...when did this happen?

I have a tumblr... it's where I post things that I like, that make me happy, that make me laugh, etc. It's honestly sort of a glorified Pinterest for me - but I enjoy it. I follow a lot of Fitblrs on there and will occasionally share their posts on my tumblr if I feel like it's something that's more "life" related vs strictly health/fitness.

Many of the Fitblrs I follow are "fitspiration" pages - there are a lot of posts of women lifting, Crossfit athletes, figuring competitors, fitness models, etc. Recently I realized I don't enjoy looking at these posts anymore. I'm realizing more and more that these images, while at first seemed like better images to strive toward because they represented an image of "strong" vs "skinny", really are only providing another type of unattainable goal.

These women do not look like this 24/7. They train for these bodies for specific purposes and only at specific times of the year. To maintain the diet and training regimen to look like this everyday would be nearly impossible -- and wouldn't be healthy in any way. I find myself wishing that inspirational memes like this:

Source

were of women that look more like me, rather than a fitness model or figuring/bikini competitor. This girl had to do several bulk/cut cycles to get here... those bulk cycles mean 4-6 months of eating a LOT of calories, gaining weight (not only muscle, but also fat), cutting out cardio almost entirely, and lifting HEAVY. ...to then reveal the muscles underneath she must cut. That means restricting calories considerably, sticking to a bland diet of chicken breasts/broccoli/sweet potatoes/oatmeal and the occasional banana... every day... for 3-4 months... while adding in lots of cardio and continuing to lift in hopes that the mass increase in cardio and decrease in calories doesn't eat away all the muscle she spent so long building and feeding. These cuts often lead to wrecked hormones, metabolic shut down, and emotional turmoil. It can take these women years to recover from the damage done to their hormones and metabolisms. (Here's an excellent article/interview with a fitness model who does her cuts in a more healthy way - I personally think her "before" pictures are much more attractive than her cuts!: http://eatmore2weighless.com/competitor-stephanielynn-interview/)

No, thank you. That kind of "work" isn't worth it. It isn't going to dramatically change my life for the better.

Through just a tiny bit of education, I've also realized: this isn't just happening to girls that are fitness competitors -- this is happening to just your "casual" exerciser. It's so important to educate yourself on the hormonal and metabolic effects of Very Low Calorie Dieting and Chronic Cardio... and, maybe more importantly, how you can change the vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting/over-exercising.

Sorry, I kind of went off on a little tangent there... back to "fitspiration"; I have a board on Pinterest with that title and it's FULL of inspiration memes similar to the one above. But I don't believe my body will ever look like that - and today, right now, and for the last few weeks I don't believe I want my body to look like that. I am starting to love my body so much and appreciate all the cool things it does for me. Its belly is a little squishy and is still holding onto that "mommy" roll, its legs have some cellulite, its back still carries some excess fat stores... but it can also lift heavy things, tote my 32 lbs toddler around, run fast enough to keep said toddler from dashing into the street, race against my 7 year old on his scooter (and WIN!!), carry laundry up and down 2 flights of stairs without getting out of breath, and carry 6-7 bags of groceries at one time in from the car without straining at the weight. It looks good in the clothes I put on it (most of the time - we can't all have infallible fashion sense), and even without any clothes on it.

I love my body. I accept my body and its flaws. And while I am all about continuing to exercise/be active and make smarter decisions about the foods I eat - I do that because I love my body, no longer in order to love my body.

I don't know when this happened. I don't know what exactly I did or accomplished to make it click. I don't know if it came from an emotional place, or a physical place. I don't know if I actually even look a whole lot different than I did, say, 3 or 4 months ago -- but I feel very different and I see myself very differently when I look in the mirror and/or picture myself in my head. My mental image of myself is very close to the physical image of myself. It's a strange and happy place to be.