There's a reason...

...that I haven't posted ALL WEEK.

I've been super sick. Monday and Tuesday I pretty much felt like I was dying a little, yesterday was a bit better, and today is MUCH better.

I have not exercised at all this week thanks to all of that and even though I probably am healthy enough to hit the gym today I won't because we are going out of town tomorrow and I have to finish laundry and pack. UGH.

I can't remember everything I ate (or didn't eat) Monday and Tues... it wasn't much, I'll tell you that. Cereal for breakfast and soup for the rest, I think. So, yeah. Not much. But here's what I had yesterday...

Weds 3/9:

• breakfast: one packet plain oatmeal (cooked, obv) w/ 1/2 tbsp honey and 1/8 cup of milk
• am snack: raw almonds and a banana
• lunch: 6" turkey breast on wheat from Subway w/ provolone, lettuce, cucumbers, bell pepper, onion, pickles, and mustard, baked lays, ONE white chocolate macadamia nut cookie, green tea to drink
• pm snack: venti skim chai from Starbucks
• no dinner (bad, I know)
• 0 cigarettes - that makes 5 days
• 11pm bedtime
• $11 spent between lunch and Starbucks

I have a really big weekend ahead of me that I'm super excited for! I'm bringing the laptop with me so I should have a chance to update while I'm down there.. I hope. I really will be better about this, you guys. 

Quick note: last night as I was getting ready for bed I really started to see some of the changes in my body. I went to the doc on Tues and they weighed me - 197lbs. That was fully dressed and after having eaten, though. I'm not going to complain. Part of this new "exercise more" experiment is that I'm trying not to weigh myself every week anymore. I think it really throws me off when the scale doesn't reflect what I can clearly see with my eyes and feel in my body. 

I'd like to make a statement now:

If on my birthday, April 15th, I am still at the exact same weight (or heavier than) I was the last time I stepped on my scale (195lbs) then I will start strictly counting calories again. 

That's a promise. As much as I really don't want to... I have to say, I'm really enjoying my life of non-calorie-obsession. Thanks to the many months and years of calorie-counting and internet information crammed into my brain I can tell you the caloric worth of pretty much anything to set in from of me... and with that knowledge I'm able to consistently make wise eating choices. Plus I've found I'm starting to do that whole "intuitive eating" thing - when you pay enough attention to your body to know when you're REALLY hungry or if you're just bored, distracted, what-have-you. Probably why I didn't have dinner last night. I had a nice, filling lunch and then I just.. wasn't really hungry. Granted, my chai latte may have helped stave off my hunger a bit... but I think when I was always counting calories I found myself eating simple because I had "room" to do so... I would think, "I still have 600 calories left for today" and so I'd find a way to eat those 600 remaining calories whether I was actually hungry for them or not. Or I would think, "I only have 67 calories left for the day.." and I'd be starving an hour after dinner but couldn't "afford" to let myself eat anything else. I know for me it was becoming a little ridiculous... and mentally unhealthy. We all know I have enough mental illness going on without the food stuff!! lol 

Anyway. The bottom line is: I'm much happier with my relationship with food these days and because of that my general stress level is way down. Go me!