The Big Quit

I keep promising a real update and then I keep getting distracted by life.

So I already talked to you guys about my #100DaysOfChange that I’m doing with some assistance from my Instagram app, and that is going really, really well. I’ve made lots of changes not only regarding exercise frequency and general fitnessy stuff, but also a lot of general health changes that I am really proud of. Here are just a few of those things:

• Gave up regular consumption of caffeine/ soda with lunch
• Cut waaaaay back on alcohol consumption/stopped drinking wine altogether to help with migraines
• Stopped birth control pills to see if this will help with my migraines
• Increased fruit/veggie intake to include at least one serving with each meal/snack
• Made an effort to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night

And most importantly:

• I quit smoking

I am 16 days in. I had one cigarette last week and it was disgusting, and took a couple drags off of one the other night (I know, I know – DUMB) which was equally disgusting. But 1.5 cigarettes in 16 days is pretty damn good. Both “breakdowns” followed quite a bit of alcohol consumption, so this is just more fuel to not drink heavily. I will also say, though, that hangovers are pretty much non-existent for me since cutting out smoking. Turns out all this time I was having a cigarette hangover and not an alcohol hangover. Bonus!

I did pick up a disposable e-cigarette the other night for those times where I’m having drinks and/or hanging out with smoker friends and get the urge to smoke. But after reading this article (go here) I’m not sure that I’ll be using that very regularly… or at all. As the mother of a 2 year old, I’m not trying to have him get into my purse, bust this thing open, and get nicotine poisoning. No way, Jose. Talk about motivation to just be done with it all. This is it, for sure.

I think I finally realized last week that I no longer define myself by drinking and smoking. Those things don’t make me unique (at all) and definitely don’t define who I am as a person/mother/wife. As I get

closer to my 30th birthday I think I’m sort of coming to grips with mortality (as cliché as that may seem), not just my own but that of the people I love. I’ve been reading a lot about the effect of fat (saturated or otherwise) in the diet, and found I should be much more worried about my smoking habit than my occasional food indulgences when it comes to heart health and avoiding heart disease. For some of you this may seem like a giant “duh” statement, but I think I always downplayed the health effects of smoking to myself. I justified a lot. I feel like I can’t justify any longer. My grandfather’s recent health problems brought a lot of this to the forefront for me, and while things are going really well for him and his healthy is improving, I can soundly say I would like to avoid living through the same experiences in my old age.

With all these health changes also comes a very base hope of: maybe this will make my weight loss easier. Birth control pills can cause weight gain and also make it hard to lose weight due to complicated hormone function, plus smoking increases cortisol production and fat storage due to all the fun chemicals in cigarettes effecting hormone function. Not to mention smoking can increase your risk for depression – which I already deal with.

But speaking of weight loss: Mike made a good point the other day when he said to me, “But you’re not trying to lose weight. This isn’t about weight loss, it’s about getting healthy overall. Weight loss is just a possible pleasant side-effect of all of this.”  That is sort of true. I’ve gone through phases. Right now I’m in more of a “sick of seeing 190-something on the scale” phase, and less of a “I love my body and just want it to be healthy and awesome” phase. While I’m still being smart about how I go about losing weight, I am frustrated to find myself at a 500-800 daily calorie deficit while eating fairly “clean” with absolutely no movement on the scale so far. That’s not even mentioning that daily exercise, and the fact that I’m doing fabulous with my protein intake and mostly avoiding heavily processed carbs. I think I may have to come to grips with the fact that I may achieve the body I want… and still weigh close to 190lbs. And I have to be okay with that. I’m still working on it. I’m seeing big changes in my body composition in the last 20 days, and I imagine that will continue. If I can get rid of the belly fat and feel awesome in my clothes and weigh 190lbs, that’s totally fine, right? Well, it should be. That’s all I’m saying.

Enough focus on (poor) body image for now…

So, yes, I’m super proud of myself for my recent accomplishments. I feel like I’m well on my way to completing my “future self” list, and that’s awesome. 

I'll be posting some progress pictures soon!