January So Far

Well, I gained a few pounds. Since weighing in at the beginning of the month, I've gained about 3 pounds. Legit gain, as the scale has reflected the same number about 4 times now. (Yes, I know, I'm obviously stepping on the scale too much.) It's funny how much easier it was to maintain that positive body image thinking/talk when I was maintaining a 1-2 pound fluctuation between 189 and 191... now I'm seeing 194 when I step on the scale, I'm having a hard time keeping that positive monologue going. But I'm committed to my resolution of no fat talk, and have refused to say, "I feel fat", etc. Talking about it like that isn't going to change it - being smart with food choices and exercise will. So I'm officially back on those bandwagons. I'm hoping this will help with my mood, as well.

Last Monday Mike and I decided to give the T25 program a shot, and I realized one very important thing about myself: I have an extreme dislike of workout videos. If it's not Jane Fonda's Low Impact Aerobics circa 1986 (I really wish they would release this on DVD!!) or yoga, it doesn't hold my interest for some reason. But, I told myself I would go through the rest of the week to try all of the different workouts. I bet this will shock the hell out of you... that didn't happen.

Tuesday was a bad day... Monday had also been a bad day... and then Tuesday just added to it. I came home from work so defeated, I had to just go lie in bed for a while. I let Mike fix dinner for himself and the kids while I felt sorry for myself for a little while and then after we got the kids to bed, all I wanted to do was cuddle up on the couch and not think about life for a while. So that's what we did. I'll give it to him, he tried pretty hard to motivate me to get the workout done, but when I started crying he dropped it pretty quick. ...that's not to say I was being a brat, but more saying that's how overwhelmed I was with everything.

Wednesday was a terrible day at work and I felt like I might start dropping F-bombs and walk out the door at any given moment. I don't how, but I managed to get super motivated to lift heavy things when I got home that evening. I cooked dinner and then headed down to the basement for some muscular punishment. It felt awesome. I had to start all over again with weight and was only able to knock out 3x3's on my working sets, but it's a start. It counts. And it felt good, and I felt good about doing it. I also danced/jumped around a lot in between my sets, so bonus goofing off cardio was had. Thursday night I did some power yoga with my fav yogi, Rodney Yee (and by "with", I mean on my television), to stretch out my sore muscles... silly me, I forgot what a core workout yoga can be! While I succeeded in stretching out my quads, glutes, hamstrings and back - I also succeeded in giving my abs a pretty crucial workout and had some pretty decent soreness Friday morning.

I had dinner plans Friday night with some girlfriends and didn't get any purposeful exercise in, but it was good to have a full evening out without having to worry about kiddos or anything. And I did a little dancing with post-dinner drinks. Saturday my workout was cleaning my house -- that felt good in a number of ways! I felt productive, the house was clean (obviously)...well, mostly... laundry got done, etc. We took the kids for a playdate, and then I stayed in with my husband for the evening (who's currently fighting a nasty cold -- here's hoping I don't catch it). It's been a while since I've just sat around catching up on DVR'd TV on a weekend evening and gone to bed a decent time. It was really nice. Unfortunately, I slept like total crap. I tossed and turned all night. According to my FitBit I was up about 30 times throughout the night. Even with the crappy night's sleep, I felt pretty decent Sunday morning. I fixed myself a good breakfast, headed out to run errands, got dinner in the slow cooker, Mike put Nolan down for his nap and I thought to myself, "I think I should go for a run." So I did. It was only about 48 degrees outside - which is certainly much warmer than it has been around here, and much warmer than it will be for the next 8 or 9 days - but I threw on the little bit of cold-weather running gear I own, and figured with it being such a sunny day I'd survive. Wouldn't you know - I did. I will say that the first 10-15 minutes was pretty miserable and I seriously regretted not putting some knit gloves on. I can't remember exactly when last I ran, but I want to say it was at least October if not September. I went a little over 2 miles and did walk/run intervals just based on how I was feeling, how long it took me to get my breath, etc. When I was running I was averaging a 10-12 minute mile, which is pretty decent for me. According to my HRM (I use a Polar FT4, in case anyone was wondering), I burned about 465 calories. My heart rate was pretty high most of the time, which shows how out of shape I really am. But damn, it felt really good to be out there -- especially once I got moving fast enough to keep my body warm. I wrapped up my 2 plus miles and felt like I could have done it all over again, but decided it would probably be smart not to overdo it on my first day back out. I will say, I definitely don't think I could run in weather any colder than, say, 45. I definitely found it much harder to breathe in the cold air. I'm very much looking forward to the hot days of summer. Even when it would be 90 degrees at 8pm, it never bothered me to go for a run.

I did a LOT of stretching once I got back home, and I'm hoping that will pay off with my soreness Monday since I play on jumping right back into my lifting routine while I seem to have all this motivation to get exercise done. Thankfully my B lifts are more upper-body, less legs. Right now I'm planning to try to get yoga in on non-lift days. As I said above, I believe it will be just too frigid to run here for the next week or so. (Our high on Weds is supposed to be 15. YUCK!)

Friday evening, Saturday afternoon/evening, and pretty much all of today (Sunday) my mood has been pretty good. It's almost like I still feel the depression following me around, but it's not actively bothering me - which is very nice. I ate really well today, and all the exercise over the last few days I'm sure has helped immensely. It might also help that I haven't smoked or had any alcohol since Friday evening. I know with my return to work tomorrow that hiatus won't last long, though. The stress really gets to me during the week and sometimes I feel like a beer and a cigarette is the only thing that really help me "wind down" -- maybe lifting and yoga can take their place. I'll think positively on that while I'm feeling like I'm in a positive place and leave it at that.

One of the many fitness bloggers I follow posted a writing/motivation exercise recently that I'm thinking about trying - sort of along the lines of lifting/yoga/running taking the place of regularly drinking and smoking. She asked her followers to think about the person they want to become, to write down the answers to a few simple questions, as well as anything else they feel might be pertinent; what does that person do? how do they behave? who do they spend time with? As well as more health/fitness related questions: what do they eat? how much do they sleep? why type of exercise do they do and how often?

I thought this could be a useful exercise for me and something that I'm planning to work on over the next couple weeks as I find the time/have the motivation.

Positive thought of the day: I'm really proud of myself for taking advantage of my sudden motivation to go for a run today, and I'm also really proud of myself for taking the time to do so much playing with Nolan today without messing on my phone or trying to take care of chores or anything else at the same time. I know my kids really appreciate that, and I think I appreciate it more than I realize.