After my hair appointment I knew I had dinner plans with friends. I ended up getting finished with my hair in less time than expected (only 2 hours this time lol), and headed home to tuck the kids in and change my clothes. As I was changing, I started completely freaking out that I had not gone for my version of "running" that night since it was an off-day from strength training. I had gone for a 30 minute walk at lunch. I got about a 150 calorie burn in. 2 weeks ago that would have been the ONLY EXERCISE I WAS DOING. PERIOD. But for some reason my brain decided taking that 30 minute walk on my off-strength day was just not enough. I started thinking, "Maybe I shouldn't go out for dinner. I can't afford the calories."
what?
Where was this coming from? Again, I ask you... "Who is this chick?" but this time in a bad way.
Well, that was just enough of that craziness. I marched myself into the bathroom, looked myself in the eye in the mirror and literally said out loud: "Jessica, you stop this right now. You worked out hard last night. You kicked butt, you pushed yourself, you were covered in sweat. The fact that you aren't completely sore right now from that workout is a good sign. It means your body is adapting, your muscles are getting stronger. This is what you want to happen. This is the point. You went for a walk today - THAT COUNTS. Go have your delicious dinner and enjoy yourself. You are beautiful and strong and healthy. It's okay to work hard, but you can't overdo it."
And I did go enjoy my delicious dinner. I went over my calories because I had to enjoy delicious beer with my delicious dinner. But that is okay. There was still this little piece of crazy in the back of my mind trying to tell me I should do strength training AND run last night... but I did not do that. A) I didn't have the time, and B) that just would have been too much. The last thing I want to do is overwork myself this early back in the game. I need to stop freaking out about calorie burns. It's not about that. It's about being healthy. It's not like I am required to drop a ton of weight in a short amount of time. If it takes me another 9 months to lose another 20lbs then so be it.
Fighting crazy is exhausting.
I did another round of Workout B last night and Mike even joined me! I realized: Maybe I just don't like working out with other people. It feels a lot better to just stick my headphones on and escape somewhere else for a while. But I know he appreciated it, and it was good for him. Tonight I don't know if I'll get a walk/run in or not, but I did have a walk at lunch even though it wasn't as long as I would have liked.
Here is my food/calorie burn for the last couple days:
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