Connections

My diet has been pretty crappy lately. I go through phases like this pretty regularly. I get in a good groove of cooking fresh, eating lunch at home, getting up early enough to make a decent breakfast for myself, snacking on lots of fresh fruits and veggies, etc. Then I’ll have a week or weekend where I drink a lot, eat a lot of junk, go out for fast-food lunch too often and order-in or eat-out for dinner nearly every night and that sends me into a tailspin of crappy eating for a few week or a couple months, depending on where I am mentally/emotionally.

I’m currently in the latter phase… and I think it caught up to me last week. We’re going on about a month of this crappy eating cycle and the last 2 weeks I’ve especially felt run down and lethargic (although have been in a decent mental place), but last Thursday.. I don’t know what happened. I had to go to bed almost as soon as I got home from work/dinner at my mom’s. I felt almost sick with exhaustion. I dozed while my 7 year old got his shower and got ready for bed, I read him his bedtime story while half-asleep, and promptly tucked myself into bed the moment his “lights out” time approached at 8:30pm. I slept until 7:30am the next morning.

I wish I could say I woke up Friday morning feeling “amazing” and “refreshed” – not so, Dear Readers. I woke up feeling normal. I woke up feeling the same way I feel after a mere 6 or 7 hours of sleep. My body and mind showed no enhancement from my 11 hour nap, save for the sickening exhaustion being gone. In fact, I felt as if I could have slept another 3 or 4 hours easily.

The only thing I can imagine that would have spurned this (other than flu onset – which it definitely wasn’t/isn’t) is the amount of total processed, fake junk “food” I’ve been feeding my body for the last few weeks… this past week has been especially bad, I feel like. I’m too lazy to actually go back and look at the last week’s worth of food journaling to prove it to you – but just trust me on this.

While I’m enjoying my pseudo intuitive eating and leaving behind my stress over “how many calories”, I think I may have subconsciously given myself a Get Out of Jail Free card when it came to my food choices… ie: EAT ALL THE JUNK FOOD AND CANDY. NO, REALLY. IT’S OKAY. YOU’LL BE FINE. Well, I’m not fine. Thursday night proved that. And my migraine that came out of nowhere the night before was probably more proof than the weird exhaustion spell. I had a bad migraine a couple months ago, but that was the first one in over a year… and now to have a second in less than 3 months? I’m convinced this has everything to do with recent food choices. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve upped the exercise the last couple months as well – my body needs that real food and its nutrients!! It may also explain why every Wednesday I have a crash-and-burn forced rest day from exercise after lifting Monday nights and running 2-3 miles Tuesday nights. Maybe if I was feeding myself properly my body could recover a little more quickly and easily.

I leave in a few days for a long weekend down in Arkansas to see family and friends. While I’m sure this trip will be full of alcohol and restaurant food indulgence, it will also be filled with some homecooked meals at my grandparent’s, which are always complete with an abundance of vegetable sides and tons of protein! When I return home I plan to get back on top of my meal planning and shop for lots of fresh foods and try to avoid purchasing any junky carby food… with the exception of beer and ice cream. Everything in moderation. ;)