Healthier than I think?

I was perusing through some of my favorite health and fitness blogs this morning when I came across a post about weight gain and then one followed by discussions of binge eating. Kind of the norm for most health and fitness bloggers, but for some reason it occurred to me as I read these stories of failure and success... that I am healthier, I think.

I do not have disordered eating. I have some days where I crave mostly fat and sweets, and I sometimes indulge these cravings. But I do not binge, nor do I deprive myself to the point of being unhealthy. I may have a slight junk food addiction, this is true. But if I don't put myself in a situation where I have access to that junk, then it doesn't bother me and I'm happy to eat whatever normal-type-foods I may have at home such as: fruits, veggies, whole wheat pasta, chicken breast, salad, etc. I just did major grocery shopping for the first time in about a month, and I'm incredibly excited to eat all those delicious fresh, whole foods!

I consider myself incredibly lucky. I have a positive attitude toward food. It's something I enjoy, but I don't "reward" myself with it, not do I "punish" myself with it. I'm a big fan of splurge days. I've finally reached a point in my "dieting" where I don't even feel guilty for those splurges.

So speaking of splurges and healthy relationships with food... I gained 1.6lbs over the last two weeks. I'm set to start my period this weekend, so this could very easily be water-retention and/or some bloating. I was pretty lenient with myself on calories week before last, but I've been much more active this week and last  so I feel like that sort of balanced itself out.

Official weight @ 8/10/2012: 198.6lbs 

I'm still under 200, though, and that definitely counts for something. I've now been maintaining for about 6 weeks. I think I definitely need to dig a little for that motivation to either a) commit to clean eating for a month or two, or b) get into some kind of regular activity/exercise routine. Still kind of fighting through this whole "I don't wanna" stage, though. Not gonna lie.

I have 10 weeks until Andrea's wedding. I wanted to be at my halfway goal of 185lbs by then. If I really want to push for that then I have 10 weeks to lose roughly 12lbs. That's 1.2lbs/week. I've been steadily losing about 0.5 to 0.75 pounds a week. Outlook not so great, lol! It's okay. I'm feeling so much more confident in this slow-but-steady approach. I've lost all my pregnancy weight and I'm just a couple weeks shy of the 9 month mark. It took me 2 years to gain the other 30lbs I'm currently still carrying around. It may very well take me 2 years to lose that.

One thing I need to really try to remember to do this weekend (or some other not-too-far-in-the-future time) is take my measurements! I can't even remember the last time I did that. It may have been March when I attempted to start the Body Breakthrough program. I am also going to run by body fat % calculation with new measurements and weight. We'll see! Kind of excited about it. I'm a weirdo.

I need to get better about posting my food. This, I think, will definitely help with keeping me accountable to keep the hell away from the fast food!! I've been eating out for lunch almost every day... and although I'm paying attention to what I'm ordering as far as caloric value... this is not helping my too-much-saturated-fat intake problem. Which, in turn, has become a big-fat-belly problem.

Here is yesterday's (I did really well, actually):