I did a quick tally of last night's calories a few minutes ago and I didn't break the 2500 mark which is excellent - even more excellent is that I didn't think about how many calories I was consuming once during dinner. I just enjoyed my delicious food and the conversation going on.
Today I've done really well and have eaten lots of fruits and veggies - I did have the other half of last night's dinner for lunch, but even at that I'm still under 1800 for the day.
I'm really struggling a bit with how I want to move forward with this whole health experiment. Part of me wants to stop counting calories for the next couple weeks and make a hard conscious effort to get into the gym or walk or do SOMETHING physical on a daily basis and see how that goes.. and part of me is terrified that if I do that I will ruin everything I've worked so hard to accomplish so far.
This afternoon I watched Super-Size Me, which was excellent - if you haven't seen it already I highly recommend adding to your Netflix list! The idea that someone can gain 30 pounds in 30 days is pretty terrifying. Don't get me wrong, I know I wouldn't be eating McDonald's for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday nor would I be consuming anywhere near 4'000 calories/day... but it was just a rude awakening of how quickly you can pack on weight if you're not careful - not to mention how EVIL AND TERRIBLE MCDONALDS FOOD IS! ...even though I still love it and there might not be a better handover cure...
I'm tired of feeling like I'm battling myself constantly. I had this sort of breakdown around this time last year - I had been counting calories for a few months and then found myself breaking down and binging because I constantly felt like I was denying myself. Up until these last few days I hadn't felt denied, or at least I hadn't felt it as strongly as I have this last week. Maybe it's something about this time of the year - with that last few weeks of winter hanging on and the desperation for spring so strong.. it's almost like I'd do anything just to make the next 6 weeks of chilly weather bearable and food is a big part of that. Or maybe it's that I'm feeling it stronger now because I haven't been smoking the last couple weeks and that's catching up to me. Whatever it is, I don't like it - I've had enough! Go away!
I guess for now I'll continue posting daily "stats" and decide what to do about the calorie counting/exercise routine over the next few days.
Positive thing about this past week (past couple actually): I've gotten on an incredible bedtime routine during the work week. I'm in bed asleep no later than 11pm every night and most mornings I'm waking up on my own before my alarm even goes off. Yesterday (Saturday) I even got out of bed at 8:30am! Which felt amazing. I'm finding myself coming home from any weekend excursions by midnight as well which is also awesome and amazing for me!
Sunday:
- total calories: 1750
- 3.2 mile walk
- tomorrow is a holiday so I may stay up until about midnight
- $3 spent on starbucks
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