Why I rarely drink caffeine...

In case you didn't know - caffeine is highly addictive. That's right. I'm sure you're SHOCKED. This is just one of the reasons why I rarely drink caffeine.. maybe twice a week. Maybe. Well, last night I drank the equivalent of about 4 cans of coke... and then spent the next 4 hours just lying awake in my bed feeling all twitchy/jittery and panic-attacky... thanks to that MASSIVE influx of caffeine right before bed here I am at work 4 hours later feeling a little like I'm going to die. No more massive amounts of caffeine before bed for this girl... unless I have the opportunity to catch up on lost sleep the next day.

Now, the other irritating thing: there's no way I'm realistically going to the gym this afternoon. I will HAVE to have a nap. Lest I spend my workout with migraine auras. Because that's how my body works. Woo. -.-

Okay, so I know I have to post 2 days of stats - I forgot to hop on the scale yesterday (AGAIN), but I did manage to remember to do it this morning... fully dressed as I was walking out the door for work. Which doesn't really give me an accurate number. Fully dressed I was at 201.8 - which probably really means like 199. So, I packed on about 3 pounds over the last couple weeks. I'm cool with that, it's the holidays, it was somewhat expected. Next week as life-in-general returns to normal (hopefully along with my sleep schedule) I'll be in the gym 3-4 days a week and back on my normal high-vegetation/low-calorie diet.. instead of the current eat-whatever-I-feel-like-'cause-it's-the-holidays-bitches diet.

Stats for 12/27:

• total calories: 1806 - including some wine which made me feel like the walking dead YESTERDAY morning... it's been a rough week for me. Fo' sho'. 
• calories burned: 350 - got a great workout in at the gym, lots of weight training which felt AMAZING. 
• 1 cigarette
• 1am bedtime - eeesh...
• $4 on lunch ($36 left for the week)

Stats for 12/28:

• total calories: 2000 - stupid coka-cola ruining my sleep AND my calorie-count... I maybe would have done better sticking with the Mich Ultra
• no workout
• 8 cigarettes *wince*
• got in bed around midnight... didn't fall asleep til about 4am.. *headdesk*
• $11 lunch/drinks ($25 left for the week)

Holiday Review

So, obviously, I haven't posted since the 21st - which was last Tuesday. Of course I have eaten since then. Of course I've completely neglected my blog. But it was Christmas, what do you expect?

I did really decent with my calorie intake, with the exception of Christmas day on which I ate about 2500 calories. But, hey, that is still pretty good considering the amount of food that was available! My only saving grace Christmas Eve was that I managed to stuff my belly full of cocktail shrimp so I was too full to eat any of the more fattening/high calorie foods sitting out. lol

I did not weigh myself this morning, as I completely forgot what I was doing in the mad rush to actually get to work on time after dreaming all night long about just NOT going to work, or being incredibly late, or forgetting, etc, etc, etc... those dreams are the WORST. I'll weigh in tomorrow and maybe even take the time to do full-scale measurements - not just my waist.

Let me throw my weekend stats out there and then I'll talk a little bit about Christmas..

12/25:

• total calories: 2500 - including a few glasses of wine... delicious. :)
• 30 minutes of Just Dance 2 on the Wii - OH YEAH FUN CARDIO! I'll say maybe 150 calories burned there lol
• maybe 4 cigarettes? I can't remember... I bummed a few off my mom while I was enjoying my wine. 
• 1am bedtime - Mike and I did not do very well on bedtimes the whole weekend because my mom got us a little DVD player for our bedroom and we decided The Lord of the Rings would be the PERFECT before bed movie... lol
• I spent no money over the actual weekend - I spent $15 Thursday night when we went out with some friends. I have $20 leftover from last week. Pretty awesome. Not gonna lie.

12/26:

• total calories: 1655 - I think I was still full from dinner the night before haha
• calories burned: 200 - played Just Dance for about an hour with Mike, may have burned more than this but I'm not gonna over estimate. 
• 0 cigarettes
• 11:30 bedtime - woo!
• $0 spent

We had an excellent Christmas - Santa brought us a Wii!! Mike got me the Just Dance game (in case you didn't pick up on that already lol), we also got Mario Kart Wii and Super Mario Bros Wii... so awesome! We love that thing. James was totally ecstatic over all his gifts and we got some great family movies that we enjoyed watching yesterday. It was so amazing to have all day yesterday to just chill out and play with all the new stuff! I wish Mike and I had had enough vacation to have been able to take this week off work, too, but maybe next year. Although I'm beginning to think I'll NEVER have any vacation time saved up. Seems like every time I get a couple days something comes up and I have to use it for "non-fun" things. :-\  Oh, well. 

So overall: excellent holiday!

I think my main downfall this weekend was the amount of sweets I ate - the majority of my calorie counts Fri-Sun were cookies/pie, etc. I think it might be a bit tough to break that habit this upcoming week of wanting to stuff my face with sugar. We'll see how it goes. I'm planning to hit the gym a least 3 times this week. I'm thinking that shouldn't be too difficult since we have Friday off and I'm sure the gym will be open almost-normal hours that day. I did, however, forget to grab my gym bag to bring to work this morning - but I'm pretty sure we're going home for lunch today so I can get it then. 

Goals for this week:

- 1900 calories a day or less

- go to the gym 3 days

- take full-body measurements

- smoke as little as possible

- limit 3 alcoholic beverages per outing/get-together excepting New Years Eve (we'll be at home that night so I won't have to worry about that whole driving thing either)

The thing about pumpkin pie...

...is I want to eat the WHOLE PIE. I honestly could. All 2080 calories of it. If that's all I ate the whole day that wouldn't be so bad... would it?

I do have to say it makes for an excellent post-dinner desert. I'm going to give myself Christmas Eve and Christmas day to eat whatever I damn well please. Calorie counting be damned! It will be my holiday treat to myself... and then Monday I'll be in the gym working it all off and hating myself for it. lol Maybe.

I feel like I'm finally starting to learn that I don't have to guilt myself into oblivion every time I go slightly over my calorie goal, or can't make a workout. I feel like I've done pretty well in reigning myself back in and moving forward - not "starting over", mind you - just moving forward. It's just part of the lifestyle change. There will always be junk-food days, there will always be days where making it to the gym just won't be an option, but as long as I recognize the bumps for what they are (just bumps, not detours, not road closures) I will be emotionally/mentally healthier about my relationship with food and exercise. I'm really proud of that.

My stats for yesterday, 12/21:

• total calories: 1738 - I was starving around 9pm, but my friend Stacy and I made fresh popcorn (not microwave) with a little bit of butter and salt which I thought was an excellent healthy snack choice!
• no workout - was still at home with the sick kiddo and the hubby didn't make it home from work until pretty late. It's okay. This week has been a continual gym "bump".. next week will be better.
• 4 cigarettes
• went to bed just before 1am... eeesh. Long story.
• $0 spent (staying home has it's perks this week lol)

Run down

Well, James has been running high fevers on and off since about 3am Monday morning and so I stayed at home with him yesterday and am home again today.. last night about 9pm I just started to feel incredibly run down. I'm afraid maybe I'm starting to fight whatever virus he's got. It seems like one of the 3 of us is always sick for Christmas. :-\  It sucks. I haven't worked out since Tuesday of last week and I'm feeling pretty down on myself for that, however I'm doing really well with my calories since I haven't been exercising. I'm going to be realistic here and just own up to the fact that I probably will not be making it to the gym this week - but next week I really need to lock back in on my routine.

Here are my stats for the last two days..

12/19:

• total calories: 1809 - unfortunately I went about 20g over my fat intake for the day though. Ate lots of cheese and other dairy.. oh well. Win some, lose some.
• no workout
• no smoking
• 11:30pm bedtime
• used some Christmas money to go out for a nice lunch with the hubby - $3 spent on starbucks from the weekly fund. 

12/20:

• total calories: 1427 - I was really blown away at how little I ate yesterday, even with making some Christmas cookies and stuff. I just wasn't really hungry at all yesterday which is another reason that makes me think I'm fighting this virus... 
• no workout
• 1 cigarette which made me feel like I wanted to throw-up. Ick.
• 10:30 bedtime
• $0 spent ($40 left for the week)

My weight for this week was 198lbs - 2lbs less than last week, so I'm not really sure how to feel about that since I was at 195.8 two weeks ago.. I'm not sure if I've actually gained or lost or WHAT! lol   My clothes continue to fit better and better everyday and I can start really seeing a difference in my face, so I'm not going to stress too much as long as I keep feeling like I'm making progress. Once the holidays are over and I can settle back into a consistent exercise routine I think I'll start seeing results at a quicker pace. I've also been thinking about re-reading Jackie Warner's book just to give myself some inspiration. We'll see how that goes.

Mike and I got all of James's presents wrapped last night plus all of our gifts to extended family - I'm going to try to get his wrapped while I'm home today. I'm so glad I'm done with all my shopping! Usually this time of year I'm going crazy trying to get everything finished up.

On another note, I started reading The Magicians by Lev Grossman a couple weeks ago and I'm almost finished with it. I definitely recommend it! Be warned - the beginning is a little slow, but once it picks up it gets really good. I'm really excited for the second book in the series next Summer! I'm almost done with this book.. and just like anytime I'm reading a book I really enjoy, as I get down to the final chapters I start stressing about leaving those characters behind. I'm going to miss them all.. I'm glad this is the beginning of a series - it will be exciting to see where things go. Now, I just have to figure out what to start reading next after I finish this - which will probably be sometime today.

So my goals for this week are:
- smoke as little as possible
- continue to limit alcohol intake to 3 beverages or less per get-together/outing
- continue 11:30pm bedtime
- 1900 calories or less a day (I have to say it felt really weird allowing myself to eat so much doing the 2100 calories - once I get back in the gym maybe we'll revisit this)

Falling behind...

So, obviously, I haven't updated in quite a few days.

Overall - I didn't eat more than 1900/day through the end of the work week.

Stats for Saturday 12/19:

• total calories: 2150 - and all of it junk. I had a granola bar for breakfast, half a piece of Biggest Loser baked ziti with a small salad for lunch... and then a crap-ton of baked goods at a Christmas party along with a few glasses of wine, BUT we then played Michael Jackson: The Experience on Wii for like 2 HOURS (which is a dance game) so I'm pretty sure I burned....
• total burned: 400 - it's pretty hardcore. 
• 8 cigarettes - I'm doing so awesome at this... NOT.  -.-
• 2:30am bedtime... eeeesh
• $0 spent 

Now I'm watching some My So-Called Life and shooting for an early bedtime. :)

motivation breakdown...

Let's do stats first, real quick...

12/14:

• total calories: 2262 - the soda after my 2 beers put me quite a bit over. :-\  I'm thinking I need to reign back in the calories a bit... I think this idea that I can eat 2100/day makes me eat just fulfill my limit instead of eating because I'm actually hungry. We'll see how the rest of the week/weekend goes and what the scale tells me Monday morning...
• calories burned: 350 - I didn't get the workout in I wanted. I was really looking forward to kicking my own ass and the gym incident I spoke about yesterday kind of severely disappointed me. 
• not sure how many cigarettes, honestly. Probably about 8 which is over the limit I gave myself. 
• 12:30am bedtime
• $15 spent on lunch/going out ($20 left)

I packed my gym bag this morning to take to work but ended up getting out of the office a bit later than I anticipated, plus I had to run to the bank and deposit my paycheck and traffic SUCKED ASS... by the time I hit the bank and got on the road toward to the gym it was already 5pm which was not going to be enough time to do my full workout before it would be time to get James from daycare, so I told myself I would just do it when I got home. Well, apparently James did not have a good day at daycare - meaning he acted like a GIANT BRAT and actually told one little girl that he was going kill her because he was mad. Yeah. Isn't that fucking super? I thought so, too. Then he whined and acted like a big baby the whole drive home, so basically being a parent completely overrode every intention to workout I had. Right now I'm feeling my motivation wash away from me like debris in flood waters...

Our office brought in Subway for lunch today and I ate a whole 12 inch turkey sub.. on honey-oat... which added about 100 extra calories. UGH. Plus we've had a bunch of chocolate candies sitting around the office with the holiday and stuff.. and I ate 3 of those today after my sub. Basically I had like an 800 calorie lunch which kind of makes me feel like I should not eat anything for dinner, but I know that wouldn't be healthy either.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day all around - and hopefully I'll be able to get out of work on time to make it to the gym.

Two posts in one day! Mon dieu!

Just wanted to get a couple things off my chest...

As many of you followers know, I joined a gym week before last. Great, fine, whatever. I went 4 days last week, felt pretty good about getting back into the grove of things. I went today after work to get do my arms/chest and legs routine and to get 20 mins or so of cardio in. As soon as I walked into the gym I felt uncomfortable. I hopped on the elliptical and started a quick 5 minute warm-up before heading on to do my weights... and then when I went to do my weights I realized: this gym has, like, NONE of the machines I'm used to using. They didn't even have a squat machine. At all. Not a seated one, and not a standing one either. I spent a good 30 minutes just using free-weights -- which is totally fine, except that I'm not paying $35/mo just to use dumbbells, especially when my best successes were accomplished using a variety of different machinery in conjunction with free-weights. I was just irritated. This is a brand new gym that opened (although it's a chain - LA Fitness)... I just realized today that I really kind of hate it. I'm not comfortable there at all - I seriously feel like the fattest person in the place, and it seems like almost everyone that goes there knows everyone else. It just had a weird vibe for me. I dunno - maybe I'm just a crazy person. Anyway...

So I headed over to Golds after my workout and ended up talking to the GM over there about a membership. They can offer me $23/month - with no sign-up fee. Sweet! Plus, as soon as I walked into the place I just felt like I was "home" - I mean, it's the gym I had been going to for almost 4 years, so I guess that makes sense in a way. Everyone is SO nice there (all the staff), and the people that work out there are just there to workout. It's not about looking all sexified, it's not about socializing, it's just about getting your sweat on and working hard toward that rockin' body. Plus I know like 3 people that go there so maybe I can get myself a gym buddy in the process.

Anyhoo - I think I'm going to go ahead and cancel my LA Fitness membership tomorrow, and sign up with Golds again. I feel really awesome about this decision and it just makes me even more excited to continue on this weight-loss journey!

The Weight Game

I have to say I’m a little disappointed with how much of my self-esteem is starting to depend on the scale, but I know with how heavy I had become this is probably one of the only ways I can keep things in check until I can really feel confident that my whole lifestyle has changed and that I’m set in my healthier ways – knowing that will probably be 12-14 months of stepping on that scale every Monday morning and either loving or loathing myself.

This morning I hopped on the scale and it read 200lbs. Even. Last week it was 195.8. I refuse to believe that I actually gained 4lbs in one week, especially considering how well I did with my eating until Saturday night. One 3000 calorie day of indulgence does not 4lbs make.

True fact. True scientific fact.

I’m going to chalk up that 4lbs to some increase in muscle tone and water weight since that time of the month is coming up in a few days. I didn’t have a chance to take measurements, so I don’t know how I’m fairing there. I’m really trying to build up my core muscles so I’m sure I’ll see an increase in my waist size since that muscle will build faster than the fat will burn. I just really need to try and keep a clear head about this fluctuation that I’m going to see with my weight over the next month-or-so as I rebuild my muscle tone. I’m afraid with this new “scale awareness” I’ll start freaking out and lose my motivation and just completely fall off track if I see any kind of substantial gain in the next few weeks.

On a positive note: I did my core workout last night at home! I’m really proud of myself for exercising even though I wasn’t able to make it to the gym – and not just 15 or 20 minutes, almost a whole hour of the routine the personal trainer laid out for me. I have realized, however, that I SUCK at pushing myself “to intensity” when I’m by myself… for example: with the PT I did 90 second of plank position on my forearms. Twice. Granted I felt like I was DYING, but I did it… at home I only lasted a minute each time. It’s better than nothing – but I feel like I really should have strived for those extra 30 seconds. We’ll see if I fair better in the gym environment since I always feel like people are watching me lol.

Stats for 12/13:

• total calories: 2040 calories - we went to this "Festival of Lights" thing with my mom and dad and ended up having Chik-Fil-A for dinner... if I had just stuck with the sandwich I would have been fine, but add in waffle fries and a lemonade and, well, not so much. I was still under my 2100 for the day so I guess I shouldn't be too concerned.
• calories burned: 350 - I'm not sure exactly how many calories I burned since it's hard to really calculate all the different moves together. I think I'm going to need to invest in one of those heart monitor watches that counts calories too. 
• 1 cigarette
• 11:30pm bedtime
• $5 spent on dinner ($35 left for the week)

Staying on track

This morning I woke up feeling like I didn't get near enough rest - and the thought of hitting the gym after work was less-than-pleasing. I already had my gym bag packed and ready to go, thank goodness because I was running HORRIBLY late already. I threw it in the car and headed to work with my breakfast-to-go in tupperware.. out into the 18 degree morning. The high tomorrow is estimated to be 26, with a low of 12.

IT'S NOT EVEN WINTER YET, MOTHER NATURE! GET WITH IT!!

This kind of cold coupled with the 4pm sunset is really wrecking havoc on my being-happy-and-motivated-ness.

Once I got into work and woke up a little bit I was feeling better about heading to the gym - only to realize that we made plans with my parents straight after work to go to this "festival of lights" thing out in Gainesville-ish, which is almost an hour away. We realistically probably won't be back home until 7 or 8pm and then I'll need to get James straight to bed. Basically this all means that if I want to try to go to the gym I probably won't actually get there until close to 9pm.. and I just don't think I'm willing to go that late since that will give me NO wind-down time after work/family stuff before it'll just be time for ME to go to bed. So my plan is to do what I can of the core workout I did with the personal trainer last week at home before bedtime. Or maybe I'll do one of my Jackie Warner 15 minute workouts. I am definitely going to try to do SOMETHING. And then definitely hit the gym tomorrow afternoon.

I did not even have the time to hop on the scale and take measurements this morning so I will be sure to do that tomorrow and give updates on that!

Stats for yesterday, 12/12:

• total calories: 1871 - muuuuch better than Saturday's totals. Plus, with the exception of a Lean Cuisine for dinner, I had ALL whole foods yesterday. I was quite proud of myself and felt 100 times better after eating all those fruits and veggies!
• no workout - my day consisted mostly of sleeping on my couch recovering from the 3am night.
• 3 cigarettes
• 12am bedtime
• $0 spent

Goals for this week:

• workout at least 4 times this week - at home, at the gym, wherever. Just get it done.
• get to bed by 11:30pm
• 2100 calories or less a day
• no more than 6 cigarettes a day
• no more than 3 alcoholic beverages per outing/get-together

Calorie overload - and the Tale of Two Wines

Yesterday was our good friends son's birthday party, so off we went for an afternoon of pizza, birthday cake and all-around good fun!

The party was definitely a success as far as the kiddos were concerned - and the adults too for that matter. After all the presents had been taken out of their box and assembled and batteries installed, we all settled in for some grown-up time with drinks and the promise of delicious dinner... courtesy of Steve's frier.

That's right. You read that correctly. Dinner via frier.

This is where it all starts to go wrong... lol

Evan and I head out to the grocery store to pick up things to fry - what a shopping trip! Shrimp, scallops, bacon to adorn the seafood, spinach and artichoke dip, cheesecake bites, etc, etc, etc. Oh. And I picked up 2 bottles of wine. One red, one white.

We get back from the store and I proceed to fix some bacon immediately in a skillet (well, actually it was a soup pot.. you don't get popped as easy that way. heh)... most delicious bacon EVER. Had about 4 or 5 pieces of that.. and then some FRIED bacon-wrapped scallops... and some FRIED shrimp... and then... cheesecake bites.

And all of that would have been just fine, albeit not incredibly healthy... but the kicker is that I then proceeded to drink about 7 glasses of wine.

And that is the story of how my calorie-intake for yesterday climbed to 3220.

I KNOW RIGHT?!

I'm incredibly disappointed in myself, but I also know that this is in NO WAY the norm for me. I probably haven't consumed that many calories in one day in almost a year - I think even while on vacation the highest my calories count got to was 2600. I don't have any desire to sit around stuffing my face with bacon and all sorts of fried foods every day - or every weekend either, for that matter! But this was definitely a HUGE hiccup in my general "good health" journey, not to mention the fact that I have no business drinking 7 glasses of wine in one evening. :-\  I said a little bit about cutting out alcohol in my post yesterday and I'm realizing more and more that I definitely need to do that if I can't start controlling my intake better.

So here are the staggering stats for 12/11:

• total calories: 3220 - it makes me want to throw up just looking at it. lol
• calories burned: 150 - we played one of those Wii dancing games, so I'm giving myself a LITTLE credit there. 
• lots of cigarettes.. lots and lots.. *dies*
• 3am bedtime *dies again*
• $0 spent thanks to Evan purchasing the groceries for the frier-ganza!

Okay, so here's to starting a new week with lots of exercise and good food decisions! 

Oh, drinking..

Last night hubby and I went out with a group of friends for drinks and karaoke.

Wine is really expensive at bars.

Beer is not.

Michelob Ultra is my friend.

Mango margaritas are not.

Stats for 12/10:

• total calories: 2210 - yes, that's 110 over my new limit of 2100. This is mostly thanks to the lunch at WENDY'S I had yesterday... yes, after I posted that big long thing about how I rarely eat fast food anymore. lol But it was definitely the mango margarita that put me over so much. I would have still been okay without that. 
• no workout - didn't make it to the gym which is okay.. I was so sore from my personal training session I'm not sure I could have really done much anyway. I'm still hurting today, actually. Ugh. Thinking about doing a little bit of yoga to stretch out before we head out for a kiddo birthday party. 
• 5 cigarettes - the booze kills me every time, man! EVERY TIME. I gotta cut that shit out... the drinking AND the smoking. I know I keep saying that but, ugh, I love drinking. lol  The last time I quit drinking I replaced beer with cola. Whenever I'd go out I'd order a coke instead of a beer.. but I HATE HATE HATE diet coke (plus artificial sweeteners are SO BAD FOR YOU), so I feel like calorie-wise that's not really gonna help me much. Although I guess I could use it to like "wean" myself off the alcohol for a bit... I dunno. We'll see about that. 
• 1:30am bedtime
• $20 spent ($0 left for the week/$63 left for the month)

Is there such a thing as "over-researching"?

Well, if you paid attention to that article I posted last week about "Working Out Like a Man" then... yes. But I can't seem to break my female intuition to come at things from "all angles".

I want to talk a little bit about caloric intake. How much is too much and how little is too little?

I feel like it's the forever-asked question when you're trying to not only exercise regularly but also eat healthy. "How many calories should I be eating?" From the hundreds of articles I've read on nutrition, it seems like eating 3000 calories worth of vegetables a day is not going to have the weight-gain effect that eating 3000 calories worth of, well, basically anything else would have. Most of us don't really love vegetables enough to eat enough veggies to add up to 3000 calories... especially considering most servings of veggies are 60 calories or less. I reach my "strive for 5" goal almost everyday. Sometimes I even have 10 or more servings of fruits and vegetables (keeping in mind that a serving size is one cup/one whole fruit - the salad I have for lunch and/or dinner alone is about 5 cups of lettuce, not including all the veggies I put IN the salad)... so I feel like I'm pretty good to go on that aspect. Since changing my eating habits I would say between 60 and 80% of my caloric intake comes from fruits and veggies - with the other 20-40% coming from meat/animal proteins, nuts/seeds, and whole-grains like oatmeal, whole wheat, etc. I eat very few processed foods/sugars these days and I'm incredibly proud of that. There are still days where I eat processed foods - basically if I'm eating at any fast food place - but those days are few. Plus I'm learning how to make healthier choices when it comes to fast food, as well as being conscious of what I'm eating at sit-down restaurants. Now I'm digressing a bit...

Lately I've been consuming between 1500-1800 calories a day. I'm having slow but steady success with this. And although I would like to think I've done an "excellent" job of exercising as well as changing my eating habits - that is just simply not true. There have only been maybe 3 weeks total (and not consecutive) that I've exercised 5 days/week, whether that be cardio or weight training or a combination of both. I've been pretty consistent with doing cardio 2-3 days a week... however for the kind of weight-loss I'm working toward and the type of body I want to come along with that weight-loss I know I need to really focus heavily on weight training and less on hours of cardio. The personal trainer I met with yesterday confirmed this for me - and the workout we proceeded to do after the consultation confirmed it even more. My heart is strong - my muscles are weak. The question running through my mind this morning though was: If I'm going to be strength training 4-5 days a week, will an average of 1600 calories/day be enough? And the resounding answer in my health/fitness/nutrition article stuffed brain was ABSOLUTELY NOT.

So I did a little research this morning. I think I may have talked a little bit about BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) in earlier posts - I'm going to revisit. BMR is the amount of calories your body would burn if you just laid in bed all day. In order to find out how many calories you could consume to maintain your current weight without any kind of exercise you would take your BMR x 1.2... for me this is (196lbs) approx. 2,040 calories. (FYI - this is called the Harris Benedict Equation, and you can find out more about it here, and this is the link I used to calculate my BMR.) This probably explains why I have only averaged about 1lb/week weight-loss, with several of those weeks seeing no loss whatsoever. I thought it was interesting that after two weeks of eating 200-400 calories a day (starting with my NLR trip) more than what I had been eating, I saw a 4 pound weight-loss in one week.

Using the Harris-Benedict Equation, and keeping in mind that it is more recommended for use by people that are close to a healthy weight (as is explained in the above link), if I can keep up my consistent work-out routine and continue to eat mostly whole foods, healthy fats, and avoid processed sugars - I should be eating closer to 2100 calories a day. I'm going to try this out for a few weeks and see how I fare.

It feels like this whole process is just one big experiment sometimes!

Okay, so, stats for yesterday:

12/9:

• total calories: 1591
• calories burned: I estimate about 450, maybe 500. I was continually exercising for about an hour and a half.
• 2 cigarettes
• 11pm bedtime - it felt sooooo goooooood
• $3 spent on Starbucks - lunch was free thanks to my buddy Derek! :)  ($18 left for the week)

Dyyyyyyiiiiinnnnnngggg

First, let me do yesterday's stats:

12/8:

• total calories: 2000 - as you can see I went a bit over my standard calorie intake. I'm not too concerned, actually. I think some variation during the week is good. As long as I'm not going over by like 500 calories and it's not happening everyday I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. I also ate almost all whole foods all day so those calories were high in nutrients.
• no workout - I was exhausted after work and incredibly sore from my workout Tues night. 
• 2 cigarettes
• 12am bedtime - had to stay up and watch the 6th Harry Potter! SO GOOD!
• $0 spent

Now, on to events that happened today... I had my personal training assessment and workout at the gym. One of those "free" dealies to get you sucked into giving the gym all your money. And what I discovered is: I'm incredibly out of shape. Like more out of shape than I ever wanted to admit to. Cardio? Sure thing. An hour of resistance training focusing on core? Please kill me now.

I thought I had a pretty strong core. Before I had a baby I was really proud of my flat toned tummy - and my 100 crunches I did every morning. Granted since having a baby my belly has never really been the same. I'm pretty sure almost every mother on the planet has experienced this. But apparently my core is SUPER weak. I had no idea how bad it was. Holding plank position for 90 seconds made me feel like I was gonna die. Not to mention how incredibly difficult it was to do certain other types of arm/leg exercises that require your core to balance you. Eff. After this hour I hopped on the elliptical to finish off the workout - and just moving my legs, I could feel my lower belly just SCREAMING at me. Tomorrow is gonna be hell I'm sure.

Good news: My legs are incredibly strong. To that I say: DUH. Have you SEEN my thighs? Yes, they're big.. but they aren't squishy. Nowhere close.

So since I'm a new member the personal training would cost half of what it usually does - unfortunately I can't spare the extra $120/month right now. It makes me want to cry pretty hard. Now I have a pretty good idea of what I need to focus on... lower core. In laymans terms? What I like to call: Mommy rolls. Or my baby pooch.

I have a pretty good idea of where I need to start - I can remember everything we did today during the workout. I really wish I had a gym buddy. I feel like such a fool doing floor exercises by myself. But I just have to get the fuck over that mess!!!

From an emotional standpoint: I definitely began the negative inner-monologue almost as soon as the workout ended. "Wow, Jess - way to get excited about losing 20 pounds the last 5 months... doesn't do you much good if you have no strength whatsoever.", etc, etc, etc... it also didn't help that this chick told me I was "off the scale" for BMI when I KNOW that when you take my build into consideration my actual height/weight ratio is just a little bit above normal -- not obese. BMI is really pretty flawed. If you really want to know how to assess your health by your height/weight, you have to use ALL your measurements - including like how big your wrists are, or how thick your arms are at the elbow. That kind of stuff. I know why gyms don't go by that - it takes a lot longer to get all those measurements and stuff. Anyways... I digress. So I started this negative inner-monologue almost immediately and my motivation to want to KEEP going to the gym took a nose-dive, as well as my desire to want to continue to count calories... and just kind of all that general "take care of yourself" stuff. I got in my car and just felt those negative feelings spiraling out of control and literally said out loud to myself, "STOP IT. You're being totally ridiculous. Now you know your trouble spots, you can WORK on them. You CAN get stronger, you CAN fix this. You're doing great. And the better your diet gets, the more weight you lose, the EASIER it will be for your body to do those exercises."

I'm feeling much better about it now. This is just another wake-up call - much like my wake-up call back in June I talked about in yesterday's post. I'm too heavy and my body is suffering and, if I don't do something about it, my health will start to suffer soon, too - especially as I get older.

SO! As I told Mike when he asked me how my personal training went, It was good and it was bad. I hated it because it made me realize how out of shape I really am and she made me work harder than I felt I really could/should (even though I did it) - and I loved it because it made me realize how out of shape I really am and because she made me work harder than I thought I could.

A Changing Outlook

I’m going to talk a little bit more about breaking the 200lb mark this week... and by "a little bit", I mean "a whole lot":

I’ve always been someone who didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to the number on the scale – I think part of that is because I’m so tall that I’ve always weighed more than I looked like I should, and always weighed more than 90% of my peers because of my height. It’s no fun listening to your 5’4 girlfriends complain about weighing a meager 120-125lbs and wearing a size 4 when the last time you weighed 125lbs you were 11… and never wore a size 4 because along with puberty came hips.

It took a long time for me to realize that being between 140 and 150lbs at 5’10 WAS super skinny. And that wearing a size 8 or 10 was pretty fantastic. Unfortunately by the time I realized that I had already started to gain a little weight. Honestly, I think being between 160 and 170 was a much healthier weight for me especially when you consider that I actually had muscle tone at that weight – whereas in high school being super thin, I was just that: super thin. Not toned. It was in my late teens that I stopped focusing on the scale and started paying more attention to how I felt in my clothing, how my clothing fit, and more on the sizes I was wearing. If I could still fit into my 10s and 12s and felt like I still looked good then I must not have gained too much weight. Even when I bumped up to a 14 I still felt pretty confident in the way I looked.

I’m sure I’ve said this before – but when I got pregnant I was the heaviest I’d ever been at 170lbs. I gained exactly what I should have during my pregnancy and 2 days before my son was born I weighed 205lbs. I lost almost all of that weight in the month after James was born – and then I became stressed and depressed due to certain circumstances most of you followers already know about… and I packed 25 of those 35lbs back on. I was a size 16 for the first time in my life, but I had just had a baby so I wasn’t really stressed over it. I never had trouble losing/maintaining weight in my life, why should now be any different? I finally got back into the gym in the summer of ’06, lost enough to fit back into my 14s, then fluctuated in the lower-to-upper 180s for a while. I got engaged in the beginning of ’08 and really started hitting the gym pretty hard and by that August, just in time for my wedding, I was down to my pre-baby weight of 170! Go me!!

When you get married and you have to get all that paperwork taken care of and all the administrative crap… someone should give you this disclaimer: Getting married can cause inexplicable weight gain...IN LARGE AMOUNTS. It’s just how life works. You’re not trying to impress anyone anymore, you’re happy, you’re probably going out to eat more, you’re not focused on hitting the gym everyday because you’re a NEWLYWED and you want to spend time with your NEW HUSBAND/WIFE. It’s VERY EXCITING! Add to this the fact that you continue to get older every year… shocking, I know… and it becomes harder and harder to lose all that “happy weight”.

Let’s fast forward to January 2010: I’ve just continually gained weight since I got married… I can no longer fit into a single pair of my size 14’s, and now my 16s have gotten too small. Instead of going to Target and purchasing a SCALE so that I can actually SEE how much weight I’ve gained in a little over a year, I decide to purchase new clothing… yes. That’s right. 18. I had to graduate to 18. I like to blame this on my 6 months stint on Prozac for lovely anxiety… but the reality is I got lazy, I ate crap, and if I had been taking care of myself I wouldn’t have gained nearly the amount of weight that I did over that 6 month period. When I went to the doctor that month I was at 206lbs. One pound heavier than I had been at 9 MONTHS PREGNANT!

(Quick FYI to the guys out there:  going from a size 14 to a size 18 in girl sizes is like going from a size 30 to a size 36 in dude sizes. It’s pretty substaintial.)

Okay, so you would think this GIANT LEAP to weighing more than I had when I was pregnant would have been some kind of huge wake-up call, right? WRONG. Instead I just got fucking depressed… and then by June I weighed a lovely 215lbs.

That was the wake-up call for me. That, and looking at pictures of my fat-self… lol…plus the realization that my size 18 pants were starting to feel tight. UNACCEPTABLE.

Being under 200lbs again feels amazing. It’s hard for me to articulate. I feel emotionally lighter. I feel like it IS actually possible for me to reach my “dream” weight. This is a HUGE thing for me. It’s hard to describe.

 In Spring of ’09 my gym offered me 2 free personal training sessions – I was at about 180-185 at the time… and the trainer asked me what my goal weight was and I went off on this whole thing about how I didn’t care if I weighed 180 for the rest of my life, I just wanted to be healthy, toned, strong… and he again asked me, “Okay, but what is your GOAL weight?” and I said 150, and then immediately added, “But I know I’ll never be that again. I’ve had a baby, I’m older now. I’d be happy with 170.” I wasn’t giving myself any credit. At the time 170 was a small loss for me. It was shortly thereafter that I stopped going to the gym regularly and began the process of gaining and gaining quickly.

Today I feel like 150 is an attainable goal. It might take another year, maybe a little more – but the point is that I KNOW I can get there. It’s all about small steps. A couple months ago I wanted to be at 200, I made it, I surpassed it! Now I’m focusing on 180.

The biggest thing is that now I enjoy taking care of myself, I enjoy eating right and learning about nutrition and how different foods help my body. I enjoy exercising and feeling the difference in my energy level and my emotional health. This has been an incredible experience for me! I’m really proud of myself!

<end rant>

Stats for 12/7:

• total calories: 1974 - yesterday was my MIL's birthday and we went to Olive Garden, and I would have done juuuuust fine if I hadn't had that margarita later in the evening... it's okay though. I hit the gym pretty hard before heading to dinner and my net calories for the day were only 1610. Not going to beat myself up over this one.
• calories burned: 364 - weight lifting for the win!
• 2 cigarettes - smoking has been really weird for me this last week. It's like I really WANT to smoke (especially when I'm drinking or with my smoker friends), but then when I do I feel really yucky and the next morning - no matter if I smoke 1 cigarette or 10 - I feel awful and my chest feels heavy and I'm all coughy and gross. Quitting has turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be for me. 
• 12am bedtime  - stayed up too late reading.
• $15 on drinks ($21 left for week - dinner was free thanks to my FIL!)

I haven't decided if I want to go to the gym tonight or not - I'm feeling like I might be coming down with a cold or something, and I have a personal training assessment tomorrow evening that I really really want to go to and don't want to reschedule. Maybe I'll do some yoga or something at home. 

Breaking the 200 mark!

So I stepped on the scale this morning... and... 196lbs!!!! Now I KNOW that extra 3lbs last Monday was just water weight, 'cause I know I didn't lose 7lbs in a week, especially since I didn't exercise AT ALL last week.

But 4lbs in a week is still pretty good. Nooooot gonna lie. I must be doing something right!

Stats for yesterday:

• total calories: 1521 - feeling pretty good about how well I've settled back into my good eating habits since being home from vacation. I was afraid it was going to be really hard for me, but I was actually looking forward to eating "real" food again and it's been no trouble at all keeping on track - especially the last 4 or 5 days.
• calories burned: 220 - got about 20 minutes in on the elliptical at the gym! I didn't have as much time to work out as I had hoped, but today I should be able to get some weights in and that will definitely feel good!
• 0 cigarettes - and, man, am I coughing up all KINDS of crap... gross. It's also helped that a) I haven't bought any, and b) it's FREEZING OUTSIDE
• in bed by 11:30pm... however my husband decided it would be lots of fun to keep me up talking until 1am... and not about anything serious. Just being silly and goofy - except that I was TRYING TO SLEEP. I'm exhausted this morning.
• $4 spent on lunch ($36 left for the week)

I was kind of disappointed I didn't get any reading time in last night - we watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and that ended about 11, and then an old friend of mine popped up on FB and I ended up going back and forth with her for about 20 minutes before finally just turning the light out for bed... only for my sleep plans to be thwarted as described above.

Tonight I'm hoping to get ALL my Christmas shopping finished!! After going to the gym, of course. I have my free personal training assessment/workout Thursday evening - I'm really excited about that. It will be great to actually have a "routine" again. 

I think this weekend I'm going to go out dancing - which I'm really looking forward to. Not only will it be tons of fun, but it will also be tons of cardio!

But for now.. back to work!

The weekend!

Stats...

12/4:

• total calories: 1546
• no workout
• 2 cigarettes
• 12am bedtime - I think? Maybe 1?
• $18 on ordering pizza (thin crust veggie!) ($6 left)

12/5:

• total calories: 1705 - I was at 1150, and then I went a little overboard with the Danish butter cookies (you know the kind that comes in the tin the stores sell every Christmas?), and then an entire bag of popcorn... LITE popcorn, though. 
• no workout
• 0 cigarettes
• 12am bedtime
• $0 spent

I forgot to weigh myself this morning so I'll get those stats tomorrow!

I started going to the gym again this week - I only had time for 30mins on the elliptical today, but it still felt great! Can't wait for tomorrow! I have my free personal training session and health assessment on Thursday, and I'm really looking forward to that.

Now - Harry Potter and some quality time with the hubby!

1st, 2nd, 3rd...

Of December - days I didn't post about.. yet.

Here we go!

12/1:

• total calories: 1824 - not too bad considering we had to eat out for lunch AGAIN since I couldn't make it to the grocery store... not having fresh food in the house sucks REAL bad. 
• no workout - been really lazy this week
• 6 cigarettes
• 12am bedtime
• $6 spent on lunch ($24 for the week)

12/2:

• total calories: 1656 - did muuuuch better on calories and finally had food in the house. Fruits and veggies are so delicious. I completely binged on them - and some almonds too. Mmmm. 
• no workout again... don't judge me.
• 0 cigarettes - woo!
• 10:30pm - I felt like I was definitely getting sick on Thursday and completely passed out on my couch at like 5:30pm... slept til 8... watching Gray's Anatomy at 9, and went BACK to sleep at 10:30. Felt muuuuuch better Friday though!
• $0 spent

12/3:

• total calories: 1856 - juuuust under my intake goal of 1877. That 600 calories worth of Woodchuck Hard Cider definitely didn't help, but I did really well the rest of the day. I really need to focus on this whole "don't drink so much" thing... 
• no workout... NEXT WEEK, I PROMISE. Maybe this weekend too.
• smoked, not sure how much though.
• 2am bedtime - I was SO pissed. I asked for my tab at MIDNIGHT and didn't end up getting my card back to sign until almost 1am. Worst waitress ever. Seriously. 
• $35 spent ($24 left for the week/$65 left for the month)

Why Guys Lose Weight Faster than Women and How to Steal their Secrets

Really great article! Thinking back on it... doing these things is what helped me lose so much weight right before my wedding. I lifted weights 3-4 times a week, and was only doing about 15-20mins of cardio 2-3 times a week...

Why Guys Lose Weight Faster than Women and How to Steal their Secrets

Water weight - not a myth!

Part of me has always felt like water weight (water retention) was kind of a cop-out for putting on a small amount of weight of a short period of time… but I learned this week that water weight does really exist and I experienced it for probably one of the first times in my life that I was consciously aware of.

I posted on Monday stating that I gained 3lbs while on vacation – I knew this to be true, my scale told me so and the way my pants fit confirmed the scale’s bad news. I also couldn’t comfortably have my belt on the 5th notch like I had been able to do for a couple weeks now.

Well, all day Monday I rehydrated… on any given day I drink between 64 and 100oz of water, however, while in NLR I think I’m lucky if I drank 32oz of water every day. I definitely noticed a difference in my energy level on a few days, and the amount of chapstick applications required lol. Tuesday morning I woke up, put on the very same work slacks I had worn the day before (c’mon, people, they’re work pants. You can wear them more than once.) with the same belt… and in a 24 hour period my pants went from fitted to loose, and I went back down to my 5th belt notch. Hydration for the win!

Water is pretty awesome. Not gonna lie.

Other good news: I FINALLY got my gym membership!!! I'm really excited about it! And my mom actually said that she was thinking about joining too so we can go together - which will be an EXCELLENT motivator for me. :)

Okay, so I know I didn’t post yesterday – work got a little insane and the evening was even busier for me. So here are two days worth of stats:

11/29:

• total calories: 2040 - 163 over my goal. I had a donut in the morning... and then after dinner I ate some triscuits and cheese and that's what killed me. That donut wasn't even that good. -.-   I was really hungry in the evening and I haven't had a chance to hit the grocery store since we got back so the only snack food was, well, snack food... instead of having lettuce and stuff to make a salad or fruit to eat. 
• no workout - exhausted from the drive still. 
• 3 cigarettes
• 11pm bedtime
• $4 spent on lunch ($36 for the week/$100 for the month)

11/30:

• total calories: 1872 - shy of my limit by just 5 calories. Beer intake is KILLING me. I really need to stick to white wine. Or start drinking that "diet" beer.. Mich Ultra, Bud Select 55.. bud they're gross. True fact. 
• no workout - shit got busy and the weather was awful. :-\
• 9 cigarettes.. ugggh. As I smoked my last cigarette of the night I realized.. I'm over it. And I'm so much MORE over it today now that I feel like a truck ran over my chest. Good riddance!
• 12am bedtime
• $6 spent on lunch ($30 for the week) - thanks to the utter lack of anything edible in our house since I've had not ANY time to go grocery shopping, we've had to eat out for lunch twice now. However, yesterday we went to subway where I had a turkey on wheat stuffed with veggies - it was SUPER good!

The plan for today is to hit the gym. I enrolled online, though, and haven't yet received my confirmation email so I'm not sure how that works exactly... I printed my contract with my electronic signature though, so I'm pretty sure I can just take that with me up there and get my keycard and stuff. However, if I don't make it I'm not going to kick myself - this week is mostly about getting back to good eating and getting plenty of rest to recover from the horrific drive home.

The End of Vacation

First let me say: I’m sorry for not keeping up with my posts as well as I should have – but it was vacation, afterall! Also, no stats with this post.

Well, I stepped on the scale this morning and I gained 3lbs and about a ¼ inch on my gut while in Arkansas. I have to say this wasn’t anywhere close to what I had expected, so I’m pretty happy! However this definitely is telling of how quickly weight gain can sneak up on you.

I was still counting calories for most of my trip and then Weds night and the rest of the week/weekend I gave up. Mostly I was just busy. I’m pretty sure there were only one or two days that I broke the 2500 mark – with the amount of alcohol consumed I definitely breached the 1800 mark every day, but I’m okay with that.

I did at least walk every day while I was down there – Mon I took a quick 15 minute job, Tues. I jogged for 2.5 miles in about 40 minutes, Weds I took about an hour long walk with my cousin, Thurs I played football for about 30 minutes, Friday I walked for 40 minutes with my uncle Marvin and the dogs. This, I think, was the first week I actually got in 5 consecutive workouts/walks/runs! Too bad I was eating so much the whole week otherwise I might have actually lost something.. lol  “I’m soooo full” was the story of my life while I was there. I feel like all we did was EAT!

This week my focus is to take off those 3lbs I packed back on, to get some good hard exercise in, and hopefully finish this book I’m reading. I realized a few days ago, aside from Walking Dead, I haven’t read in probably 2 months. I really enjoy reading and I think it really helps keep my stress levels low, so I need to make finding a good book every couple weeks a priority.

I talked to Mike this afternoon about getting a gym membership – he says he needs to “think about it”. Hopefully he’s okay with us spending the extra $30/month, and hopefully he’ll be done thinking about it before Wednesday when the offer expires. :-p

Weight update

Well, I forgot to weigh myself this morning until AFTER I had already eaten breakfast and gotten dressed... so with those things considered, the outcome was pretty awesome... 200lbs! Still! lol This will have been almost a month of no weight change. My measurements are holding strong too. So not much change. Oh well. Better than having gained 5 pounds from all the restaurant food I've been eating!!

Stats for 11/23:

• total calories: 1770 - right at my limit.
• calories burned: 250 - went for a 20 min run
• I don't even know how many cigarettes... I've been terrible since I've been down here. 
• 12am bedtime
• I'm not counting spending this week since we're on vacation.

On vacation

Sorry I haven't posted since, what, thursday? I left for vacation Friday afternoon and then was busy driving for two days.. and yesterday I was exhausted from the two days of driving. But I'm all caught up on my calorie tracking now and I have internet access so here we go!

I'm just going to give you a quick overview of the last few days... just calories and what I consumed to get those calories:


Thursday, Nov. 18th:

• total calories: 1387 - but I skipped dinner this day. I got real stressed out in the afternoon and worked myself all up and ended up making myself nauseated and panicky for most of the afternoon/evening. Eating was the last thing on my mind. For breakfast I had some oatmeal, and then some almonds for a snack, but the bulk of my calories came from a BBQ stuffed potato at this local place called Dixie Bones. I estimated it was about 1'000 calories after adding in all the cheese, sour cream, bbq sauce.. and of course the pork. Keep in mind this was a 1 pound potato... !!!
• no workout mostly due to the crazy stress and having to get everything packed and ready to go for our vacation.

Friday, Nov. 19th:

• total calories: 1589 - I'm amazed I did this well considering we had CRACKER BARREL for dinner.. being on the road makes for really bad eating choices. For me, anyway. Although I did pack SUPER healthy snacks for the road - so kudos to myself on that. 
• no workout, just 10 hours of DRIVING.. ugggh. I seriously thought about taking advantage of the fitness room at our hotel the following morning when we first got in... but then I slept like crap and probably only had about 4 hours of hard sleep total so my motivation was zilch. Plus there was that whole.. another 6 hours of driving thing ahead of me. 

Saturday, Nov. 20th:

• total calories: 2123 (!!!!) - Yeah. That's almost 300 calories over my daily allowance. Here's where I screwed the pooch: We stopped at STEAK'N'SHAKE for lunch. That place is SOOOOO freakin' delicious... but when you consider that I had a burger with guacamole on it... well.. I should have known my calories would be blown out of the water. Even though the guac calories/fat were GOOD calories/fat.. I'm sure the rest of the burger and the fries were mostly certainly NOT. And then their computers went down and it took 30 mins to be able to pay our check, so we got free milkshakes... at about 400 calories a piece. I only drank half of mine. but still. My lunch alone was almost 1200 calories. Then my grandparents ordered pizza for dinner since the football game was on.. I was still pretty full from lunch so I only had 2 slices, but that still set me back 500 calories thanks to the pepperoni topping. Vacation calories don't count, right? lol
• no workout - again, lots of driving and exhaustion. 

Sunday, Nov. 21st:

• total calories: 1659 - this completely blew me out of the water. I thought for sure I was looking at a 3'000 calorie day, honestly. We had US Pizza for lunch - but I ordered the veggie pizza and the slices there are incredibly small so even thought I had like 5, I'm thinking it was the equivalent to about 3 slices of pizza hut thin crust pizza. Oddly enough what gave me the most calories was the salad supreme... their house dressing is just simply decadent. I tried to only used about 2 tbsps of it, but I'm sure that alone was probably 200 calories and 20g of fat! Then we had japanese steakhouse food for dinner.. looking up the hibachi stuff online I was pretty surprised at how "healthy" it is. And I didn't eat really any of my fried rice so that saved me a lot too. 
• again, no workout. 

So my goal for today is to get some exercise in - this is vacation so I'm not going to stress of my eating too much, but just focus on making good choices when I have the opportunity and focus on getting some good exercise EVERY DAY. I don't really have much else going on in the morning/mid-afternoons, there's no reason I can't squeeze at LEAST 4 workouts in this week.

Tonight we're supposed to be going out for Mexican with my uncles, and I'm thinking I'm probably going to get either carne asada or steak fajitas - but just eat the steak and veggies and leave the tortillas alone. That should keep dinner to under 500 calories. No idea what the plan for lunch is yet - but I'm thinking if we hit a restaurant I'm probably going to opt for a salad...assuming the salads don't seem like that be worse for me than a regular old sandwich or something. lol

So, again, I'm sorry for neglecting the blog but as you read I've been pretty caught up with life! Now that we're here and settled I should be able to update on a daily basis with no problem. I just have to make the time. :)

ps - I will post weight and measurements later. I'm going to measure at my Granny's house later today since I know she has a tape measure, and once my Uncle Mark wakes up I'll go borrow his scale.. here's to hoping I have gained 5 pounds in just the last 3 days!!!

*sounds of a cheering crowd*

So, even though I didn’t make my walk yesterday since a) my mom wasn’t feeling well, b) the wind was blowing about a million miles an hour down from Canada making it REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE OUTSIDE (screw Canada and the cold wind they send this way), and c) had to finish laundry/cleaning/shopping/start packing for our trip (tomorrow!!!!)… I did an amazing job on my eating. An AMAZING job.

I read this article yesterday at Huffington Post about how drastic changes in your diet can actually reverse heart disease. The type of eating that this doctor was encouraging was, basically, clean eating – what he called “nutritarian” eating – where 90% of your calories come from nutrient rich plant-foods: vegetables, beans, fruits, nuts and seeds. He actually makes HUGE points of getting out of the “low-fat” frame of mind and focusing on “good fats” - things like nuts, seeds, avocados, olive oils, etc., and for your main starchy carbohydrate to be beans.  It was really interesting. If you want to take a look, you can read it here.

Yesterday I ate oatmeal, almonds, salads (for lunch and dinner), triscuits with low-fat cheese, grapefruit, apple, shrimp sautéed in olive oil spread and minced garlic with some low-fat fettucini alfredo (some of that dry mix you can buy and then heat with water and milk).. the alfredo was probably the worst thing I ate the whole day and it was only about 300 calories for the serving.

Stats for 11/17:

• total calories: 1500
• no workout - although I probably got some exercise running up and down the stairs all night doing laundry and speed walking around Target to get the last of the things for our trip. 
• no cigarettes
• 11:30pm bedtime
• $0 spent

here comes my 19th nervous breakdown...

I must must MUST get better about updating my blog on a DAILY basis instead of this every other day routine I seem to be falling into.

So I bumped my caloric intake down for this week. I use MyPlate to track my calories and they have a little calculator that tells you how many calories you should eat to lose or gain however many pounds per week. So I would, ideally, like to be losing about 1.5 pounds a week – so this little calculator dealie told me I should be consuming 1877 calories/day or less. Okay, fair. I can totally do that.

Then… I go out for beers last night and blow my calorie count by 48 calories. 48 maybe not SEEM like a lot… but you consider that I consumed 550 calories worth of BEER last night… that makes it seem pretty awful. I even told myself I was just going to have 2 glasses of white wine (about 200 calories, give or take) and then drink water… but I just didn’t want to pay the $6 a glass or whatever it was… yeah, so I spent $20 on beers instead.. plus tip.. because I drank FIVE of them. FML. Seriously.

Other things to derail my healthy eating this week… had to take the kiddo to the doctor yesterday morning – find out he has a sinus infection, which sucks pretty hard for the little dude – but the appointment was at 11:30am.. which means he missed lunched at daycare.. so what do we have for lunch? Ah, yes, the World-Wide Little Kid Favorite Food: MCDONALDS! Now, I got myself a kid’s meal with a tea instead of soda so I kept it under 550 calories there. But it’s still fucking McDonald’s. And it pretty much killed my sodium intake for the day. I did have some baked salmon and wild rice for dinner though… so I feel like I made it up to myself a little bit there. Although I cooked at my mom’s and she didn’t have any vegetables for some reason, so I didn’t even come close to my “strive for 5” yesterday. I’m so envious of Emily and her brilliant job at clean eating!

Part of me kind of feels like, “Oh, stop beating yourself up because you’re about to leave for vacation and you’re pretty much going to give in to all your vices and eat like shit while you’re there. May as well just start over when you get home.” But I don’t really WANT to eat like shit and I certainly don’t want to feel like I have to “start over” on anything. I want to just move FORWARD. Consistently. I’m sure I will probably bust my calories several times – I mean, let’s be real. It’s THANKSGIVING. But I generally want to try to make good choices.. even if I’m just eating massive quantities of those good choices.  Plus another part of me feels like it won’t be so bad because I will actually have the time and opportunity to exercise EVERY DAY. And that will be so brilliant!

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. …now watch me lose like 10 pounds while I’m there. Hahaha!

Okay so stats for the last couple days…

11/15:

• total calories: 1798 - I was starving almost ALL DAY on Monday. I don't know what the deal was. So I ate a lot more than I usually do, although I tried to make sure I was stuffing myself with healthy choices like apples, wheat thins, pistachios, etc.
• calories burned: 500 - so I actually clocked the walk/runs my mom and I have been doing.. and turns out it's more like 2.5 miles than 3, so I've probably been a little off on the amount of calories I've been burning. Today we jogged almost the whole thing. It felt amazing! 
• no cigarettes - day 2
• 10:30pm bedtime - WOO! GO ME!
• $4 on lunch ($36 left for the week)

11/16:

• total calories: 1925 - we discussed this above. Beer is evil. The End.
• no workout - it rained like a mofo yesterday.. I planned to do a workout dvd at home, but then hung at my mom's til like 7pm or so and had to meet up with folks at 8pm, so I didn't really have the time. Poop.
• ...3 cigarettes. Begin again. *facepalm*
• 1am bedtime - I actually got home around 11:30pm, but I stayed up late reading. AND NOW I HAVE NO MORE WALKING DEAD COMICS!! NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!
• $23.. on beer... -.- ($13 left for the week. EFF!!!)

Oh, also.. I forgot to mention this last week - but I bought some new jeans and a bunch of long-sleeve T's and sweaters because I realized I have, like, NO WINTER CLOTHES. Word? So get this.. I got a HELLUVA deal because a friend sent me an invite to the Gap Give+Get sale, and I had a TON of cashback from Discover.. so I was able to trade in $80 of my Discover Cashback for a $100 Gap gift card (!!!) so I got almost $300 worth of Gap clothing for... wait for it... $98!!! Brilliant, eh? Plus free shipping. Damn straight. I'm so amazing. Heh. 

Anyways, so that leaves me with only $2 left in my monthly fund, but I'm pretty sure I'll do just fine with that. 

I'm getting so excited for my trip to NLR!! Only two days!!! Or "two sleeps" as I tell James. :)

Plateau

Body stats beginning of Week 6:

·         200lbs. – again no loss. But now that I’m back into an exercise routine maybe we’ll see the change.

·         Waist: 34inches - that's another half inch!!

It seems I’ve hit a bit of a plateau on my weight-loss and it sure seems awfully early in the process for that to be happening… but I’m pretty sure it’s more my laziness than it is an actual plateau. I’ve just got to keep up the regular exercise and really start pushing myself a little more. I’m sure it would also help a ton to start lifting weights again since I’ve completely pooped out on that for almost 3 weeks now.

Stats for Sat/Sun:

11/13:

·         Total calories: 1880 – probably my highest calorie count in a while. It was the wine. In large quantities.

·         Calories burned: 550 – I did my 3 miles today even without my mom and I even jogged about half of it! I’m really proud of myself. I felt amazing afterward!

·         I made it 4 days without smoking and then broke down and had a couple Saturday night at a friend’s party. Restart.

·         2:30am bedtime. EESH.

·         $0 spent

11/14:

·         Total calories: 1679

·         No workout – I’m a little disappointed in myself here because my mom totally called to ask if I wanted to walk in the afternoon and I opted out because I was EXHAUSTED from staying up too late the night before. Then Mike and I were gonna go before James got home from his dad’s but we opted to clean out the car for our upcoming trip instead and by then it was dark and James was gonna be home any minute. I’m sure cleaning out the car burned SOME calories, at least that’s what I’m telling myself. Lol

·         Didn’t smoke – day 1

·         12am bedtime – then proceeded to have zombie nightmares all night. Damn Walking Dead…

·         $5 spent on starbucks

So I’m excited to do my walk this afternoon – I even packed a bag of workout stuff this morning and brought it to work so I don’t have to waste any time! I’m going to try to jog some of it again today too. I have to be careful about jogging though because I get shin-splints really easily and they’re incredibly painful. If I get them that will set me back a LOT I know, so I really have to watch it.

The hubby came home from his “guys night” with fever last night. He’s definitely caught whatever virus James brought home from school last week. I’ll be pumping myself full of water and vitamin C this week (and exercise!!) in an effort to avoid contracting the virus just in time for us to leave for our trip. This, unfortunately, also ruins our plans of taking a half-day of work Friday to get on the road at a decent time. *sigh* Yay for driving until 2am!! 

Getting it together

Stats first..

11/11:

• total calories: 1909 - that's probably the most I've eaten in a couple weeks at least. I was SO HUNGRY all day. It was bizarre. Might have had something to do with the fact that I actually exercised for the first time in a while.
• calories burned: 500 - 3 mile walk with mom which basically should have been a run we were going so fast! 3 miles in 30 mins is pretty hardcore.. for me anyway.
• 0 cigarettes - day 2!
• 11pm bedtime
• no money spent

11/12:

• total calories: 1666 - that's including lunch at Wendys (jr hamburger with a side salad) AND going out for pizza.. but I got veggie-covered pizza, no meats and it was SO DELICIOUS.
• calories burned: 500 - another 3 mile power walk with mom. Hoping to go today too!
• 0 cigarettes - day 3!!!
• not sure what my bedtime was.. I passed out on the couch while watching Dracula and then Mike woke me up when he went to bed at 2:30am.. but I'd been asleep WELL before that.
• $15 spent to go out for dinner ($7 left)

I've really enjoyed these walks the last couple days - I'm just a little sad and disappointed that it's going to be too frigid to keep it up soon. Probably by the time we get back from Little Rock the temps will be low enough that walking in the evenings will just be too uncomfortable. :(

I'm planning ahead to my trip - I'm definitely bringing "workout" clothes so I can either join my Uncle Marvin at his gym or at least get a walk/run in just around their neighborhood or the lake. I'm definitely excited to have access to so many walking/running paths and neighborhood streets that don't have regular traffic coming through. It'll definitely help for my motivation. Plus I have a tendency to actually get to bed at a decent time when I'm down there (with maybe the exception of actual Thanksgiving evening).

I'm really proud of the food choices I've made this week. Even at Wendy's where there was a huge temptation to just get the fries to go with my burger - or even worse, break down and go the crispy chicken sandwich mayo and all! - I got the salad, only used about 1/4 of the dressing and didn't even open the croutons. I've also gotten back to eating my giant salads at home during the week and making my fruit smoothies so I'm getting a good amount of fiber. Plus I've gotten so much better at planning for dinners - making sure I get chicken/beef/fish thawed in time to be able to cook a healthy meal, keeping my fridge stocked with veggies to steam and making sure I have brown rice in the pantry to make little rice bowls if need be. I've also started buying sweet potatoes which are not only super good for you, but also super delicious and really filling. Some nights I just have that for dinner with maybe a small salad and it's really satisfying.

I know there's going to be a lot of eating out going in Little Rock, which is a big reason why I'm trying to keep myself in line with exercise while I'm down there. If I can make sure I'm burning calories everyday then I shouldn't have to be too cautious about what I'm eating for dinner every night. The killer for me will be alcohol consumption while I'm down there - but I'm going to try to stick to wine since that won't bust me as bad caloric-wise.

One other thing I'm really proud of: I'm finally able to comfortable wear some of my size 16's now. Hopefully by the beginning of December they'll start actually feeling "roomy". I would love to be back down to a 14 by my birthday in April. I feel like that's an incredibly realistic goal. April being 5 months away and all. I've lost about 10 pounds since the beginning of September. So, about 6 weeks. It may even be more than that since I think maybe I was probably lying to myself quite a bit about my "start weight" back in end of August/beginning of September. From what I can find on my other regular blog I was saying I was 207lbs.. I'm pretty sure I was probably closer to 210 or 212.. also I think my scale was probably totally off and now I have a scale that actually WORKS so maybe it's been more like a 12 pound weight loss. Honestly, if I can just get UNDER 200lbs I will be ECSTATIC.

...how sad it that? lol

So my truthiest truthiness on my weight - I seriously for real am right at 200lbs right now. Now I can finally gauge accurately my progress over the next couple months. Back to the size-14-by-April thing... if I can lose 15 more pounds in the next 5 months (which is less than a pound a week) then I figure I'll be able to fit my 14's again. That's a truly exciting prospect. But for now I'm just gonna be ridiculously happy about fitting into my 16's again. :)

Inspiration

It definitely helps to motivate to workout when your mom calls and asks you to walk with her after work. Woo! Although I'm really wishing I had taken my "floating holiday" today for Veteran's Day and then could've walked while the sun is still up... live and learn.

Stats for 11/10:

• total calories: 1270 - yup you read that right. That's even WITH eating lunch out and eating every couple hours. I'm finally figuring out this whole low-calorie snacking thing.. ie: fruit and/or popcorn. Normally I would be concerned that this calories intake was too low, but considering I haven't exercised all week it's probably a good thing.
• no workout
• no cigarettes... what? I only just realized that as I typed. GO ME!
• 11:30pm bedtime
• $3 spent ($22 left)

I found out basically NOTHING in making gym phone calls.. everywhere wants you to "drop by". It's like, NO! JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH MONEY YOU WANT TO STEAL FROM ME, DAMNIT! 

It just really can't be that hard.

Now I'm feeling like maybe I should just hold off on doing all that right now anyway since we leave for Arkansas in a week and will be gone 10 days. Is that bargaining? Although I AM going to see if my Uncle Marvin can hook me up with a guest pass for his gym while we're down there... since I really won't be doing a whole lot during the day while we're there and there's no reason I can't get my butt moving for an hour or less during that time. Or at least maybe Maury and I can walk-it-up once she gets down there. 

Oh, man.. I am SO EXCITING to get down there and see everybody!!!

just a bunch of frick-a-frack..

two days worth of stats... of course... because I've become the ultimate slacker. :-\

11/8:

• total calories: 1664
• no workout - because I'm a lazy fuck
• probably about 6 cigarettes having coffee with my girl Karen that I hadn't seen in MONTHS. Yep, so much for quitting smoking this week. :-\
• 12:30am bedtime - Walking Dead comics are KILLING MY BEDTIME SCHEDULE
• $5 on lunch AND starbucks ($35 for the week)

11/9:

• total calories: 1420 - this is including having 3 beers last night. I pretty much lived off of salad yesterday. 
• no workout - AGAIN. UGH.
• again, cigarettes. Not even sure how many 6 or 7? I'm such a brilliant quitter.
• 1am bedtime.. bar+walking dead comics = NO SLEEP
• $10 on beers ($25 for the week)

I'm not doing so great this week. Over the last 3 weeks I've slowly been declining on my motivation. Don't really know what the deal is. However, I DID actually make phone calls to a couple gyms.. so that's something. And I've done an excellent job keeping my calories in check... unfortunately I'm 99% sure I'm one of those people that just can't lose weight on calorie cutting alone. 

Right quick!

Body stats beginning of Week 5:
Weight: 200lbs - no change since last week
Waist measurement: 34.5 inches - half inch loss!

I feel like I haven't accomplished "enough" for entering my 5th week of this. Granted, I've been slacking these last couple weeks. And I feel like a broken record at this point.. but gym. I need to GYM!!! I swear, I swear, I will call some places this week. And tomorrow night my plan is to go by the rec center where my buddy works and can hopefully getting me in for cheap to do my workout there for the night. *crosses fingers*

Stats for 11/7:

• total calories: 1588 - not too bad.
• no workout
• 3 cigarettes - theoretically my last cigarettes
• 12:30am bedtime - The Walking Dead comics are SO ADDICTING!!!!
• $6 spent on Starbucks for breakfast (and I wonder why I didn't lose any weight this week. -.-)

So I pretty much only spent about $25 this week. Go me! And spent none of my month fund so I'm pretty sure I've got all $100 of that intact... if I'm remembering correctly.

Overview for week 5:
- 2000 calories or less a day
- gym-it-up/walk/workout dvd 5 days a week
- avoid smoking
- avoid beer
- get to bed by or before 11:30pm on weeknights
- focus on clean eating
- restart sugar detox

On giving myself the weekend...

Friday and Saturday's stats...

11/5:

• total calories: 2041 - definitely took it over my limit by drinking beers Friday night. BUT the following stat kind of cancels that out...
• calories burned: 550 - yay for super long quick-paced walks!
• 10 cigarettes
• 2am bedtime - thanks, not to being out drinking oddly enough, but to The Walking Dead comics!!
• $10 spent on beers

11/6:

• total calories: 1675 - including the wine I drank. Wine is DEFINITELY a better option as far as caloric intake... and drunkeness factor as well lol. Definitely cutting back on the beer for the next few weeks.
• no workout
• 8 cigarettes
• 2am bedtime - but not really because Daylight Savings ended, so really it was only 1am.. heh. 
• $0 spent

So I gave myself the weekend to smoke as much as I wanted and I did pretty well... except when I was drinking. And it's not even one or two drinks... it's when I reach that "tipsy" point. That's the kicker. So I'm realizing I gotta cut back on the alcohol in order to cut out the smoking. I'm okay with this. Because waking up NOT hungover on Saturday mornings it pretty bad-ass. Not gonna lie.

I should have taken some time to go check out gyms this weekend, but I napped a lot instead. The winter coming in is KILLING me and now with DST ended, and it's getting dark at 4:30 or 5, it's going to be harder and harder to motivate. I know myself. I know this to be true. I think I had a little bit of that "Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder".. yes, that's right, I'm SAD. heh. Also, my husband is telling me he doesn't think we can afford a gym membership for me... but I may just get one anyway since I think I can cut back on other things (y'know, like SMOKING) to come up with the $30 or $40 a month.

For this week I'd like to try to keep up with my walks as much as possible before the frigid temperatures set in, and also throw in some power yoga a few times a week which will hopefully help with the S.A.D. and also the smoking/drinking.

Weight/waist measurements tomorrow! 

Slowly getting back on track..

Here's the skinny (body stats) for Week 4:

• 200lbs
• 35inches at natural waist (the whole "measure at the belly button thing didn't seem to work for me - like I couldn't figure out how to measure EXACTLY the same spot each week)

Stats for 11/3:

• total calories: 1328 - just a quick interjection to say that I've done REALLY well on my calories lately. I rarely cross the 1800 barrier anymore and have just naturally become more conscious of what I can and can't afford to put in my mouth. I did great avoiding processed sugars until Halloween weekend - but I'm not going to beat myself up over that. It's all about moving forward and getting back on track.
• calories burned: 370 - walked last night, which is actually the first time I've exercised since LAST Wednesday... my mantra this week has been "Keep your calories in check" -- as long as I'm not binging missing a couple days of exercise is okay, and my conscience needs to lay off the guilt-trips. 
• *cringes* 6 cigarettes. Yes. Yes, I know. I wrote a BIG HUGE LONG blog post yesterday about quitting the smoking... but if you'll also remember, I was quite honest in that I was FREAKING out about it. Well, here's the thing: I realized perhaps trying to add another goal to my routine in the middle of the week wasn't the most brilliant idea I've ever had. So next week, starting Monday, I add the "Avoid Smoking" goal for myself. Perhaps the "Avoid Alcohol" will need to be added as well.
• 12am bedtime - I seriously want to work on this bedtime thing. 6-7 hours a night just isn't cutting it for me. I need that full 8 hours and I feel SO MUCH better and am more likely to get my workouts in when I feel well-rested. 
• $8 spent so far for the week ($32 left/$100 for the month of November)

I've really, really, been thinking about this gym thing the last week or so -- I keep saying I'm going to go check out some places and get a membership but I just haven't had the chance yet. It's incredibly frustrating. Today, here in Virginia, it is supa cold and raining and dark and just all around disgusting.. today would be the perfect day to grab my iPod and hit the gym for some elliptical trainer action and perhaps even some weights. But, alas, I have no membership. Maybe today is the day I go to check out some gyms and get it done. My ideal goal is to replace the smoking with the exercise - because honestly the more I exercise the less I WANT to smoke. It all sounds good to me!

No Smoking - Day 1

I know I've been terrible about posting the last 5 days or so and I know you're owed stat updates and all that diet/exercise stuff... but I just got sat down at work with my MIL (who I happen to also work for) and with tears in her eyes told me how disappointed she was that I'm a smoker... Mike got the talk too.. but it really hurt my feelings. And I pulled that whole smoker thing of making excuses.. and honestly I really am just a social smoker. It's not even something I think about on a normal day. But it doesn't matter because I quit for almost 3 month back in February... and then I started back with smoking like maybe 3 or 4 cigarettes a week... and then a pack a week... and I've noticed lately instead of going my normal Mon. - Thurs. without a single cigarettes, I've been buying packs every 3 days or so and smoking at home, not just at the bars, and not just with an alcoholic beverage in hand.

I've been bargaining with myself.

Now, I've talked plenty about bargaining with myself over food and exercise, but I'm realizing quitting smoking is probably the most important thing I can do for myself. It's funny how I can vote on Maury's poll with my vote being "not smoking" as the most important thing for her... and yet I didn't realize until just now that it's incredibly important for me too. And I'm doing a great disservice to myself to say, "It's okay to go through a whole pack Friday/Saturday nights and the occasional Wednesday or Thursday night since I don't smoke at all or hardly at all the rest of the week."

It's not okay.

If I'm gonna do this I need to just DO IT and quit making excuses and quit cutting deals with myself. I also know it's time because as I write this I'm TOTALLY FREAKING OUT about not being able to go out tonight or tomorrow, or even just chill at home tonight, without smoking if I feel like it. That definitely is not a "social smoker" mentality, that a smoker-smoker mentality lol.

I know I'm going to have breaking points. I know there are going to be days where I'm gonna break down and smoke. And I know that I need to take all that in stride and just start over the next day... but I also know that I can't be "restarting" every two days. Or three days. Or week. I've gotta commit. I've done it before and there's no reason I can't do it again.

On another quick note:
My brand new scale that told me I was at 206lbs last week informed me yesterday morning (even WITH JEANS ON) that I am now *drum roll please* 200lbs. EXACTLY!!! I'm very excited. I even was able to wear one of my old belts this morning... woo!!

NOT staying on track... at all..

Okay, so first of all let me going ahead and throw out stats for the last, what? 3 days? Geez louise...

10/26:

• total calories: 1538
• calories burned: 300 - 2 mile walk with Keeley, we got it done in just under half an hour! We were hoofin' it!
• 7 cigarettes - politcal conversations with the hubby make for lots of smoking. heh.
• 12am bedtime
• nothing spent

10/27:

• total calories: 1276 - went out for sushi with my Dad for dinner.. sushi is SUPER low in calories!!
• calories burned: 220 calories - walked with my dad for about 45 mins. after dinner.
• 4 cigarettes
• 11pm bedtime
• nothing spent - dad's treat for sushi!

10/28:

• total calories: 1831 - WORST DAY EVER. I got sent to this horrible seminar/schmooze event for work... it was awful... and they had catered in for lunch. The sandwiches and stuff weren't too horrible as far as I could tell for calories... but I had a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie and like this tiny itty bitty double fudge brownie thing. And that right there I estimated at easily being about 400 calories. Stupid catered food... 
• no workout/walk
• 6 cigarettes
• 11:30pm bedtime
• $5 spent on beer w/ friends ($30 left for the week)

Well, I originally started this post thinking, "Geez, I haven't exercised hardly at ALL this week.." but then when I was looking at my food/fitness tracker I realized I'd completely forgot about the walk with my Dad Wednesday night - so maybe I'm not doing so bad after all. 

I'm seriously considering going to get a gym membership after work today. With the weather getting colder and the days getting shorter I know my motivation to get my cardio done at home is going to plummet - and shortly after I give up on cardio I know I'll give up my resistance training too. It's a really vicious cycle for me every Fall/Winter. 

I'm so proud of all you other fitness bloggers out there and your amazing accomplishments over the last month! Hopefully I will catch up to you at some point here.. it makes me wonder sometimes if maybe I've got some kind of body chemistry imbalance going on that makes it harder to lose weight. Although I'm sure my inability to really follow any kind of diet plan to a "t" and my inconsistent workouts are more to blame than anything else. 

Oh well. 

Onward!!

struggling..

For some reason I have just NOT wanted to update my blog. I think this may have to do with a subconscious feeling of failing, and guilt over not sticking to what I originally laid out for myself. Maybe I took it too quickly. Maybe I made my goals too large or too over-the-top. Maybe I'm just a lazy loaf who doesn't want to have to exercise and eat right every moment of every day to look and feel my best. WHO KNOWS?! I'm think it's probably more of the latter than anything else...

So I bought that new scale... if we all remember... rated number 1 by Consumer Reports for accuracy and consistency... well I got on that scale yesterday morning and it informed me that my weight is.. 206lbs. *deflated*

I don't think I gained any weight, but I think my old scale was just off by 5lbs. - oh well. So, my "new" weight is 206lbs. Maybe this means I was quite a bit heavier than I thought I was to begin with. It's still an accomplishment! At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. I'd really like to hit the Dr's office or the gym where they have those big scales... a REAL scale. Oh well.

I totally forgot/didn't have time to take measurements. I've been really bad about that. But my clothes continue to fit better everyday, so there must be SOME improvement there.

Body stats for Week 3
Weight: 206lbs.
Waist measurement: TBD

Stats for 10/25:

• total calories: 1686
• calories burned: 200 - did 15 mins of circuit training, wasn't able to get my walk in. Poop.
• cigarettes: 2
• 11:30pm bedtime
• $5 on lunch ($35/week, $44/month)

I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my body right now -- according to several different sites my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate or daily energy expenditure) with a "light activity level" is between 2400-2500 calories... I'm regularly keeping my calorie intake below 1800 regardless of if I'm working out or not. I should be losing roughly about a pound to a pound-and-a-half a week. I'm worried I'm not really losing anything, and I think that's probably due to my general lack of discipline. :-\   I lost 2 pounds that first week doing the jump-start.. at least I THINK I did... that could have been because my batteries in my old scale were getting ready to die and it wasn't working properly... but.. anyway.. ugh. I feel like I maybe need a do-over. 

I'll post my weekly goals a little later.

The post of a thousand updates!

4 days worth of stats for you guys... I really have to get better of posting on the weekends, it's just so hard for me 'cause we keep to busy! :-\

stats for Thurs. 10/21:

• total calories: 1933 - had Arby's for lunch which tasted HORRIBLE to me.. I think I may have finally broken my addiction to fast food. 
• calories burned: 400 - another 3 mile walk! Took it a little slower this time due to feeling nauseous and having a terrible headache.
• 9 cigarettes - went out for beers.. this always breaks me.
• 12am bedtime
• $18 spent between lunch and going out.

stats for Fri. 10/22:

• total calories: 1627 - ate healthy all day with the exception of having a cookie. I need to really reign in my sugar intake again - I'm starting to bargain with myself on that and I feel the most important part of this lifestyle change is breaking that addiction to processed sugars.
• calories burned: 0 - I did not get a workout in. Mike had already left for the weekend, I was exhausted, I had to get my parents dog and bring him to the house and James's Fall Festival for his daycare was also this night, so I petered out on motivation. :-\
• 7 cigarettes
• 12:30am bedtime - not bad for a Friday, not bad at all.
• $6 spent on subway for lunch

stats for Sat. 10/23:

• total calories: 1791 - I went to a potluck on Saturday, and I just have to give myself a pat on the back for a moment because I seem to do incredibly well with my eating at parties. In fact, I think I'm more likely to binge at home by myself than at a party where there is plate after plate after plate of delicious high fat/sugary foods. The only reason my calorie count was over 1200 was due to the amount of wine I consumed. 
• calories burned: 0 - no workouts on weekends
• I'm not even sure how many cigarettes I smoked.. a LOT. Ugh.
• 2am bedtime - this KILLED ME. James didn't go to sleep until 11pm at our friend's house, which in retrospect, I should have just left when I realized he wasn't going to bed like he was supposed to.. but instead I got him to sleep and then stayed until about 1am. :-\  Live and learn.
• $0 spent

and finally.....

stats for Sun. 10/24:

• total calories: 1604 - I picked up some Newman's Own frozen pizza for dinner, and MAN! That stuff is good! And super good for you. :)
• no workout
• 4 cigarettes
• 12am bedtime - had to stay up and catch up with hubby since I missed him so much!
• $0 spent ($12 leftover from this week/$44 left for the month)

I think I'm finally starting to reach my "I'm sick of smoking" phase. The only reason I'm doing it at this point is out of social habit - I was very social this week, hence the reason I smoked pretty much everyday. 

Things I want to focus on this week:

- cutting further back on smoking

- getting back on top of my processed sugar intake

- getting enough fiber (I don't think I reached my RDA for fiber ONCE this week - that's really bad)

- working out or walking consistently 5 days a week

- earlier bedtime during the work week

- cutting back alcohol intake on weekends