from local pizza parlor... just the gyro. Also perfect.
- no snacks
- 0 cigarettes
- 11:30pm bedtime
- $7 spent on dinner - Mike bought lunch, and my father-in-law bought breakfast.
I'm still barely recovered from this damn chest cold. It's really killing me.. and the time change this weekend is wreaking havoc on my sleep. I'm exhausted.
I'm so super glad we went to this conference this weekend, but now I need a vacation from my weekend. Mostly I think I need to get caught up on sleep. I will probably NOT go to the gym today, as I did not have the opportunity to pack my gym bag this morning, but I will pack tonight before bed and definitely plan to go after work tomorrow.
3/10/11
There's a reason...
...that I haven't posted ALL WEEK.
I've been super sick. Monday and Tuesday I pretty much felt like I was dying a little, yesterday was a bit better, and today is MUCH better.
I have not exercised at all this week thanks to all of that and even though I probably am healthy enough to hit the gym today I won't because we are going out of town tomorrow and I have to finish laundry and pack. UGH.
I can't remember everything I ate (or didn't eat) Monday and Tues... it wasn't much, I'll tell you that. Cereal for breakfast and soup for the rest, I think. So, yeah. Not much. But here's what I had yesterday...
Weds 3/9:
I've been super sick. Monday and Tuesday I pretty much felt like I was dying a little, yesterday was a bit better, and today is MUCH better.
I have not exercised at all this week thanks to all of that and even though I probably am healthy enough to hit the gym today I won't because we are going out of town tomorrow and I have to finish laundry and pack. UGH.
I can't remember everything I ate (or didn't eat) Monday and Tues... it wasn't much, I'll tell you that. Cereal for breakfast and soup for the rest, I think. So, yeah. Not much. But here's what I had yesterday...
Weds 3/9:
- breakfast: one packet plain oatmeal (cooked, obv) w/ 1/2 tbsp honey and 1/8 cup of milk
- am snack: raw almonds and a banana
- lunch: 6" turkey breast on wheat from Subway w/ provolone, lettuce, cucumbers, bell pepper, onion, pickles, and mustard, baked lays, ONE white chocolate macadamia nut cookie, green tea to drink
- pm snack: venti skim chai from Starbucks
- no dinner (bad, I know)
- 0 cigarettes - that makes 5 days
- 11pm bedtime
- $11 spent between lunch and Starbucks
I have a really big weekend ahead of me that I'm super excited for! I'm bringing the laptop with me so I should have a chance to update while I'm down there.. I hope. I really will be better about this, you guys.
Quick note: last night as I was getting ready for bed I really started to see some of the changes in my body. I went to the doc on Tues and they weighed me - 197lbs. That was fully dressed and after having eaten, though. I'm not going to complain. Part of this new "exercise more" experiment is that I'm trying not to weigh myself every week anymore. I think it really throws me off when the scale doesn't reflect what I can clearly see with my eyes and feel in my body.
I'd like to make a statement now:
If on my birthday, April 15th, I am still at the exact same weight (or heavier than) I was the last time I stepped on my scale (195lbs) then I will start strictly counting calories again.
That's a promise. As much as I really don't want to... I have to say, I'm really enjoying my life of non-calorie-obsession. Thanks to the many months and years of calorie-counting and internet information crammed into my brain I can tell you the caloric worth of pretty much anything to set in from of me... and with that knowledge I'm able to consistently make wise eating choices. Plus I've found I'm starting to do that whole "intuitive eating" thing - when you pay enough attention to your body to know when you're REALLY hungry or if you're just bored, distracted, what-have-you. Probably why I didn't have dinner last night. I had a nice, filling lunch and then I just.. wasn't really hungry. Granted, my chai latte may have helped stave off my hunger a bit... but I think when I was always counting calories I found myself eating simple because I had "room" to do so... I would think, "I still have 600 calories left for today" and so I'd find a way to eat those 600 remaining calories whether I was actually hungry for them or not. Or I would think, "I only have 67 calories left for the day.." and I'd be starving an hour after dinner but couldn't "afford" to let myself eat anything else. I know for me it was becoming a little ridiculous... and mentally unhealthy. We all know I have enough mental illness going on without the food stuff!! lol
Anyway. The bottom line is: I'm much happier with my relationship with food these days and because of that my general stress level is way down. Go me!
3/7/11
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...
I feel like this has been the norm this winter... I get everything back in gear, under control, ready to go... and I get SICK. !@#*(*@!!!
So much anger you guys.. so much anger.
Quick recap of the weekend:
Friday 3/4:
I worked out 4 times last week! I'm really proud of myself. Did weight-training Mon and Thurs, and cardio Tues and Fri. I really wanted to go to the gym Saturday afternoon but ran out of time before my Dad's birthday shindig and unfortunately Sunday I woke up feeling like pewp and then even more like pewp today... hopefully by Weds I'll have recovered enough to make it for a workout. We leave Friday early-afternoon for Roanoke, but I'll be bringing my workout clothes with me to the hotel in case I get a chance to workout while we're there. I'm determined to get back to it as soon as I'm feeling better! I don't want to spend another month in exercise limbo feeling down on myself!
So much anger you guys.. so much anger.
Quick recap of the weekend:
Friday 3/4:
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk
- lunch: 12" turkey breast on wheat w/ lettuce, bell pepper, onion, cucumber, pickle, pepper relish and mustard, a handful of baked lays and a cookie
- dinner: one piece fried mozzarella, bread, side caesar salad, half a plate of Pasta Weesie at Carrabba's (linguine, shrimp, mushrooms, scallions in a white wine sauce)
- smoked a lot
- 2am bedtime
- $35 on dinner
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk
- lunch: half-size baja salad at Wendy's w/ jr. frostie
- dinner: 4oz. of boneless Pakinstany chicken kabobs, basmati rice, seasoned chickpeas and yellow curry lentils, piece of tandoori bread with fresh hummus
- 2 cigarettes
- 12am bedtime
- $0 spent
- breakfast: one donut from Dunkin Donuts
- lunch: leftover Pasta Weesie from Friday night
- dinner: chicken noodle soup
- 0 cigarettes
- 11pm bedtime
- $0 spent
I worked out 4 times last week! I'm really proud of myself. Did weight-training Mon and Thurs, and cardio Tues and Fri. I really wanted to go to the gym Saturday afternoon but ran out of time before my Dad's birthday shindig and unfortunately Sunday I woke up feeling like pewp and then even more like pewp today... hopefully by Weds I'll have recovered enough to make it for a workout. We leave Friday early-afternoon for Roanoke, but I'll be bringing my workout clothes with me to the hotel in case I get a chance to workout while we're there. I'm determined to get back to it as soon as I'm feeling better! I don't want to spend another month in exercise limbo feeling down on myself!
3/3/11
Settling into routine
I don't know why I ever dread working out once I fall out of habit. It always ALWAYS makes me feel better mentally and physically - and it just really doesn't take THAT much time out of my normal day. My eventual, someday, maybe-never goal is to work out in the mornings before work. I mean, honestly, I don't have to go to work THAT early. Plus my commute is like 3 minutes. Seriously. I should just get my butt out of bed at 6:30am and go workout. That would give me plenty of time to do whatever I want to do at the gym, come home, shower, and get to work by 8:30. Plus I would never have to worry about Mike getting home late from work or leaving James at daycare longer than I want to. This might be something I'll have to work on... but it's going to take a LOT of motivation and I'm not even sure that I should attempt it before I've got at least a month of regular-gym-going under my belt. Plus it's always easier to wake up earlier in the Spring/Summer because the sun comes up early...
I'm beginning to see a bit of a pattern with my eating... I'll have one really awful day food-wise, and then the next day I eat PERFECTLY... and so on and so forth. I think I'm okay with this. For now.
I am so super proud of myself for hitting the gym today. I have exercised for at least 30 minutes 3 times this week and that is better than I've done in I-can't-even-say how long! And I still have tomorrow. :)
As for food - I may have some frozen yogurt or some more wheat thins before bed. I just finished dinner, so we'll see if any hunger creeps up on me in the next couple hours.
I'm beginning to see a bit of a pattern with my eating... I'll have one really awful day food-wise, and then the next day I eat PERFECTLY... and so on and so forth. I think I'm okay with this. For now.
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk
- am snacks: raw almonds and pears
- lunch: big salad w/ the usual fixins and dressing, lean cuisine asiago cheese tortellini
- pm snacks: wheat thins, fruit smoothie with whey protein (post-workout)
- dinner: spicy orange chicken stir fry with brown rice - this is my absolutely favorite Wegman's thing ever. They're frozen dinners called "Taste of Asia" PACKED with white meat chicken, broccoli, bok choi, carrots, snow peas, and red bell pepper - plus REAL brown rice! They only take 10 minutes, it's awesome. The sauce is a little high in sugar and sodium (21g, 700mg, respectively) but it comes in a separate little packet and they give you a TON so I usually just use half the packet for the whole dish. They cost about $6.50 usually and have two servings - but lucky for me they were on sale this week for $5 so I picked up 3 packages. Also Mike doesn't much care for any kind of asian-type-food, so that means I can eat one serving and save the other for a lunch or dinner another day.
- 1 hour workout at the gym!! That's 3 TIMES THIS WEEK!
- 0 cigarettes
- Shooting for 11pm bedtime
- $0 spent - had lunch at home today
I am so super proud of myself for hitting the gym today. I have exercised for at least 30 minutes 3 times this week and that is better than I've done in I-can't-even-say how long! And I still have tomorrow. :)
As for food - I may have some frozen yogurt or some more wheat thins before bed. I just finished dinner, so we'll see if any hunger creeps up on me in the next couple hours.
Some serious updating!
I have been SO slack this week on updating. Sorry, loyal readers!
Let me just get caught up on the last couple days' worth of eating first...
Tues. 3/1:
Let me just get caught up on the last couple days' worth of eating first...
Tues. 3/1:
- breakfast: organic granola w/ 2% milk (becoming the usual)
- am snacks: banana and raw almonds, 2 mini cinnamon rolls (THANKS MAMA TROTT.. ugh)
- lunch: lean cuisine shrimp scampi w/ a big salad (usual fixin's and dressing)
- pm snacks: wheat thins, 8oz of organic chocolate milk (post-workout), 1/2 cup of frozen yogurt
- dinner: Stove Top chicken bake dish
- other: lots and lots of wine...
Weds. 3/2:
- breakfast: bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit w/ orange juice... from McDonalds... I'll explain this disaster in a moment.
- am snacks: banana w/ raw almonds
- lunch: tuna bullet from quizno's with baked lays - honestly, pretty much the healthiest option there but it made me SUPER sick to my stomach
- pm snacks: wheat thins
- dinner: lean cuisine shanghai shrimp
Okay, so Tuesday night I went over to a friends house to visit - we hadn't hung out in a LONG time and there was lots to talk about... and without realizing it I may have drank close to a bottle of wine... and I was... wrecked. I mean, seriously. Plus I did a LOT of drunken facebooking and then couldn't remember why I had about 1,000 notifications the next mornings... oh, yeah, 'cause I commented on EVERYTHING at 1am in a drunken stupor...
Work was NO FUN yesterday. I occasionally drink during the week - a glass of wine here, a beer or two there... most of my drinking usually happens on Friday or Saturday night, however, because really nobody likes being anywhere close to hungover at work.. this was so bad, you guys. I'm pretty sure I may have actually still been a little tipsy at 8am yesterday morning... but you know what? I was super freaking productive even with the constant self-loathing inner-monologue happening about how I'm a totally worthless wino and had I not had so much I could have gotten out of bed early to help James for his "Wacky Wednesday" outfit for daycare.. not that he really would have let me help him anyway.. but yeah... it was pretty awful. I feel totally embarrassed, guilty, and pretty much just hate everything about myself right now.
I haven't done anything like that in a really long time.. like.. since before I was married. I'm going to just go out on a limb here and say this probably had something to do with the fact that I've felt so depressed the last couple of weeks - it doesn't make it healthy. But it was certainly a wake-up call on a lot of different levels.
Let the detox begin.
Positive things about this week:
- 2 days 0 cigarettes
- did weights Monday (I already posted about that I think), and 45 mins of cardio Tuesday. Thanks to Quizno's I was too sick my stomach after work yesterday to even contemplate exercise.. but I packed my gym bag this morning and plan on doing that after work.
- epic fail on Tuesday's bedtime - but last night lights out by 11pm.
- $10 spent between breakfast and lunch yesterday
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