A Brief Moment of Positivity

Last night I went up to a local restaurant/bar to meet up with some friends for a beer. It just happened to be karaoke night (and I just happen to love me some karaoke), and it also just happened to be pretty dead in the bar area so I got to sing several songs over the couple hours I was up there.

I had a bit of a busy day yesterday and didn't really eat much for lack of time, then I took my oldest son to a birthday party at a roller rink where I got to roller skate too!! Not only was there roller skating, but also a reunion with friends I hadn't seen in over a year! So much fun!!! However, after doing that for about an hour running on almost zero food... and then eating a bunch of fried and sugary goodness from the party snacks, I honestly felt like I was maybe having a diabetic episode. I felt like I was going to just pass out at one point! The point of this is to say: I didn't drink much with my friends even though I felt much more "normal" at that point of the night. I had just a couple beers, drank a lot of water, and danced my butt off to all the awesome karaoke folks were singing. I had a BLAST! And I felt really awesome about not being a drunky-pants, allowing me to offer a couple of my friends a ride home and save them some cab money.

I felt really good when I got home, although tired. As I got ready for bed I was feeling very good about myself and pretty happy in general. I noticed I was giving myself compliments in my head while changing into my pajamas. I was thinking, "Man, Jess, look at these awesome legs you have. They not only let you walk around all day long everyday, but they also let you do super fun things like roller skate after 15 years, and dance and jump around to music like a crazy person. They are pretty badass body parts, for sure." I thought about how lucky I am to be healthy and able-bodied, and how even though I have some extra fat hanging out on my belly after two children (and less-than-stellar eating habits!), that's okay. I like my soft belly that carried my beautiful children, and my strong legs that let me run, dance, and jump. These are the parts of my body that I've probably disliked the most my entire adult life. It felt good to all of a sudden be thankful for them and recognize that they are beautiful even if they aren't "perfect".

I'm not magically "better" - but it was nice to have these few hours of fun and positivity. It was still hard to get out of bed this morning, but I'm feeling more like there is light at the end of the tunnel today. I can't say that there won't be anymore really bad days, but I'm sure thankful for yesterday being a good day.